Life After You
by mikka18
Summary: Set early season 6. Wesley shows up on Buffy's doorstep with an infant Connor. Struggling to balance her duties as the Slayer, as well as raising Connor and Dawn, help arrives in the unexpected form of a bleached blonde vampire. B/S, with some B/A.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Life After You

Summary: Set early season 6. Wesley shows up on Buffy's doorstep with an infant Connor. Struggling to balance her duties as the Slayer, as well as raising Connor and Dawn, help arrives in the unexpected form of a bleached blonde vampire. B/S, with some B/A.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything or anyone from BtVS or Angel. Joss Whedon and Co own it all.

Author's Note: So, here's a new story from me - but it isn't my idea. BellaVision created the plot and asked me to write it for her, so here I am. It's set early season 6, but I had to do a little changing. So far, Willow and Tara don't live with Buffy and Dawn anymore, they have their own place. And there will be connection to the Angel world, which I'm not very up to date on, so don't burn me for lack of info on that side :) Thanks, and I'll be sure to pre-warn any other changes when they come up!

* * *

The warm rays of the morning sunrise crept in through the thin curtains of her bedroom. Seeing the first light of day had always had a calming effect on her; whatever had happened when the sky was at its darkest had washed away, and she was free until the sun descended again, and the moon awoke. Everything seemed at peace, there was no sound, no motion – just utter stillness. That was why she stood there at the window, staring out at the silent city that she called home, prepared for the day ahead. Or so she thought.

* * *

Nothing could have prepared Buffy for what she would face only moments after the sun rose. After a nice cool shower and outfit selection, she had headed downstairs to start breakfast for herself and Dawn. But, she was interrupted by a knock on the door just after finishing the pancake mix.

Visitors that early in the day were... well she'd never had one.

With a curious frown, she headed to the door and opened it.

"Wesley? What are you doing here? Is everything okay in LA? Is Angel... what's that?" her questions were halted when she noticed a small bundle in his arms.

Wesley sighed. "Buffy, I need your help – _Angel_ needs your help."

She raised an eyebrow. "My help... with what?" she asked, hesitant. He glanced down to the bundled blankets in his arms, then back to her before carefully tucking a part back. "Oh... is that a..?"

"A baby? Quite," he finished.

Buffy nodded with a confused expression. "I didn't know you were so... precarious."

Wesley huffed. "I assure you I am not. Buffy, this is not my child – its Angel's."

Buffy stood completely still as the whole world slowed down to a stop. Angel, have a baby? No, it wasn't possible. Vampires couldn't reproduce; she would know that – it made her job a hell of a lot easier without little baby blood suckers crawling around. No, it was a mistake. Wesley had to be wrong. Maybe this was all some kind of a joke.

"Buffy? Buffy, are you alright?"

Wesley's voice pulled her out of her daze and back into the world of reality. Or was it? Maybe she had been sucked through some portal while she slept and this was all just a big nightmare.

"Uh, no, Wesley, I can assure you I am not," she mocked. "I haven't seen you since... and here you are, on my doorstep with a baby you're claiming is Angel's. This isn't possible, Angel can't have kids, no vampire can. You're wrong."

"I wish I was, I really do. May I come in? I will explain everything."

Buffy hesitated before nodding. She said nothing as she moved to the side and watched Wesley step in. She shut the door and joined him in the living room where he was already seated, the baby free of blankets and resting in his arms.

"You should have a seat," Wesley advised, but she shook her head. "Very well. Some time ago, Darla returned and Angel was... well, he was once again intoxicated with her."

Buffy flinched slightly. "Skip the Darla parts and get right to the baby ones."

He nodded. "Of course. But you see Buffy, Darla is very much a part of this - she is the child's mother."

Before she knew it, Buffy laughed. What was funny, she couldn't explain. She didn't feel like laughing, if anything, she felt the opposite. "Angel knocked Darla up and tada – baby. See, wasn't that an easy and short version? Question is Wes, why are you here? If this is... _their_ baby, shouldn't they be taking care of him? ... It is a him isn't it?"

"Yes, his name is Connor. And while I'm certain Angel would make an exceptional father, he is rather... unavailable for the time being. In his absence, I knew of no other person who would be better suited to care for little Connor than you, Buffy."

"Me? Okay now I'm convinced that you have totally lost it. I'm the Slayer, or have you forgotten that? My life is dangerous - I can't bring a baby into it. There has to be someone else, someone in LA. Can't _you_ just take care of him?"

"There is only one person on this planet that Angel himself would trust with his child, and I believe you know who that is. If there was another option, I would gladly go forth with it and spare you the burden, but Buffy... there isn't. I can't say how long you will have him, but I know that you will manage to balance your duty as the Slayer and-..."

"And what Wesley, my duty to Angel?" she interrupted. "You're a Watcher, or used to be... would you let your Slayer raise a baby while she's training and you know, saving the world and all that jazz? I think not. I'm sorry, but I just can't. I have Dawn to think about, and bringing a vampire baby into the mix is just not a-..." Wesley cut her off when he began to laugh. "I don't know what's so funny, but you-..."

"Connor is not a vampire. He may not be fully human, but he is most definitely not a vampire. You're right, as a Watcher I would not approve of this, but I did not come here as a Watcher. I came as a friend. We haven't always seen eye to eye Buffy, but we both care about Angel. He is in a dark place right now, one that could ultimately take hold of him forever. I am needed in LA to aid in his recovery, and I cannot do that to my best ability if Connor is not with someone who can be trusted."

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing here. You're trying to play on my feelings for Angel by planting the idea in my head that his fate rests in my hands," she said.

"Perhaps... is it working?" he asked and Buffy sighed.

She looked down at the small baby boy in Wesley's arms and smiled softly. This was Angel's baby, the baby that they could have never had together. If Angel was sick, then Buffy surely owed it to him to help him, right? They had been through a lot together, and he had always been there for her when she needed him. Now, it was her turn. As hard as it was for her to imagine herself with a child, it was harder to imagine turning him away. Connor couldn't help who his parents were – he was innocent. And wasn't that her duty, to help the helpless and protect the innocent?

"He is pretty cute," she said with a smile. "If I do this, I have a few demands."

"Such as?"

"I want a weekly update on Angel's condition, and if for some reason I... become unavailable myself, I don't want the responsibility of Connor to fall back on anyone here. Not Dawn, or Giles, or Willow – no one. This is my choice, not theirs, and regardless of Angel's sanity, you're to come and pick him up and bring him back to LA."

Wesley nodded. "Of course Buffy, I understand. His things are in the car; I'll run out and get them for you now."

Buffy nodded absently. She was lost in Connor's eyes – _Angel's eyes._

* * *

So, there it is, first chapter! Let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

After Wesley left, Buffy sat quietly in the living room for what felt like hours just staring at Connor. She was trying to understand what she had just done by accepting him, what she had given up for him. They tiny bit of freedom she had as a result of being the Slayer disappeared the second Wesley placed him in her arms. She was now this innocent child's protecter, and she had no idea what to do with him. If only her mother were still alive, she would know.

What had felt like hours must have only been minutes because Dawn interrupted her when she appeared downstairs, ready for school and looking for her breakfast.

"Hey Buff, what are you... is that what I think it is?" she asked as she inched closer.

Buffy simply nodded.

"Where did it come from?"

Buffy looked up at her younger sister and motioned for her to sit down. "Dawn, things are going to change around here for a little while. I... I'm helping Angel, this is his baby, but he's not able to look after him right now."

"Angel's? But I thought... vampires can't have kids Buffy, I'm not dumb, I hear things."

Buffy smiled. "I wasn't calling you dumb Dawnie. I'm as confused as you are, but somehow Angel had a child, and there was no one else to take him. I don't know how this is going to work, or if it will at all, but I had to try. I'm the Slayer, and this is an innocent child who can't help who his parents are or what he is. Angel's unstable right now, and that means that Connor is in danger. No one else can protect him."

Dawn nodded. "Sure, I understand. But... _what_ is he? I mean, is he like a vampire?"

Buffy sighed. "Apparently not, but who really knows? I guess time will tell..."

"Okay. But if I see fangs, I am totally not on diaper duty."

The two sisters shared a smile before Dawn stood and headed for the kitchen. "So you're okay with this Dawn, right? Because if you aren't, I can call Wesley and-..."

"It's fine Buff. It might actually be kind of cool to have a little baby around," she said with a reassuring smile.

Buffy nodded. "Alright. Just me, you, and a baby then."

"One tiny and dysfunctional super human family."

* * *

Once Buffy dropped Dawn off at school, she headed towards the Magic Box where her friends were most likely discussing any recent demon related issues. She had no idea how to introduce Connor. Angel was definitely not a favourite with everyone, and now to find out that she was going to be raising his child... it was very likely to go bad.

She took a deep breath before pushing open the door and walking inside, the bell above declaring her presence. Connor was bundled tightly in her arms, as if she could make him invisible.

"Hey Buff, what's that?" Xander asked as he approached her. Buffy pulled the blanket back slightly to expose Connor's face, and Xander jumped back with a loud gasp. "Baby! Buffy! Baby!"

"Xander," she scolded. "Calm down, it isn't what it looks like."

"It looks like you're holding a baby."

She frowned. "Well, okay, maybe it is what it looks like... but it's not my baby."

He laughed. "I knew that, geez, I might now always be in the loop, but I'm in that one."

Buffy walked past him and down to the round table where Willow, Tara, Anya and Giles were gathered. "Hey guys..." she said, shyly.

Willow glanced up at her friend casually, "Hey Buff," she said, before returning to her book. After a brief second, her head snapped back up. "Why do you have a baby? Oh, is it a demon baby? Cause I read this really neat article on... nevermind."

Buffy smiled, even though on the inside her stomach was in knots. "Guys, this is Connor... he's Angel's son."

A blanket of silence covered the room. No one knew what to say or how to react. This wasn't just something that would be taken lightly. Buffy hadn't, so why would they? She had felt utter disbelief that was now recognizable on her friends faces.

"Well that's a first," Anya said, breaking the awkward silence. "Never in my 1200 years have I seen a vampire reproduce. So Angel must be all 'grr arg' now that he had-..."

"Ahn, not now," Xander interrupted, and she frowned before returning to the cash register. "What do you mean this is Angel's son? Buffy, we all know that vampires can't spit out babies - that's the one upside."

Buffy shrugged. "When you find out, please, fill me in. Look, all I know is that Wesley showed up at my house with a baby. He told me Angel was... unstable and they had no one else they could trust. I get that it's completely insane, but what was I supposed to do? Just let Wesley take him back to Angel knowing that he'd be in danger? I couldn't..."

Giles sighed as he approached her, glancing down at the little boy in her arms. "Fascinating..."

She backed away slightly. "He isn't something for you to poke and prode at Giles, he's innocent - just like Dawn was."

"Not to be the bad guy here, but Buffy, you're the Slayer," Willow spoke up.

"Which is exactly my point. Giles, what is my duty?" she asked, and he hesitated. "Giles..."

"If I'm correct, I believe you are referring to the part of prophecy that says the Slayer is destined to help the helpless and protect the innocent. But Buffy, it is far more complicated than that."

"And how long have I been slaying now? Longer than most, am I right? So I must know what I'm doing here - and I have you guys... my glue. I didn't ask for this, but then again, I never do. I know that Angel was..."

"An undead jerk," Xander cut in.

Buffy glared over at him. "To you, maybe. But he meant something to me. And as wrong as this may be, I want to help him. You guys can never understand what I felt for him, so please, stop trying. Just trust me... I sort of know what I'm doing."

Tara smiled. "Well I th-think it's great."

"Me too," Willow pitched in. "Who wouldn't want a cute little bundle of baby around?"

Buffy smiled. "Thank you, honestly. I was really hoping you guys would be okay with this."

"Have you told Dawn?" Giles asked and she nodded.

"She found out this morning and took it better than I expected. She seemed pretty nonchalant about the whole thing."

"Wow, a baby and big words all in the same day - our little Slayer is all grown up," Xander teased.

* * *

It had been a long day, and Buffy felt it. She was used to fighting vampires and demons, not introducing a baby, diaper changes and scheduled feedings. One might think it to be easier - one would be wrong, way wrong. Everything just felt like it was collapsing. Just when she figured she had everything under control - slaying and Dawn - life decided to throw her a curve ball. She wanted to kick life right in the ass.

At least until she looked at Connor. No matter how crappy she felt, or how much she didn't want this, it all disappeared when he smiled at her. Nothing ever made her feel more special.

When Connor had fallen asleep an hour ago, Buffy had snuck outside to the back deck for some air. It was an overwhelming feeling, knowing that a tiny person depended on you for their total existance. As special as his smile made her feel, she didn't know how she was going to manage taking care of him and Dawn, _and_ being the Slayer.

"Ello Slayer, nice night for patrollin'," Spike greeted as he sat beside her. Buffy looked over at him, her eyes droopy and her hair slightly frazzled. "What the bloody hell 'appened to you?"

She sighed. "Life... Connor."

"Who?"

Buffy turned her gaze to the trees that stood tall in the yard. "Connor, my baby."

"Baby? When'd you get knocked up? Better yet, _who_ got you knocked up?" he asked, his voice drowning in jealousy.

Buffy couldn't help but smile. "No one... I didn't. He isn't mine," she said.

"Well he sure as hell isn't Nibblet's now is he?"

Her smile turned into a glare. "What? You think I'm lying to you? We've been fighting side by side Spike, don't you think you'd notice if I was pregnant? Besides, I've been kinda dead."

He shrugged. "Well, yeah, but how else do you get a baby luv?"

"Watchers just seem to be popping up with them at your doorstep nowadays."

Spike's eyebrow raised. "I enjoy cryptic as much as the next bloke, but in this case, you're gonna have to elaborate on that one."

"Wesley showed up this morning with a baby, and he can't take care of him so-..."

"That ponce had a kid?" he interrupted.

"Not exactly... Angel did."

Spike's jaw nearly dropped. "Peaches? That's not possible. We can't do... _that_."

She shrugged. "I guess they need to come out with a new birth control for vampire sluts."

"Judgin' by the bitterness tha's tainted your usual merry tone, you aren't takin' it so well."

"Me and Angel are over, we've been over for a long time - you know that. He's grown, I can't control him... I've moved on, I was with Riley," she defended.

Spike laughed. "Captain Cardboard? Oh come on Slayer, he didn't count."

"He did so. Just because he wasn't a vampire, doesn't mean I didn't care about him. Oh, and there was Ben... well, kind of Ben."

Spike laughed. "You mean Glory... Come to think of it Slayer, tha's pretty hot."

She sent him another piercing glare. "You're such a pig."

"So I've been told," he said with a smile. They sat there in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, before he broke it. "Well, who'd he shag?"

Buffy looked up at him, searching his eyes for something she didn't know. "Darla," she finally said.

"Poor kid. So, wha's he doin' here then? You aren't thinkin' of keepin' him, are you Buffy?"

She sighed. "I know, I know, it's crazy and it doesn't make any sense. But that's the story of my life... Connor is innocent Spike, he needs someone, and-..."

The back door opened and Dawn stepped out, cutting Buffy off. "Connor woke up and I can't get him settled, I even tried my Spike impress-... hey Spike," Dawn said.

"Ey Bit, baby troubles?"

"Connor's kind of having a hard time adjusting... he's surrounded by strangers who have no clue what they're doing," Buffy said.

Spike nodded before standing up. "Lead the way," he said to Dawn as he followed her inside.

Buffy slowly trailed them, making sure to stay out of the way. She was curious as to what Spike was planning and intended on watching it from an outside perspective.

In the living room, Connor laid in his bassinet squirming and whining. Buffy watched as Spike bent down and scooped the boy up into his arms. He looked so tiny against Spike's masculine stature, and yet so natural at the same time. She didn't know how he was doing what he was doing - and she was staring right at him. But he did it. Connor immediately calmed as Spike gently soothed him.

Buffy watched in silent amazement. Spike was a vampire. Ten years ago he wouldn't have hesitated to kill Connor, yet there he was, rocking him softly in his arms. It wasn't the first time Spike had surprised her with his humanity, and she doubted it would be the last.

Once Connor had settled, Spike placed him back into his bassinet gently and turned with a satisfied smirk.

"How did you do that?" Buffy asked.

Spike shrugged. "What can I say, kids love the Big Bad."

Dawn laughed. "That would look so threatening on your dangerous vampire resume - baby whisperer."

He sent her an unamused look. "Watch it Bit, I'm bloody brilliant at makin' 'em cry too."

* * *

Later that night, Buffy sat with Spike in the living room as they watched Connor sleep.

"Relax Slayer, 's only the first day. The kid'll adjust," he reassured.

"And what if he doesn't? Lock me in a room with a crazed vamp and I'm all good - lock me in a room with a baby and I'm all panicked. I'm not the motherly type Spike... I'm too damaged," she said and he smiled softly.

"Wrong, tha's what makes you the perfect motherly type. You know what life really means, how important every moment is, and how quick you can lose it all. Kid's lucky to have someone as beautiful and strong as you watchin' out for him."

Buffy smiled. "I wish I could believe that, but I can't. I don't know how you do it, but seeing you with Connor... I saw you in a whole new way. I didn't see a vampire, I saw a man... a good one.."

When Spike looked over at her, there was shock, disbelief, and love in his eyes. "Don't be so hard on yourself Buffy, everything will work out. I'm not going anywhere, you know that," he said, choosing to not address her words for fear she would take them back.

Buffy nodded. "As crazy as it sounds, sometimes I don't know how I'd make it through without you Spike."

He smiled. "You're tired luv, you should get to bed while the babe's asleep. If you like, I can sit outside and listen for him, that way you can get a proper rest."

She smiled. "Spike, you can't sit on my step all night."

He nodded "Right then. I'll be on my way."

As he moved to get up, Buffy reached out and touched his arm. "But you can sit in my living room - I trust you."

They shared a quiet smile of understanding before she stood and headed for the stairs.

She stopped halfway and turned to him. "Thank you for tonight, I owe you one."

"You owe me nothing luv, now get to bed."

She laughed lightly. "You're right, I must be tired if I'm actually considering taking an order from you... goodnight Spike."

"Night Buffy."


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews, very much appreciated. I'm glad you guys like this so far, and hopefully I can keep your interest :) !

Two weeks had passed, and Buffy had managed to fall into a normal routine. Her day would start at sunrise, and after basking in those few minutes of peace, she would head downstairs and start breakfast. Connor usually slept in until seven, so she had time to get everything organized before worrying about him. Once he was awake, she got him changed, dressed, and fed, then laid him in his playpen while she helped Dawn get ready.

Then the three of them would head to the school, and after dropping Dawn off, Buffy would take Connor to the Magic Box where she was able to train while the gang kept an eye on him.

After training and picking up Dawn, she would make supper, help Dawn with her homework, and care for Connor as needed until he was ready to settle down around eight. A few nights a week Willow and Tara would stay over for a few hours so Buffy could patrol, but the rest of the nights it was up to Spike. He had been strangely helpful, and she had been strangly appreciative.

It was no secret that Spike was in love with her; he'd made himself quite clear on numerous occassions. So it shouldn't have come as much of a shock when he'd offered his help so freely. But still, with a baby - _Angel's_ baby?

When Spike would finish his patrol, he would often stop by the house and check in on Buffy to make sure she was handling everything okay. A few times he even stayed the night so that she would be assured a full sleep. Even though Connor was a pretty good sleeper, he would wake up at least once or twice during the night hungry or wet. It was a sweet gesture, and one that Buffy sincerely appreciated.

As she strolled through the cemetery, swinging her stake in her hand skillfully, her mind replayed the bizzare reality of the past two weeks. Her life had taken a dramatic turn, something she had not expected, yet it felt oddly comfortable. What had started out as a burden had turned into somewhat of a blessing. Even after only a couple weeks, Buffy was falling hard for the little boy she never wanted.

"Slayer," she heard the familiar voice from behind. She turned around to find Spike resting against a tombstone, lighting a cigarette. "Red with the kid?"

Buffy nodded. "Yeah, she's really starting to get attached to the little guy."

"And you?"

She smiled. "Yeah, yeah I am. I mean, I never thought that I would - he's just so darn cute, you know?"

Spike nodded with a smile. "Don't mind the little fellow myself."

Buffy started walking, and he followed. She decided then was a good a time as any to ask the question she had been wondering. "How come you never mention it?"

"Mention what luv?" he asked.

"Don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about. For the last two weeks you've been helping me take care of a baby - Angel's baby. You and Angel, not so tight."

Spike sighed. "I 'aven't said anythin' 'cause this 'asn't got a bloody thing to do with Peaches. Well, yeah, it's his kid, but it's you who's takin' care of him. I don't give a damn what happens to that wanker, but you do Buffy. And I hate to see you upset. So tha's why I'm here and tha's why I 'aven't mentioned it. Far as I'm concerned, it doesn't matter if it's Peaches kid or the President's - you're alone and you need someone. I might not be who you were hopin' for, but I'm what you got - least til you tell me not to be," he explained.

Buffy smiled. "And if that does happen, what will you do then?"

He shrugged. "Give you your space, but watch over you... just like I always will. You could kick my undead self from here back to England and I'd still follow you 'round like a love sick puppy... but one of 'em vicious kind, right big fangs and all that good stuff."

It surprised her to find that his words comforted her. Not even a month ago and she would have rolled her eyes and punched him. But now she saw everything differently - including Spike.

"I like puppies," she said with a half smile.

He laughed lightly. "Walk you home pet?"

She nodded. "I like that too."

When Buffy got home that night, her mind was a scramble of thoughts about one thing - Spike. Since when did she start to feel more than utter disgust for him? He might have been her stalker, but what annoyed her before now comforted her. She knew that _someone_ would always be watching over her, Dawn, and Connor. Someone she trusted enough to put their lives in his hands - and she didn't trust many.

But feeling something and confessing something were two very different things. If she told Spike how she _might_ feel about him, he _might_ want more. Did she?

With a shake of her head she tried to rid herself of such ridiculous thoughts. Maybe she was going crazy, that would explain it. Or maybe it was a side-effect from being raised from the dead. Whatever it was, she didn't plan on thinking or feeling it anymore.

A couple days later, Buffy was in the kitchen making supper while Dawn played with Connor upstairs. She had been busy focusing extra hard on house duties in order to keep her mind away from Spike. It terrified her that her feelings for him might add up to more than just her "slay buddy". He wasn't like Angel, he didn't have a soul. He was a vile, evil creature that was beneath her.

Damn - she could only fool herself for so long.

There was a knock on the back door and Buffy quickly wiped her hands clean beore going to answer it. When she opened it Spike was standing there. Sunset had been less than an hour ago and he was already stopping by.

"Ey pet, thought I'd swing by before patrollin' and see if you need anything," he said, stepping inside as she returned to supper.

"No, I have it all under control," she said simply.

He nodded as he peeked over her shoulder. "Looks delicious, too bad I couldn't enjoy it."

"Too bad I wouldn't invite you to," she snapped.

"Somethin' wrong Slayer?"

Buffy sighed. "No. I just want to have a quiet night in."

He nodded. "Alright. Want me to watch over Connor?"

She stopped what she was doing and turned to face him. "No, I don't. Actually, I'd rather you not come by again... ever," she said softly.

The look of hurt on his face filled her with guilt. Of course she was lying - she wanted him to stay, and she wanted him to keep coming by. She had grown to look forward to his visits, and that's what scared her. That is what caused her to push him away.

"Well then," he started.

"Spike, I-..."

"No need luv, I understand. You know where I am, if you need me," he said before disappearing out the back door.

Buffy rested against the counter with a sigh of frustration. She didn't mean to hurt him, but she couldn't face him knowing what she did.

The next morning Buffy stood at her window, staring out at the city of Sunnydale as the sun rose above it. She still enjoyed her first and only few minutes of peace, especially after what she said to Spike the night before. His face had haunted her sleep; his expression full of honest pain at hearing her words. She was surprised he didn't fight her, didn't challenge her like he usually did. Odd as it was, she had hoped he might. Then she would have been able to be mad at him, to hate him and not replay the moment over and over in her dreams.

She had considered apologizing, but quickly dismissed the thought. The Slayer didn't apologize to a vampire.

"Hey Buff?" Dawn called as she stepped into the room. "Can I talk to you a sec?"

Buffy took one last glimpse of the sunrise before turning to her sister with a smile. "Of course Dawnie, what's up?"

"I kinda overheard you last night... with Spike," she said, sitting down on the bed.

Buffy sighed. "It had nothing to do with you."

"Well I just want you to know that I don't mind him being around, if that's why you did it. I mean, I know he's a vampire and all, but he's different Buffy. He went all bodyguard when you were... gone," she said softly. "And at first it was totally annoying, but I kinda got used to it, you know? So, just, don't exile him... please?"

Buffy sat down beside her younger sister and wrapped an arm around her. "It's a bit more complicated that that Dawn. I didn't really mean _ever_, more like for a while. But he'll still be around, you'll see him."

Dawn nodded. "I guess. But you know what I think would be cool? If he maybe... moved in?"

Buffy laughed. "Spike, move in? I don't think so. Listen Dawn, I know that he's your... friend, but that just isn't going to happen."

"Well it was worth a try, don't cha think?" she asked and Buffy smiled. "Hey, at least I made you laugh."

Buffy smiled. "By a ridiculous request. That's like asking, why don't you just marry him? Cause - ew."

"Oh come on, like you don't find him the _least_ bit attractive?" Dawn asked with a teasing smile. "There's that whole slayer-vampire connection."

Buffy raised an eyebrow at her sister. "Yeah, the whole stake through the heart connection. Aren't you supposed to be getting ready for school?"

"You didn't answer my question..."

"And I don't have to," Buffy said, pulling her sister up and guiding her to the door. "Now go."

"I'm going, I'm going," Dawn said as she walked down the hallway to her room. "But you totally think he's hot!" she yelled after her sister.

Buffy rolled her eyes as she walked back into her own room and shut the door. So much for a peaceful sunrise.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: Thank you so much for the reviews :) Even if I only get one or two, it still makes me smile and then I want to write :) I hope you guys enjoy this, I'm trying to have it finished by the end of the month, so there will be updates often!

* * *

Buffy didn't know how long she had been punching the bag that hung in the back room of the Magic Box - she guessed a long time. Whatever feelings she was experiencing were driving her mad, and the only way she knew how to feel better was to hit something. Unfortunately, it wasn't having its normal effect. She was so confused, she didn't know how to feel. One minute she would be laughing with Spike, the next telling him to leave. Was there something wrong with her? I mean, two vampires? It wasn't natural - it was like oil and water - they didn't mix.

But her mind just wouldn't let go, and her heart followed.

"Buffy?"

Willow's voice pulled her out of her trance. She quickly shook her arms out before grabbing a nearby water bottle.

"What's up Will?" she asked.

"Dawn's school just called..."

"Is everything okay, what did they say?" Buffy asked, her panic rising.

"Oh no, she's fine. It's just... well they need you to go pick her up," Willow said uncomfortably.

"Will, you're scaring me. Did they tell you what happened?"

Willow nodded. "Uh, yeah... so, she got in a fight. But I'm sure the other girl provoked it, Dawnie isn't a provoker, she's more of a provokee."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Uh huh."

"Buffy, Tara and I were thinking, if you didn't mind, that we'd take Connor to the park for the rest of the day. We can have him back for supper, and you know, watch him while you patrol and stuff. The Hellmouth's been quiet lately, maybe he's our goodluck charm," she said with a smile to brighten the mood.

Buffy nodded. "That'd be a great help Willow. I have a feeling there will be a long talk going on when I get my hands on Dawn. If it even gets that far. I swear, she just doesn't get it."

"I know you're frustrated, but give her a chance. At least let her tell you her side of the story. You know, I remember this girl I went to school with - she burned down her high school gym, real baddie that one."

Buffy sighed. "Okay, I see your point. I'll let her explain but if the girl was not a vampire then all bets are off."

* * *

Buffy sat on her bed, head in her hands as she tried to pull herself together. Dawn had explained her side of the story - she had been standing in the lunch line when the 'most popular, spoiled bitch" in school began to tease her about things Buffy couldn't keep up with. So Dawn did what any Summers woman would do - she punched her. Although Buffy was upset with her younger sister, she knew how she felt. After all, how many times had she wanted to punch Cordelia when she was in high school? But ultimately she had to punish her, and grounded Dawn to the house for one week, on top of being suspended from school for three days.

Buffy had been grateful for the small break that her best friends had given her. It had been a month since she asked Spike not to come back, and he hadn't. And things just hadn't been the same. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, life had been a lot easier when he was around. Even the simple things, like getting supper together, seemed to be easier when he was around to entertain Connor and help Dawn with her schoolwork. One night he had even run a warm bubble bath for her to relax in while he settled the kids in for the night. She had of course protested it, because it seemed a little too romantic for their "relationship", but in the end had given in to temptation.

Who would've thought a vampire who was once her enemey would now be her only sanctuary from the insanity that was her life? She sure hadn't.

So she sat there, debating on how to solve her dilema, and if she even should. She had considered going to Spike's and apologizing, but her pride was standing in the way. She didn't know how to overcome her emotions, they were taking control of her.

Every since Connor came into her life she'd been on an emotion rollercoaster. Her feelings for Spike scared her, and now what scared her most was that she _wanted_ to tell him. She _wanted_ him back.

The hard part was letting herself do it. She told herself to do it for Connor and Dawn, and less for her. Although it would be more for her than anyone if he came back. But no one else had to know that.

Buffy glanced at the alarm clock before standing up. Good, she still had a couple hours before Connor would be home.

* * *

"Spike?" Buffy called as she slipped into his crypt. He appeared from the lower level and tiled his head in confusion. "Good, you're here."

"As opposed to bein' out there... in the sunlight," he said, heading to the fridge.

"Right... Listen, I wanted to say... that Dawn and Connor really miss you coming around," she started. "And, I didn't really mean what I said... It had been a long day and..."

He looked up at her. "You don't need to explain anything to me luv. I wouldn't understand you anyway, nothin' you ever say makes much sense."

She glared at him. "Well don't be all appreciative of my apology or anything."

Spike laughed. "You call that an apology?"

"Well, when it comes to you, yeah. You're lucky I'm here at all."

"Really now? And how do you figure that Slayer?"

Buffy hesistated, trying to come up with some kind of witty remark, and all she managed to say was, "Cause I don't like you."

He laughed as he sat down in his chair. "Right. We all knew that, didn't we? That all you came here for, to declare your dislike?"

Buffy sighed. "Unfortunately, no. I meant what I said Spike, they miss you. So, if you want to stop by like you were, that'd be... okay."

He eyed her. "What you're trying to say here Slayer, is that you don't mind me comin' 'round to help you with the hard stuff. But I better bugger off when you get too cozy with havin' a vamp over, that 'bout right?"

Buffy shook her head as she backed away to the door. "Why did I even bother? I must be losing my mind..."

"Not gonna argue there," he teased, standing up to follow her.

"I... I don't love you, I _can't_ love you. You're... you're Spike," she mumbled.

"I never told you to love me Slayer," he said, his curiousity growing. "What are you mumblin' 'bout?"

Buffy looked up at him, her eyes wide. "I never expected in a million years to have these... feelings... They're all in there, squirming around like little bugs. I hate it - I hate you. I hate everything about you Spike." She sighed before whispering. "So why do I love you?"

Spike stood still, staring at her. What just happened? She had spoken those three words about _him_ - ones he had never expected to_ hear_. He was frozen in shock.

She looked at him, almost ashamed of what she had just said. "Well, say... something. I already feel like a complete idiot. Me, love you," she said with a laugh.

Spike approached her, standing only a few inches away. "Are you sure 'bout what you're sayin' Buffy? Red 'asn't gone all crazy with the 'let my will be done' thing, 'as she?"

"Why? Did you stop-..."

"Buffy, I'll never stop lovin' you. It's just kind of a shock to a vamp, the Slayer confessin' her love," he said and she frowned.

"I was so not confessing... just mumbling."

Spike smirked. "Right. What I'm tryin' to say here pet, is that what you just mumbled was somethin' I only ever dreamnt of happenin'. I never thought..."

Buffy shrugged. "Life just loves to torture me with all these wrong and confusing and insane feelings."

"Shh," he whispered as he looked down into Buffy's eyes, searching for her approval, before kissing her softly.

* * *

So I threw in a little "I Hate Everything About You" line cause it's pretty much Spike and Buffy's song, eh?


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: Thank you all for the reviews :) I really enjoy hearing that you guys like the story, cause after all, if there were no reviews, there'd be no point in posting now would there? ;) Ideas and plans are swirling around in my head, so things will start to pick up soon.

* * *

Buffy hadn't planned on confessing her love to Spike - it had just kind of slipped out. She was going to keep up the charade of Dawn and Connor missing him, but he had made her so angry. And when she got fired up, she lost complete control of of everything.

She thought she'd regret it, she thought she'd feel ashamed. But when he had kissed her, everything had melted away - including her. She never thought his kiss would make her feel so good. Sure, they'd shared one before - but that was before one important thing... Connor. Who knew such a small person could bring two natural enemies together in something so unexpected?

Ever since the special evening in his crypt, Spike had been coming by more often. He would stop by every night after patrol, and ended up staying all night a few times. So far nothing had gone further than a very intimate kiss. Buffy just wasn't ready to take that step yet, and she knew Spike would wait for her. The security of it all made her feel safe and content. She knew that no matter what she might do to him, he would always love her. And most important to her, he would always love Dawn and Connor.

It had been a month since that night, and things were really starting to fit into place. There was just one thing that she was contemplating...

Spike was upstairs putting Connor down while Buffy cleaned up the kitchen after supper. She was waiting for him in the living room when he came back down.

"Spike, can we talk?" she asked and he nodded as he sat down with her on the sofa. "So I was thinking... you're here an awful lot, after patrol and sometimes you even spend the night."

"Too much?" he asked and she shook her head. "Then what is it luv?"

"Well... I was thinking that maybe you should just, you know, move in." The way he looked at her in complete surprise made her smile. "It's just, Dawn wants you to, she already voiced her opinion on it, and I think it'd be good for Connor to have you around that much more."

Spike nodded. "And what about you Slayer?"

She glanced down to the floor. "I, uh, wouldn't mind it. But there would be no bed sharing - you can have mom's room, it isn't very... vampire-ish, but it's a room."

Spike smiled softly. "It'd be perfect luv - whatever room or garage I'd be sleeping in - it'd be perfect. Of course, if I'm to be makin' this my place of residence, there's one real important thing you 'aven't mentioned." She looked at him, confused, and he smirked. "Wouldn't feel right if I didn't help you out with the finances and all. Whatever you need Buffy, you tell me."

Buffy smiled as she rested her head against his shoulder. "Why does this is all feel so right? I mean, it's you - I thought I'd be all, "OMG - Spike"... but it's not. It feels right." He kissed her forehead softly. "You feel right," she said.

Spike reached over and took her hand in his. "And you, my love, feel tired."

"Hey, how'd you know?"

He smirked down at her. "You don't hide it well Slayer. Come on, I'll get you up to bed."

She looked up at him, her eyes narrowing. "This isn't some way to get into my room, is it?"

"I live 'ere now, I can be in your room whenever I wanna be."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Why do I have a feeling I'm going to regret this?"

He stood and quickly swept her into his arms. "Oh I'll make certain you don't regret a thing kitten."

* * *

Over the next few days, Spike made the transition from his crypt to the Summers' house. He didn't have many material objects, mainly just his mini fridge stocked with blood.

After a little thought, he had declined Buffy's offer to sleep in her mother's room and decided instead on bringing a cot down to the basement. He was suited for dark and dank, not lively and comfortable. Besides, something just didn't sit right with him by taking Joyce's room, like it was a breach of her privacy.

Buffy had broken the news to Dawn the night before he moved in, and after the intial shock of her big sister actually _letting_ him do it set in, she was excited. Spike assumed it was because she would have her nail polish test dummy around 24/7 now. As much of a pain Dawn could be, he really cared for her. When Buffy had died he had sworn to himself that he would do anything to protect her. In the beginning it had been for the Slayer, but once he began to start spending more and more time with Dawn, it had changed to something different - he had _wanted_ to protect her, Buffy or not.

Maybe he could help out with the mini Summers. When Buffy had filled him in on the incident at school, he had tried his best to mask his pride - she had clearly not been impressed. He himself wasn't one for rules, but apparently Buffy was when it concerned her baby sister. So he would try his best to go against his natural instincts and aid in finding Dawn other ways to cope with her anger - he thought he'd start with some fighting lessons.

Buffy's gang of friends, or as Spike preferred to call them, "the Scoobies", still were unaware of the new change. And as much as he wanted to rub it in their faces, he chose to keep quiet and let Buffy tell them on her own time. He knew she wasn't ready for them to know about the two of them just yet, and he wouldn't rush her. He could tell that she was having a hard time accepting her feelings, but she was on her way and that was good enough for him.

The reality of it all had only just started to click in his mind. Buffy, the Slayer, had gone to his crypt and told him those three words he _never_ thought he'd hear - I love you. Since then, there had been a couple times when she had pulled away from him, but he had always managed to bring her back. He was a vampire - a few hurtful words here and there were not enough to get rid of him. Nothing was, not with Buffy.

"Spike, you down there?" Buffy asked from the top of the basement stairs. Spike appeared at the bottom a few seconds later. "Good. Listen, I was thinking about going out for a couple hours. Nothing serious, just a good ol' trip to the Bronze with the gang. Would you mind keeping an eye on Dawn and Connor?"

Spike walked up the steps and stopped in front of her, kissing her lightly on the lips. "Sure thing luv. 'S long as you aren't goin' out to find yourself a nice human bloke."

She smiled. "While that thought is tempting, apparently humans don't count... and besides, a Slayer needs a little monster in her man... or at least that's what I've been told."

Spike smirked down at her. "An' who told you that pet?"

She shrugged. "I think it might have been this vampire I knew, he was kinda cocky, bleached hair, lets a fifteen year old paint his finger nails. Sound familiar?"

"Now that you mention it, yeah, does kinda sound familiar. And 'ey, that fifteen year old is bloody well good with the paint," he said. "You can go, but on one condition."

Buffy put her hand on her hip and let out an exagerrated sigh. "Come on then, lets hear it."

Spike wrapped his arms around her wait and pulled her into him, a surprised gasp escaping her mouth. "Well, for doin' my duty as caretaker, I fully intend on collectin' some sort of payment." His gaze lingered on her lips before returning to her eyes. "What you got to offer me Slayer?"

Buffy brushed her lips up against his before gently nipping on his ear. "A taste... of heaven."

"Heaven, eh? Pleasant as it sounds, still not convinced."

She planted kisses along his neck. "You haven't tasted a slice of Buffy heaven - you've barely touched the gates." She could feel his arousal against her as she swayed her hips against his. "You sure feel convinced now, eh?" she mocked.

He smirked. "A little too convinced luv - you best stay home an' give me that taste."

She shook her head and slowly backed away from him. "Deal is I go, you get." He let out an unimpressed groan and she smiled. "You've been waiting how long for me Spike, a year, maybe more? I think you can wait a few hours... I'm sure Dawn will give you a manicure, oh, and she might even throw in a pedicure just this once," she teased.

He faked a laugh. "Oh hah bloddy hah. Play poke the Spike all you want Slayer, I know you don't mean it..."

She laughed. "Just cause I said... that, doesn't mean I still don't enjoy "poking" you. That, that will never get old."

Spike opened his mouth to comment, but was cut short when Dawn walked into the kitchen, Connor in her arms.

"Hey guys," she said cheerfully as she passed Connor to Buffy. "What's up?"

Buffy gently bounced Connor on her chest as she whispered comforting words in his ear. Spike looked over at Dawn. "Looks like I'm your babysitter for tonight."

She groaned. "Do you _have_ to call it that? It makes me sound like a... a baby."

Spike laughed. "Fine then Bit, how 'bout "teensitter"?"

Dawn shrugged. "You get an A for effort. So what's with the watching? Do we have a baddy?"

Buffy shook her head. "No, just a regular old night out with the gang."

Dawn nodded. "Ohh, I get it."

"Get what?" Buffy asked with an eyebrow raised.

"You're going out to try and pretend like you and Spike aren't making with the smoochies. Sounds like denial to me," she said as she opened the fridge. "God Buff, have you heard of a grocery store?"

"Me and Spike are so not -..."

"Oh please. You might still think of me as your five year old little sister, but I'm grown now... well, pretty much grown, and I know things... I hear things."

"What? That's ridiculous, you can't hear us... talking," Buffy said, catching herself mid sentence.

"De-Ni-Al," Dawn sung as she grabbed her snack and headed for the stairs. "Oh Spike, I almost forgot - I got this really awesome nail polish at the mall with Janice the other day and-..."

Spike sighed. "I'll be up soon Bit." She nodded before leaving. "This whole polishin' thing is gettin' a little out of control."

Buffy smiled as she held Connor out for Spike to take. "Thank you... for putting up with her."

"Believe me luv, I've put up with a lot worse. Aren't you supposed to be somewhere 'bout now? I want you back soon so I can enjoy that slice of Buffy heaven I've been promised," he said with a smirk.

"I'm going, I'm going," she said, leaning over to kiss Connor's cheek. "Bye Connor, I'll be home soon, I promise... take good care of Spike for me."

He glared at her. "Hah bloody hah - just keep 'em comin'."

Buffy smiled before leaning over and kissing him softly on the lips. "Oh I've got plenty more where those came from. Are you sure you're okay with house duty?"

Spike nodded. "Course. Almost makes a vamp feel like he's doin' somethin' right... somethin' human."

"You're more human then you think Spike," she said, and with one more smile, left.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note: Okay, so this is where things may get a tad confusing for ya'll. I don't know much about the timeline for Angel, I actually don't know much about Angel aside from watching it off and on. I kind of gave up when Connor came into it and lost touch until season 5. But I'm trying, so bare with me on this. Basically, Angel, Cordy, Wesley, Gunn and Fred are all living in the hotel. Wesley and Fred are together, Angel and Cordy _were_ together but aren't now. Oh, and pretty much everything with Darla/Angel/Connor, I'm winging it. That's pretty much all you need to know to get where I'm going.

* * *

The hotel was quiet that night. Just like it had been since Angel first got "sick". At least, that's what they were calling it. When Darla had come back into his life, he had become obsessed; and when she killed herself, he had gone completely insane. It had almost been like Angelus had taken over again, but Angel's soul was well intact.

Before Darla killed herself, she had given birth to her and Angel's son. Wesley had thought it would be best for Connor if he was taken somewhere safe to be raised by someone who could be trusted - Buffy. So, that's what he had done.

He was back in LA now, and had been for a few months. Angel's condition hadn't progressed any since the day he left, and he wondered every night if it ever would. Wesley had known Angel for a fairly long time - from back when he was given the post of Buffy's new Watcher. In all those years he had never seen the souled vampire go to such an intense and dark state.

It was different from the loss of his soul - this time it had been connected to his sanity instead of his humanity. Although that seemed to have been lost along the way as well.

Welsey was running out of ideas for a cure. He had tried almost everything he knew in his years as a Watcher, and nothing had even a slight affect on Angel. The rest of their group had tried as well, but still nothing.

Wesley only hoped time would help reveal a source of help, or maybe even simply bring Angel around to his senses.

But Wesley's main concern had been Connor. His safety was of the upmost importance. If Angel was for some reason to escape the dungeon in the basement, Buffy would be the only one with the power to protect the innocent boy. There was no telling what Angel would do - kill him, or protect him.

Nothing was for certain.

"Wesley, there you are," Fred said as she walked up to him. He had been in Angel's office, searching through a stack of books he had ordered from England after his weekly call to Buffy, updating her on Angel's unchanging condition. "I've been looking all over for you."

He looked up at her from the mess of scattered books and papers. "And you never thought to look here? Where I've been researching for the past three days?" he snapped and the hurt expression that crossed her face made him frown. "I'm terribly sorry Fred, I haven't been getting much sleep. Forgive me, please."

She smiled down at him. Her smile had the power to make all of his troubles disappear, if only for a brief moment. "I understand, we've all been kinda crabby lately. But I think I might have found something."

"Oh?"

"I'm still looking into it, but it seems to be an ancient cure that was used hundreds of years ago to help cure, well, crazy people. I know Angel isn't crazy, but it's worth a shot, right?"

He nodded with a soft smile. "Of course. Please, let me know if anything comes of it. How... how is he?"

Fred sighed. "Not good. I went down to bring him his meal and he was tucked away in the corner mumbling on and on about The Powers That Be and... Connor."

Wesley nodded. "Alright then, I best go down and check in on him myself."

"And I'll go find out as much as I can about the cure. I'll let you know when I find something useful."

He smiled as he stood and approached her, gently touching her face. "Where would I be without you?"

She shrugged. "You'd be right where you are now. Helping Angel and never giving up."

He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I'm not so sure, I may just be as well of as Angel if you were not here with me Fred."

She smiled up at him brightly. "You should get down there, and I have work to do."

Wesley nodded. "Right then, carry on."

He watched as she disappeared before heading down to the holding area in the basement of the hotel. In the past they had used it to contain demons of sorts, but now one of their own was battling a very different kind of demon - their inner one.

Once downstairs, Wesley stopped infront of the cell that Angel was locked in, watching his friend for a few moments. He was still huddled in the corner like Fred had described, and he appeared to be mumbling things, but Wesley couldn't understand.

"Angel?" he asked, just like he always did. The response was always the same - nothing. "Angel, Fred is working on a way to get you out of here as we speak." Or, as _he_ spoke.. "I'm confident that this will be it and you'll be back with us soon enough." As confident as he was the last time he said it - two nights ago. And the time before that - three nights ago... there had been so many times, he'd lost count... and confidence.

"I'm sad to see you like this my friend. Despite our past differences, this is not right for someone of your nature to be... be tortured in such a way. I only wish that we had come across an aid earlier on, but it seemed we hit quite the dry spell, and only now is there a bit of hope. Fred is a brilliant woman, if she believes that this may be the final solution, then I too believe it..." Wesley sighed as he sat on the small wooden chair that rested against the wall beside the cell. "You're strong Angel, I have no doubt that you'll pull through this and return to your former self. You just need to believe tha-..."

Wesley was interrupted when Angel stood and with great speed rushed at the cell bars, gripping them fiercely and screaming loudly. Shaken, Wesley jumped from the chair and backed slowly against the wall.

"Angel?"

No response, only a vicious growl. And just as quickly as it had started, it ended. Angel returned to his spot in the corner, and Wesley stood still as stone. He had faith in Fred, but his own hope was fading. If this lead that she had was just another failure, he wasn't sure how much longer he could play the game.

He wanted to believe. He wanted to have confidence.

But nothing was for certain.

* * *

Just a short glimpse into what's going on in LA.


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: Thank you sooooo much for the kind reviews, I'm loving it :) I'm trying to draw this story out as long as I can, as far as Spike and Buffy go and all that, but it's hard because I'm kind of on a time limit before there won't be hardly any updates - I start my first year of university on September 8th, so yeah... doubt I'll have much time to focus on writing. So I'm sorry if it's a tad rushed, but I hope you guys still enjoy it! Oh, and as I'm sure you all know, the two songs included in this chapter do not belong to me :) One belongs to Lady Antebellum (?), and the other Babyface!

Buffy hung up the phone in the kitchen after her weekly update with Wesley about Angel's condition. Apparently there had been no change, which didn't come as much a surprise - she'd been hearing it for the three months she'd had Connor. Still, she had hope that Angel would pull through. Despite her new found feelings for Spike, Angel would always be her first true love, and her connection to him was strong. She wanted him safe.

She had even gone as far as to consider making a trip up to LA to see if she would be able to bring him out of it. But she knew she was where she was needed. She wasn't willing to risk Connor's safety on an attempt at helping Angel, one that would probably end in failure anyway.

Buffy was fixing supper, Connor safely in his bassinet in the living room, when the basement door opened and Dawn emerged, Spike behind her.

"Hey Buff, whatcha cooking?" Dawn asked, sitting down on one of the stools.

"Oh, just some chicken and past-... why are you all sweaty?" Buffy asked, looking from her younger sister to Spike.

"Spike was teaching me how to fight. He's really good."

"You were what? Wow, this has to be your most brilliant idea yet," Buffy said sarcastically.

"'s not what you think luv, I was just teachin' Bit how to defend herself. 'sides, wouldn't you rather her be beatin' the crap out of a bag in the basement then that bird at school? I'd say it's a bloody brilliant idea," he said, and she sighed.

"Yeah, and anyways, he made me take this completely lame oath about not using violence to solve my problems, and whatever he teaches me doesn't leave the basement unless I absolutely _have_ to defend myself, blah blah blah. I mean, hello, vampire alert... talk about hypocritical," Dawn said, rolling her eyes.

Buffy again looked from Dawn to Spike before smiling. "Okay, I guess I might have overreacted... thank you for trying to help. But just, keep it basic - no blood shed."

Spike nodded. "Course... an' there was only blood that once." He watched in amusement as Buffy's eyes grew wide before laughing lightly. "I'm kiddin' Slayer, relax."

"So not a joke," she scolded and he smirked. "But I'll let you off with a warning."

"A strict one I hope," he teased.

Dawn stood. "Now is the time that the teenager goes and gets a shower to get away from the ick that is you two."

"Supper will be ready in twenty minutes," Buffy informed and her little sister nodded before leaving. "Look at what you did, you scared her away."

Spike smirked as he moved to stand behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist as he nuzzled her neck. "You're quite welcome pet," he whispered.

She turned in his hold to face him, sending him a defiant glare. "I didn't thank you."

"Oh you will," he said before kissing her.

His lips felt so good against hers, she would never tire of his touch. Everytime they kissed it felt like the first time over and over again. Still, something nagged at her on the inside - guilt, shame. Dawn might have her suspicions, but it wasn't her that Buffy was worried about. It was her friends. They would never accept her being with Spike, and then there was the whole fact that he was living in her basement... Oh God.

Buffy broke the kiss and pushed Spike away roughly. "I can't do this," she mumbled as she turned back to making supper.

He returned to his place behind her. "Can't do what luv - mutitask?"

"What? No. This... You... Any of it. I keep picturing their faces if they ever found out... how can I be with someone that my friends hate? No wait, scratch that - despise. Someone _I _used to despise."

He sighed against her neck, and that only made her want to kiss him more. "Then don't tell 'em. What the Scoobies don't know can't hurt 'em, right?"

"I can't just not tell them Spike... I mean, sooner or later they're gonna notice. You're living in my basement, remember? What if they go looking for you one day and they find your crypt empty? Maybe they might think you left town, but hello, you're still creeping around," she said.

"Then tell 'em."

"I can't do that! They'd think I was crazy... maybe I am. Maybe we'd all be better off if I locked myself in a cage like Angel." She heard Spike let out a low growl before moving away from her. She turned to find him opening the back door, halfway out. "Spike, wait."

He turned to face her, his eyes dark and dangerous. "Wait for what Buffy? For you to bloody well open your heart and let me in? You were right luv, I've been waiting a long time for you... too long."

"What... What are you saying?" she asked, surprising herself at the worried tone in her voice.

He sighed. "I'm saying that when you bloody well realize what you want from me, you know where I'll be. An' as much as I may love you Slayer, a bloke's gotta know when to count 'is losses an' move on. Since I'm the one leavin', feel free to skip around with your band of merry men guilt free... if you even remember what guilt soddin' feels like."

"Spike, I..." she started, but he was already gone.

Maybe he would come back. Maybe _he_ would apologize for the things he said. Who was she kidding? He wasn't coming back until she told him things she didn't know if she could. Why was it so hard for her to let go? She had denied her feelings for Spike at the beginning, but the way he made her feel... the way he kissed her that first night had pushed through any second thoughts she had.

But he couldn't understand her dilema. He didn't care about anyone - well, aside from her, Dawn and Connor. Buffy _needed_ her friends, they were the only family she had left. She wasn't willing to lose them, but was she willing to lose Spike?

"Buffy? Buffy, are you okay?"

Willow's voice pulled her away from her thoughts. They were at the park with Connor, sitting on a spread out blanket as the three and a half month old played on his tummy.

"Huh? Oh, yeah... I'm fine, just thinking. You know me, always with the thinking," she said, glancing to Connor. "Look how happy he is... he is happy, right, it's not just gas?"

Willow smiled. "Of course he's happy Buffy, you're doing an amazing job with him... You just get it, the whole mother thing, you're a natural. And hey, it helps that he's a total cutie, huh?"

Buffy laughed. "A natural, me, you really think? Cause here I am, full on winging it girl, no idea what so ever... Spike is kinda the baby brain."

Willow's stunned look told Buffy that what she had planned to think had instead managed to come out in words. "Spike?... You mean, he helps?"

Buffy sighed. "No. Well, yes, he was... but I kind of made him stop. I know it sounds completely wacko, but he was really great with Connor... and Dawn."

"Buffy, if I didn't know you, I'd say you liked him. You don't like him, do you?"

"Of course not! Jeez Will, you sure now how to ruin a Slayer's appetite," Buffy said, knowing her words were lies. "He's just... conveniant. I mean, he'd do anything I asked him to... like, anything. But I don't... ask him, for anything..." she said, praying that Willow wouldn't catch on to how nervous she was talking about Spike.

"Riight," Willow said with a confused smile. "On to less awkward conversation - I think Xander's going to propose to Anya! How exciting is that?"

Buffy forced herself to smile. It wasn't that she wasn't interested in talking about Xander, it was just that her mind would only focus on one stupid, sexy thing - Spike.

As if Buffy hadn't been anxious enough just being around her friends since Spike, now she had to worry about what Willow was thinking. Their most recent conversation two days ago at the park had not gone as smoothly as intended, and Buffy would be shocked if Willow didn't think _something_ was up. That was why she had been trying her best to avoid her redheaded friend.

At least she knew one person would never hate her for her decisions - well, not in the near future anyways. And that person was her little Connor.

He was asleep in his crib that was up in her bedroom while she cleaned up downstairs. Dawn was working on her homework in her bedroom and for the time everything was peaceful. A little too peaceful. So Buffy decided to turn on the radio in the kitchen as she worked, hoping to cheer herself up. Instead...

"...I pretend that I'm glad you went away  
These four walls closing more every day  
And I'm dying inside  
And nobody knows it but me  
Like a clown I put on a show  
The pain is real even if nobody knows  
And I'm crying inside  
And nobody knows it but me

Why didn't I say the things I needed to say  
How could I let my angel get away  
Now my world is just a-tumblin' down  
I can say it so clearly but you're nowhere around..."

With a frustrated growl, she quickly changed the station...

"...All that I'm after is a life full of laughter  
As long as I'm laughing with you  
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after  
After the life we've been through  
'Cause I know there's no life after you..."

"Ugh - Spike!" she cursed, slamming her hand down on the radio, only to have it shatter under her strength. "Stupid songs... stupid Slayer strength... stupid Spike..."

Just as she bent down to pick up the pieces of what had once been the radio, a piercing scream filled the once again silent house. Buffy left the mess and bolted up the stairs to find Dawn standing in her bedroom, staring at the crib.

"Dawn, what's wrong?" she asked, stopping behind her sister.

"Buffy, he isn't moving... he isn't... I just came in to check on him, I swear. I always do before I go to bed and he wasn't moving," she said in a panic.

Buffy rushed over to the crib and bent down, scooping Connor's small body into her arms. She placed him gently on her bed and examined him to find the same thing Dawn had - he wasn't breathing.

"Call an ambulance!" she yelled to her younger sister as she started to perform CPR.

Buffy was no stranger to desperate situations. She had died twice herself. But this, with Connor, this was different. He was innocent, he had never hurt anyone, never done anything wrong - he hadn't been given the chance to. The thought of losing him made her heart ache and her pulse quicken. She was careful not to hurt him, she knew her strength was too much for the little boy. After all, she had cracked one of her mother's ribs when she had tried giving her CPR.

Buffy pulled away and looked down at him closely. She could see the faint rise and fall of his chest and let out a sigh of relief. But she knew it was far from over.

She was scared to touch him or move him. She didn't want to make it worse. So she sat there, staring at him, completely lost in her own world. She didn't see the room, she didn't hear anyone come in. She never saw Dawn, or the paramedics until they started to work on Connor.

She felt Dawn try to pull her back gently, but Buffy never moved - not until Connor did.

Buffy hated hospitals. She had seen so much suffering and death, she hated to be there. But she had to be, Connor needed her - and _she_ needed _him_.

"Buffy? Buff?"

She turned to her little sister and sent her a comforting smile, even though she didn't feel very comforted herself. When they had gotten to the hospital, the paramedics had taken Connor where her and Dawn were not allowed to follow. Buffy had no choice but to trust the doctors, the same ones who couldn't help her mother.

"Why don't you go find something to eat?" she asked blankly.

Dawn shook her head. "I don't feel very hungry..."

"Me either Dawnie... me either."

"I wish Spike was here," Dawn whispered and Buffy gently wrapped an arm karound her, pulling her into a hug.

"Me too."

Spike knew he was stupid. Buffy had kicked him out. Well, maybe not literally, but she had sure pushed him to leaving. But he had to check on her and the little ones, he always did. Every night after he did his usual sweep, he stood by the tall oak tree in front of the Summers' house and watched. Some might call it stalking or spying... but he meant them no harm. He only wanted them to be safe.

However, that night, no one was home. Like every evening before, at that time Buffy was usually cleaning the downstairs while Dawn did her homework in her bedroom and Connor slept.

The lights were on, but the house was still.

Something stirred in his gut. This wasn't right. If Buffy had gone out, she would've shut off the lights and locked the door. She knew money was scarce, she wouldn't want her bills any higher.

And Spike knew that she wouldn't go anywhere this late - not with Connor and Dawn.

He took one last look at the house before turning and walking away. Maybe they were at the Scoobies.

Spike had searched every place he figured Buffy would be - Xander and Anya's, Tara and Willow's, even the Watcher's... but there was no sign of the small family.

His pace quickened as he headed towards his last resort - Sunnydale General.

The moment he stepped into the hospital, Buffy's familiar scent filled Spike's head. He followed it in a rush, his worry rising at the thought of one of the three people he loved more than anything lying in a hospital bed hurt, or worse.

It didn't take long to find her. She was sitting in the waiting room, her arms wrapped around Dawn in an attempt to comfort her - it didn't look to be working. But if they were out there, Connor must be...

"Spike!" Dawn yelled when she noticed him standing a few feet away. She jumped from her seat next to Buffy and ran into his arms. He hugged her tightly. "Spike, how did you know?"

He looked down at Dawn and gently wiped away a few stray tears. "I 'ad a bad feeling... what happened?"

"I went in to check on Connor, cause I always do before I go to bed, but he... he wasn't moving. Buffy did CPR and I called an ambulance... I..."

"Shh Bit, 's alright. Go 'ave a seat while I talk to Big Sis, and then we'll go hunt down some snacks," he said and she nodded before heading back to her seat.

Buffy stood when she realized Spike was standing over her. He pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head softly.

"He was so still," she mumbled. "I... I did CPR, and he started breathing, and the paramedics came, and... he's alive, but they don't know if he'll..."

"Shh, shh. Kid's tough, he'll pull through Buffy, you watch," he whispered against her ear.

She shook her head weakly. "You don't know that..."

"I know a lot more than you think luv, vamp doesn't live 'hundred plus years bein' an idiot. He'll be okay, even if it means I 'ave to kill a few Docs in the meantime," he said, and she smiled briefly. "Now, you should go give your friends a ring and let 'em know. You need 'em here with you. I'll take Bit and make sure she gets somethin' to eat... try and take 'er mind off things."

Buffy nodded against his chest, then looked up into his eyes, tears falling freely down her face. "Spike, about what I said, how I acted..."

"'s over with now, no need to worry your pretty little 'ead 'bout such foolish things. You need to keep strong for Connor, he needs you."

She nodded. "I need him too... and I need yo-..."

"Shh, we'll talk 'bout that later," he said, and she smiled softly before letting him go. "We'll be back soon, you'll be alright?"

She nodded again, then watched as he left with Dawn before heading for the payphone.


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: Okay, so I'm from Canada, which means I have noo idea how the healthcare system works down in the States. I know you have to pay for things if insurance doesn't cover it (at least I assume), but I don't know how much things typically cost, so I'm just guessing here.

PS: The last chapter had two songs, and one wasn't from Lady Antebellum, it was Daughtry. Originally, I was going to use their song but decided to go with Daughtry cause it is after all the title of the story lol

* * *

Buffy and Spike sat side by side in the waiting room of the children's department in the hospital. Dawn sat across from them, half asleep as she flipped through a magazine with little interest.

Giles, Xander, Anya, Willow and Tara were all on their way and were expected to be there at any time. Buffy didn't know how long Connor would have to stay, but she had no intention of leaving him, and she knew Spike didn't either. That's why she hoped Willow might take Dawn for the night. The fifteen year old desperately wanted to stay, but Buffy couldn't allow her to miss any more time - they were already treading thin waters with not only the school board, but social services.

As the doctor made his way over to the silent three, Buffy stood immediately, Spike right behind her.

"Are you the parents?" he asked, and Buffy looked to Spike before nodding.

"Yeah, yeah we are."

The doctor smiled. "Well, I'm afraid that your son has suffered from what we know as SIDs - Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. However, your quick response was able to revive him until the paramedics arrived, and after a few tests, we believe he will be fine. You are very lucky, had it been ten minutes later, it would have been too late."

Buffy felt herself smile as tears began to fall. "So, he's okay? He... there's nothing wrong? He can come home?"

"We'd like to keep him overnight for observation, and if all goes well, then there is no reason why he can't return home by morning."

Spike wrapped his arm around Buffy's waist, and she turned her body to his in a hug. She was overwhelmed with happiness that Connor was alright, she had been so scared that he might not make it. When she looked up into Spike's eyes she could see that he too was crying.

"I understand that this is a difficult time for you right now, but you will need to meet with the receptionist to discuss insurance."

"But, he... he doesn't have any," Buffy said softly.

"I see," the doctor said. "Perhaps-..."

"Cash alright Doc?" Spike asked, letting Buffy go to step forward.

"Well, the bill will be quite-..."

"Yeah yeah, answer the question mate."

The doctor nodded. "As long as payment can be made, there is no regard on how."

"Well then, lead the way."

As Spike moved to follow the doctor towards the receptionist's office, Buffy grabbed his arm to stop him.

"Spike, you can't... you don't have that kind of money... do you?"

He smirked down at her. "Let me take care of it luv, you go be with your sister."

After a moment of searching his eyes for _something_, she nodded and released her hold on him. She waited until he was out of sight before going to sit beside Dawn.

"Did you hear that Dawnie? You saved him," she said, hugging her.

Dawn looked up at Buffy, but sadness still covered her face. "He's like my baby brother Buffy, promise me that we'll never have to... to give him back."

"Oh Dawn, I can't... but we don't know if that will ever happen. And until it might, we'll love him like no one else can, okay?"

Dawn nodded. "All of us?"

Buffy smiled. "Yeah, _all_ of us."

"Buffy!"

The two Summers' looked up to see the gang coming towards them, Willow in the lead. They stood and Willow quickly wrapped her arms around both of them.

"How is he?" she asked when she pulled away.

"He's going to be fine," Buffy said.

"Oh thank God. We were all so worried. I know it's only been three months, but Connor's like a part of the family now, we all love him Buffy."

After exchanging hugs with everyone, Buffy seperated from her friends to go find Spike. Her stomach was in a knot of nerves, she wanted so bad to just hold his hand through all of this, but it wasn't the right time to tell them. When would it be?

When she saw him, he was leaning against the desk, chatting with the receptionist - no doubt using his Spike charm to get her to lower the cost.

Before she even got close to him, he turned to face her. "Ey pet, thought I couldn't 'andle it? No worries, Big Bad's bein' friendly."

She smiled, then her expression turned serious. "How much?"

He shrugged. "Nothin' I can't afford. Scoobies here?"

She nodded. "Yeah, they just got here. I'm going to ask Willow if she can take Dawn for the night, get her to school and stuff... She doesn't need to be here."

"I think tha's a good idea," he said, then sighed. "Guess it's my time to bugger off, eh?"

Buffy frowned. "I want to tell them Spike, I _will_ tell them... but this isn't the right time, not here. But I will. What happened with Connor opened my eyes. It might be insane, but I need you with me. When you aren't around all I can think about is you. It's like you... you infected me or something."

"Well if that doesn't make a bloke feel special..."

She shook her head. "I didn't mean it like ew... I meant it like wow... I'm the last person who saw this coming Spike, but I want it because... because I know there's no life after you," she said, her mind wandering to the song that cost her the radio earlier that night.

He smiled down at her with that look of pure love. "'s about time you realized. 's long as I know that your heart is in it, I'll play the part. Take all the time you need Slayer, I'm not gettin' any older."

"Aren't I the lucky one," she said, moving her body closer to his. "When all of this is over, I believe I still have a very strict warning to give you."

"You shouldn't tease me like that luv, not unless your up for one of 'em public displays of affection, as you humans like to call it. Myself, I prefer-..."

Buffy backed away from him slightly. "Message recieved loud and clear." She glanced back towards the waiting room. "I really should-..."

"Get back, yeah, you should. I'll catch up."

She nodded before reaching up on her tip toes and kissing his check softly. "Thank you."

He tilted his head in confused amusement. "For what pet?"

"For always being there, for taking care of us... well, I guess... for everything I never thanked you for before, and now."

He smiled. "I don't do what I do for the praise, I do it 'cause I want to."

She nodded. "I know. But that just makes it all the more important to thank you, doesn't it?"

"Alright then, since we're talkin' 'bout it... thank you Slayer, for savin' my ass, for savin' the world... for everythin'."

Buffy laughed. "Aren't you supposed to be going somewheres?"

"Tha's you luv, I said I'd catch up, didn't say I was movin'."

"Smartass," she said with a smile before turning and walking away. Spike watched her leave with a look of love covering his face - that was _his_ girl, _his_ Slayer.

Come to think of it, he did have somewhere to go.

* * *

Seeing Connor lying in a hospital crib with a variety of electrodes and cords attached to his small body sent chills down Spike's spine - and he _never_ got chills. In the three months that Buffy had been taking care of him, Connor had come to mean a lot to Spike. He had tried his best to help her with the demanding job, and according to Buffy he was pretty good at it.

He would do anything for the little boy, _anything_. The fact that he was biologically Angel's son had bothered him at first, but after spending time with Connor and getting to know him, he no longer cared who his real father had been - Spike was the one in the picture. And he would be until Buffy told him not to. Still, if that were to happen - like it had before - he would watch over Connor and the small family until his last breath... so to speak.

Spike felt her walk into the room, but he didn't turn until he felt _them_ with her. Buffy, Xander and Willow stood in the doorway to the room, Xander not looking so pleased.

"Spike? What the hell are you doing here?" he asked. "If this is your way of trying to get closer to Buffy, you're sicker than I thought." Spike let out a frustrated sigh before pushing past them and out the door. "Can you believe that guy?"

"Xander, it wasn't like that..." Buffy started, but cut herself off when she saw the look on his face that told her she'd be unable to convince him. "Do we really have to talk about Spike?"

"No, of course not Buffy," Willow said. "Connor's our priority, aren't you little guy?" she said as she gently traced his face as he slept.

"Right, of course," Xander said. "Besides Buff, we know you'd never be woed by Spike's pathetic-... alright, alright, I'm done."

"Will, would you mind taking Dawn tonight? I just... I don't want her to have to be here, she has school in the morning. And I know she probably won't want to go, but she needs to, really needs to..." Buffy asked and Willow smiled.

"Sure, we'll make it like a sleepover, all fun and stuff. We'll tell ghost stories, oh and paint each others nails - always a good time."

Buffy nodded, but her mind had drifted away to Spike. The expression on his face when Xander had said those things... Buffy felt like running after him, but she had no idea where he had gone. She hoped he'd come back, she needed him.

Poor Spike - Xander was clueless to how much he really loved Connor. She knew that he wasn't there for her, not in that room alone with him, he had been there for only one person, Connor.

"Any word on Angel?" Willow asked, pulling Buffy back to reality.

She shook her head. "Nothing any different, no. And in a way, I'm kinda glad. I'm a horrible, horrible person, I know... but if Angel gets better, he might come and take Connor... and I don't want that to happen. It _can't_ happen."

Willow wrapped a reassuring arm around her friend. "Whether Angel comes back or not, you'll never lose Connor... you're the only parent he knows."

Actually, she wasn't.


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note: There's only going to be maybe one or two more chapters before things pick up, cause I'm writing on a time limit here and I'm running out of it!

And _of course_, THANK YOU for the reviews :) I know I'm not the most amazing writer, and I definitely have room for improvement (as does everyone, right?), but I do this strictly for fun, and hope that I can entertain some people while doing it! So thanks again!

* * *

When Angel woke, his head was spinning and his vision was blurry. Even the dim lighting in the room had the ability to burn his eyes. His body was shaking, but he wasn't cold. His mind was a tangle of thoughts, but none of them made sense. He didn't remember where he was or how he had gotten to be there.

When he finally gained the strength to stand, he was taken back to find himself locked in a cell - a familiar one. After pausing to think for a moment, he realized he was in the basement of the Hyperion.

But how had he gotten down there? _Why_ was he there in the first place?

"Angel?"

He raised his head enough to see Wesley standing arm's length away from the cell, a stake in his hand.

"Wes... Wesley?"

"Dear God, it worked..." Wesley said as the stake fell from his hold. In the past four months, the ex-Watcher had been waiting for a response of any kind from his friend, and was desperately losing hope that he ever would. To hear even the slightest mumble of his name brought an instant smile to his face.

"What... What happened?"

"You don't remember? Not a thing?" Wesley asked, and the vampire shook his head. "Well, to put it bluntly, you went a tad bit looney on us Angel, we were all worried you would never pull through it."

"Gave up on me that easily Wes? I thought we were friends," Angel said, a small smile appearing on his face.

Wesley was surprised to find himself laugh a little. The past four months had definitely not been very funny, yet none of that seemed to matter anymore. They had accomplished what they feared to be impossible, they had saved Angel.

"I wish it had been that simple." Wesley unlocked the door to Angel's prison and watched as the vampire hesistated before stepping out. "Cordelia will be very pleased to see you well Angel, she of all of us, has taken this extremely hard."

He nodded. "How long was I... like this?"

Wesley sighed. "Four months and three days. But who's counting?"

"And Connor... is he... okay?"

Wesley had planned this speech months ago, expecting that one of Angel's first questions would regard his son. Now that the moment to speak it had arrived, he had forgotten nearly every word. Maybe he should have waited before he unlocked the door.

"He's gone," was all that managed to escape Wesley's mouth.

Angel's eyes darkened. "What do you mean _gone_?"

"I'm terribly sorry Angel, but Connor... well, he passed away in his sleep not long after you were... lost to us," he said softly. "The doctor said it's a quite common disorder among infants, they-..."

"You're telling me my son is dead?" Angel said, his face void of any expression other than hurt.

"I'm afraid so... It may comfort you to know that it was peaceful, he felt no pain, and-..."

"Comfort? Comfort Wesley, would be to hold my son in my arms, not listen to the details of his death," Angel said coldly.

"Please, Angel," Wesley said, but Angel had already disappeared. He stood, staring in the direction he had gone, as the guilt overtook him. How could he tell a man that his son was dead when he was perfectly healthy and living a wonderful life? And that was not the worst part. It was the _who_ - Buffy.

Wesley knew that if Angel found out his son was alive, and more so that his past love was caring for him, he'd take off for Sunnydale and quite possibly never return. That alone was a recipe for disaster.

Despite the guilt he felt for hiding such a secret, he knew in his heart that it was what needed to be done. He had not told Buffy that there was no plan on Connor returning to LA; of course unless something was to happen to her, he had promised her that. But from what he heard in her voice during their routine phone calls, he knew she wouldn't want it any other way. Although Buffy had never spoken the words, Wesley knew that she had fallen in love with the little boy, and that she would desperately hold onto him for as long as she could.

He concluded his thoughts with the knowledge that he had done all of this in Connor's best interest. He only hoped that would be able to satisfy him for... possibly forever.

* * *

The sun's first rays of the day felt warm on Buffy's skin as she stood on the balcony of the hospital, watching the sunrise. She closed her eyes and imagined Spike's arms around her waist, holding her close as they watched it together. But that would never happen, at least not if she wanted a pile of dust for a boyfriend.

That had always seemed to be a problem with Angel. He wasn't able to walk her to school, pick her up after, or just take her out for lunch. It had all seemed so drastic then, so different. It had never occured to her with Spike. It might have been because she knew now how those things worked, or maybe because Spike was just different.

Spike didn't regret what he had become, he just wanted to be better - better for _her_. In her eyes, he already was.

She had been relieved when he had returned after Xander's mini attack. She had needed him there with her, without him she most likely would have crumbled.

It had hurt him to have to leave her at the hospital alone come morning. She could see in his eyes how much he wanted to stay. But he would be waiting for her, her _and_ Connor, when they got home. And that meant just as much as if he had stayed.

"Ms. Summers?"

Buffy turned to find a nurse with a kind a smile. "Yes?"

"Your son is ready to be discharged. There are just a few release papers I need you to sign and you two can be on your way home."

Buffy nodded and followed her down the hallway to the reception desk. After signing the papers, she followed the nurse to Connor's room where he was dressed and ready to go.

She gently pulled him into her arms and whispered softly, "It's alright Connor, mo-... Buffy's got you."

* * *

When Buffy arrived home that morning, she was surprised to walk into the kitchen and find a platter full of her favourite treats. She had known Spike would be waiting, but she hadn't thought he would do anything romantic.

She smiled as she watched Spike enter the room. "Well 'ello pet, fancy seein' you 'ere."

Buffy raised her eyebrow. "It is my house Spike, or have your vampire instincts kicked in and you've marked your territory?"

He smirked. "Would you like me to Slayer?"

Buffy laughed. "I'd like you to take Connor up to his bassinet so he can have a nice nap in a familiar place. Poor little guy is probably all confused and sad."

Spike nodded as he gently took Connor from her arms. "Don't think he's sad, but I agree a proper sleep in his own bed will do 'im good. Why don't you go and take a bath luv?"

"Why? Do I stink?" she asked, her eyes wide.

"No pet, you don't stink. Just thought it might relax you a little, after a long night at the hospital."

She nodded. "Right. A bath does sound like heaven... can I bring my treats?"

Spike sent her a look as he turned to leave. "Is your house after all, isn't it?"

Buffy rolled her eyes as she grabbed her plate of goodies and headed for the stairs. Spike was right, a night in the hospital really didn't do a person any good. Her back was all achey from sleeping in a chair - for a whole twenty minutes - and her muscles were tense from the stress of it all. A bath was exactly what she needed. Now all she had to do was run one.

When Buffy turned into the bathroom, she found herself yet again frozen in surprise. There was no need for her to run one, the tub was already filled - minus bubbles, but _plus _rose pedals.

Could her life get any more perfect than it was at that moment? Maybe it hadn't been expected, and maybe it wasn't considered right. But she was happy - and that was something she hadn't been in a long time.

* * *

After Spike had settled Connor down for his nap, he decided to head down to the basement instead of interrupting Buffy. As much as he wanted to, he also wanted her to get her rest. That girl meant the world to him, and he would give up anything he could for her to be happy.

All he wanted was to do right by her. He had done _a lot_ of things in his past that caused him to see himself as unworthy of Buffy's love. He wanted to be the man that she deserved; he wanted to _be_ a man- for her.

Buffy had mentioned it on more than one occasion that she saw him as a man. And every time he heard her say those words, he felt a shimmer of hope that _maybe_ she could love him. And now, she did.

Before, when he had been like a love sick puppy following her around, he had _nothing_ to lose. Whether Buffy shut him down, or let herself go, he had nothing to lose.

And now, he had _everything_ to lose. Buffy, Dawn, Connor. In his eyes they were his to protect, to love, and to _lose_. The fear lived inside of him everyday - he was after all a soulless vampire, what if Buffy suddenly came to her senses and booted him out? How could he survive without them?

Spike had never had many fears, or any for that matter... until then.

With a shake of his head and a heavy sigh, he headed down the stairs to the basement.

He tossed off his boots and turned to the cot, only to find Buffy sitting on it. She was dressed in her bathrobe, her silky legs left exposed and crossed.

She looked up at him with a smile that made him tingle all over. "Didn't think you were gonna sneak away without saying good-... morning, did you?"

He laughed lightly as he sat down beside her. "You call it sneakin', I call it lettin' you rest."

"I'm not tired," she said, defiantly.

"That so luv?"

She nodded. "In fact, I couldn't be more awake right now."

He sent her a sideways smile. "What 'xactly are you tryin' to say 'ere?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "It's sad really, you're nearly 200 years old and you still don't have a clue when it comes to women Spike," she teased.

She didn't see it coming, he had moved to fast - but she wasn't complaining as he pinned her to the cot, his body covering hers.

"Care to test that theory Slayer?"

She smiled up at him. "Well that depends... will you make it worth my while?"

He smirked down at her, then kissed her neck softly. "I'll make you feel things in places you never knew you could," he said, his lips moving to hers.

She brought one of her hands up to his hair and massaged it gently. When he pulled away from the kiss slightly, she looked up into his eyes. "I love you Spike."

"An' I love you Buffy - always."

* * *

AN: Sorry! I know, I know, that could've continued on and been tons of sexy fun, but I really don't write sexy good lol, so better cut it short then write it bad, eh? I'll just leave it to your imagination ;)


	10. Chapter 10

Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews! Connor isn't going to be kidnapped, but there will be drama, trust me. This is the last chapter before I skip ahead 2 years to get things moving and get along with the plot given to me, so I hope you like :)

* * *

"Buff, hello, anyone up?" Xander called as he walked into the Summers' house. He was there to pick Dawn up and give her a drive to school, something he did a few times a month to give Buffy a little break. "Alright then, guess I'll help myself to a little breakfast while I'm waiting," he said, continuing to the kitchen.

When he got there, his anxious-for-free-food smile disappeared. "Spike? What the _hell_ are you doing in Buffy's house? Without a shirt?" Spike sighed as he turned for the basement. "Oh no, you aren't just walking away from this," Xander said, moving to block his way. Spike glared down at him. "What are you gonna do Spike? Hit me?"

Spike's jaw clenched. Despite the mind numbing pain it would cause, he _really_ wanted to knock the wanker down a notch - but he wouldn't, not until Buffy gave him the okay to do it.

"What is all this yell-... ohh God," Buffy said as she came sprinting into the kitchen, still in her pyjamas, with Dawn behind her. "Xander, this isn't... well, okay, it is what it looks like... _again_. But, I can explain."

"Explain? First, Angel's baby... now Spike, in your house, half naked! What's he Buffy, your maid?"

"You best watch what you say Nancy Boy," Spike growled.

Buffy turned to her sister. "Dawnie, go get your backpack."

"But I have it right here..."

"Dawn, go get your backpack, now," she said sternly.

Dawn let out a frustrated sigh. "Fine. I never get to see the good stuff," she said before disappearing.

"Do you think I have a problem with kicking your neutered ass? How dare you prey on Buffy when she's weak like this!" Xander hissed.

"Xander, he didn't-..." Buffy started, but he cut her off.

"Don't stand up for him Buffy, he... he's evil," he said, glaring over at Spike.

Buffy glanced over to where Spike stood by the basement door, and with her eyes pleaded for him to go wait for her downstairs. With one last growl directed at Xander, he disappeared.

"Xander, please, just let me explain."

"Oh I think it's all pretty selfexplainatory, Spike obviously brainwashed you into thinking... wait, are you _really_ Buffy? Oh! Oh! Buffybot!" he said, pointing his finger at her wildly.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "I'm not a robot Xander, I'm 100% the real deal. And Spike did not brainwash me into thinking anything. He's been... well, he's been helping me with Connor. So I... I asked him to kinda, you know, move in..." she said, trying to read her friend's expression.

"No, oh no... this is a dream. Wake up Xander, wake up," he said, pinching his arm. "Ow..."

Buffy laughed lightly. "Believe me, it isn't a dream. If it was, I'd be awake and fully staking Spike. But I trust him. He would never-..."

"Stalk you? Moon over you? Follow you around like a lost puppy? - Cause Buff, I think he already has. You can't trust him, he's evil."

"Yeah, I think we covered that already. But he isn't evil Xander, at least not anymore. And who are you to judge that anyways? You're engaged to a former vengence demon who was torturing men long before Spike was even born," she defended.

Xander took a step back, surprised by Buffy's defensive attitude towards Spike. She hated him - they all hated him. He was an evil, soulless vampire who Buffy only kept around for information and aid when needed... not for a make-believe housewife.

Buffy sighed. "Spike changed without a soul, he's proven all he needs to, and to the only person it matters - me. I love you Xander, and the last thing I want is for you to hate me. But I'm tired of hiding, I'm tired of feeling guilty, and I'm tired of worrying about your fragile ego. I can't help how I feel, if I could, believe me when I say Spike would be beaten bloody by now... but this happened for a reason. I need Spike in my life, just as much as I need you and everyone else. But if you aren't willing to respect me enough to trust my judgement, then I think... I think you should leave," she said, her voice soft yet stern.

Xander just stood there, his eyes locked on her. "You can't expect me to be _happy_ for you Buffy. We're talking about Spike here - William the Bloody. You can't honestly think that he can be good for you, can you?"

She hesitated before nodding. "Yeah, Xander, I think he's good for me - great even. And not only me, but Dawn and Connor too. If you only knew how much he loved them, you'd see it too."

"_Love_? Spike doesn't know how to love. Don't you get that he's just using them to get to you?"

"When I... died, Spike was the one who protected Dawn. _He_ kept her safe, _he_ made sure nothing happened to her. If he was just using Dawn to get to me, why would he do it when I was dead? When you're six feet under you don't really see much," she said. "I'm not asking you to be happy for me Xander, I know this is... shocking and I don't blame you for being upset. But this makes me happy. _Spike_ makes me happy."

Xander was silent for several minutes before he finally moved towards towards the front door. "If we don't get going Dawn will be late for school," he said, passing her by without so much as a glance.

Buffy stood in the kitchen, listening while he called for Dawn, and then the front door closing as they left. She rested her hands on the counter and took a deep breath. That hadn't gone quite as planned, but she couldn't say it went horrible. It could have been a lot worse.

One down, four to go.

* * *

Spike sat on his cot in the basement, his ears picking up on the argument between Buffy and Xander upstairs. He had lost count of how many times he'd rolled his eyes or mumbled a "bloody hell", but there was one thing he had kept count of - how many times Buffy had defended _him_. Four times in a five minute conversation - that was a hell of a lot more than he was used to.

He heard the wanker yell for Dawn and the front door slam shut as they left. He wasn't sure if he should go up to Buffy, or wait for her to come to him... if she did. But he figured after a spat like that with one of her closest friends that she would need her space. So he would wait.

It hadn't taken her as long as he expected, she was downstairs with him only minutes later. Even in her pyjamas Spike thought she looked as beautiful as ever. Her hair was a tangled mess pulled back into a scattered bun, and her face was without make-up - to him, she looked angelic.

"Spike, I'm sorry. I should have told them, I should have known something like this might happen," she said as she sat down beside him.

He looked over at her with a smile and kissed her gently on the forehead. "No worries luv, the whelp wouldn't 'ave taken it well either way. Those things you said Buffy, the way you defended me... I'll never forget that."

"You... you heard?" she asked and he nodded. "You aren't the monster that they think you are Spike, not now. When I see the way you are with Connor, everything I know about your past just disappears. I mean, of course I know what you are, what you've done and that there are some vampire ways about you that'll never go away... but I also know there isn't anything you wouldn't do for us, and I haven't had that in... well, a long time. I hope that Xander and the rest will realize that too. Maybe once they see you with him, _really_ see you, they will."

He sighed as he hesitated to ask a question he'd been fearing the answer. "An' if they don't?"

Buffy paused to think. "If they don't... it won't change anything. I love my friends, and I want them in my life. I _need_ them in my life. But when Connor almost... I realized that life is too short. I'm the Slayer for God's sake - I could be killed any day... well, most likely night... what I mean is I love you. You... You make me happy. And you make Dawn happy, and Connor too. As dysfunctional as it might be, we're kind of a family now."

Spike wrapped his arm around her tiny frame and pulled her into him, her head resting on his chest. "I never thought I'd see the day where I could hold you in my arms," he whispered.

She laughed. "Trust me, neither did I... but there is no place I'd rather be."

He kissed the top of her head gently. "You want me to take over patrol tonight?"

She shook her head. "Nah, I'm feeling kinda restless. It's been a few days since I've had a good fight - hopefully there's some real nasties out."

"Only my girl would pray to run into the nasties."

She shrugged. "What can I say, Slayer here."

"_My_ Slayer," he said softly.

She turned her head to look up at him. "_My_ vampire."

"Bloody well right," he said with a smile. "Now, what you say we go-..." He was cut short when a loud cry filled the house. "Check on the kid," he finished.

Buffy smiled as she stood up and headed for the stairs. When they got up to Buffy's room where Connor was sleeping, Spike lifted the small boy from his crib and soothed him gently.

Buffy sat down on her bed and watched them contently for a few minutes. "Spike?"

"Yeah pet?"

"What do you think... what is he gonna call us? What _should_ he call us? The other day at the hospital, well, I almost said "mommy"... but I don't... I mean, I'm not his..."

Spike smiled over at her. "'s alright luv, 's a confusing situation. In all honesty, I don't think it matters much what he calls us, 's long as he knows that we're 'ere for him an' always will be."

She noddded. "You're right, that makes sense. Mom and dad are just names, they don't mean anything..."

"Connor'll figure out what he wants, an' if it makes 'im happy, then tha's all that matters, eh?"

She nodded again as she stood and kissed him on the cheek. "How would I ever survive this without you?"

He smirked. "Simple - you wouldn't."

Buffy stuck her tongue out at him before heading to the door. "I'm going to make some breakfast, my tummy's all rumbly."

"Alright luv, I'll get Connor changed and bring 'im down in a few."

"Okay - I'll make the yum, but I am _not_ making your ick," she said, scrunching up her nose.

He laughed and watched as she left the room before taking Connor over to the change table.

* * *

A week had gone by, and Buffy had only left the house at night to patrol, or to run to the store for something they needed. She had been trying her best to avoid her friends, she didn't want any more confrontation about Spike. She knew they wouldn't understand, and it scared her to think that she might lose them forever.

But she wasn't willing to sacrifice Spike in order to keep them around. If they were truly her friends they'd come around. She just had no idea when that would be.

Having Spike around had proven more productive than she'd expected at first. Every night after supper he helped Dawn with her homework, and as a result of that her grades had picked up tremendiously. It seemed that all Dawn had needed was someone who had a unique perspective on learning to help her understand, and Spike was definitely unique.

Connor was already five months old and was growing so much that Buffy was scared she'd wake up and he'd be ready to start school. It was amazing to her how time passed so quickly when you were raising a child. But she would be nowhere if it wasn't for _him_ - Spike. The things he knew surprised her at times. How could a vampire know so much about what a child needs? Yet, he always did.

That night, Buffy was tidying up the living room while Dawn and Connor slept upstairs. Spike had taken patrol that night, she didn't expect him to be back for a while. Whenever he went out, he always took a run by his crypt and then stopped in at the local demon bar.

She knew that he loved being with them at home, but he was still a vampire. He still needed some contact with _his_ world. Surprisingly enough, she didn't mind. She loved him - _all_ of him.

As she tucked some stray toys into their proper place, there was a knock on the front door. When she opened it, Willow was standing there with a hopeful look on her face.

"Can I, um, come in?" she asked quietly and Buffy nodded before backing away to make room. "How are you?"

"I'm good," Buffy said as they awkwardly sat down on the sofa. "Is that why you came by? Or did you have something else to say..."

"Uh, yeah, I did... I do... Xander, he told us what happened... with Spike," she said. "And Buffy, he might have overreacted a little, but you have to understand how much of a surprise this was, to all of us."

"Well it was a surprise to me too Will. You think I wanted to fall in love with _Spike_? But I... I expected you of all people to understand you don't choose who you love... and Xander, he's dating an ex-demon!" Buffy said, frustrated.

Willow sighed. "Buffy, it isn't so much _what_ Spike is, but _who_ he is. Spike hasn't always been on your side, he did try to kill you... more than once."

"That was before, he's changed... and how many times has he protected not only me, but Dawn and Connor too? I can't explain why I feel the way I do Will, but I'm not going to be ashamed of it. As crazy as it is, Spike... he makes me happy."

Willow nodded with a smile. "I know. I can see it all over your face. When we brought you back... and when we found out where you were... you've been through a lot Buffy, and you deserve to be happy. If Spike is what does it for you, then... well that's all that matters, right?"

Buffy smiled as she looked over at her best friend. "So you're saying you don't hate me?"

Willow gasped. "Hate you? God no Buffy, I could never hate you. It was just a... a shock is all. But stranger things have happened."

"They sure have... so we're good then?"

Willow smiled. "Better than good, we're goody good good." Buffy laughed as she wrapped her arms around Willow in a strong hug. "Ow... Buff... can't... breathe."

Buffy pulled away with a teary eyed smile. "Sorry, sorry... I'm just... I thought I might lose you and I _really_ did not want that to happen."

"Lose me? Pff, you can never lose me, I'm unlosable. Just, one thing..." she said, and Buffy waited for her to continue. "Can I see my little Connor cakes? I've been going through baby withdrawls and I think I'm about to lose my mind."

Buffy grinned as she stood up. "Of course. He's upstairs. I'll be up in a minute, I just have to finish up down here."

Willow nodded before hugging her one last time, then headed up the stairs. Buffy watched her disappear with a smile on her face.

* * *

"No, we're not."

"Yes, we are."

"No, we're _not_."

"Yes, we _are._"

"Enough already! You two are worse than bickerin' children. Just pick a bloody movie before me an' Connor 'ere bugger off to do our own thing," Spike said, breaking up the argument between Buffy and Dawn over what movie they were going to watch.

The four were all gathered in the living room; Spike and Buffy sat on the sofa with Connor between them, while Dawn sat on the floor by their feet.

"You're not going to "bugger off", this is family night and _all_ of us make up the family so no one is leaving this living room," Buffy warned. "Alive," she added for effect.

He smirked. "Well then, guess tha's not stoppin' me pet, now is it?"

She glared over at him. "You know what I meant... don't make me go Slayer on your butt cause I totally will. _Nothing_ is going to ruin our family night."

"Nothin', eh? Well you and Bit 'ere seem to be ruinin' it plenty. 's not that hard, just pick a damn movie and turn it on."

"Well it is hard when your big sister doesn't want to watch any good movies," Dawn said. "She only likes the mushy romantic ones because she _always_ finds something wrong in the action ones."

"Oh come on, Spike you have to agree with me there. I mean, some of the things they do, like those would _actually_ work in real life," Buffy said, glancing over at him, but he said nothing. "Fine then. You'll see."

"Does that mean I won?" Dawn asked and Buffy nodded in defeat. "Awesome. Spike you're gonna love it, I promise."

"Sure thing Bit, you get the movie and me an' Connor will go get the snacks for you kids," Spike said as he stood, Connor in his arms.

"Haha, you're so funny," Buffy said. "Make sure you put extra butter on the popcorn - but not too much because I don't like it soggy. Oh, and don't forget the cookies, no family night is complete without cookies."

"And the soda," Dawn added.

"Bloody hell," Spike mumbled as he started for the kitchen.

"Oh Spike, one more thing," Buffy said, and he turned to face her. "Love you."

He rolled his eyes then smiled before disappearing.

Dawn turned and looked up at Buffy. "This is perfect," she said. "Ever since mom died... well it hasn't felt like a _home_, you know? But now with Spike, and Connor, and you... it's all just so perfect."

Buffy nodded as she ran her hand through Dawn's hair. "I couldn't have said it better myself Dawnie."

* * *

AN: So, I think this was a fairly long chapter! Hurricane Earl's hitting us right now so I'm stuck inside and bored, and wrote this :) Hope you liked, let me know!


	11. Chapter 11

2 YEARS LATER...

* * *

Angel sat at his desk in the Hyperion hotel sorting through a stack of case files. His mind was focused entirely on his work, and had been since he heard of his son's death two years earlier.

After recovering from his tempory loss of sanity, he had hoped to be reunited with his son, only to find that he would never again look into his innocent 'd spent two years of doing nothing but helping other people when he was unable to help himself deal with the grief of losing his only child - his miracle child.

"Angel?" Cordelia called as she stepped into his office. "There's a man in the lobby asking for you. He says he knows you from somewhere..."

Angel didn't look up from his desk as he nodded. "Let him know I'll be out in a minute."

She smiled at him, a smile of sadness for his depressed state. Angel had always been broody, ever since she met him so many years ago when she was still in high school. But she had never seen him like this, he had changed. When he had learned of Connor's death, he had pushed everyone away - including her. He never did anything else rather than sit at his desk and sort through files, or go out and solve cases. But he always did those things alone - he never asked for help.

Cordelia turned and left his office to pass his message on.

Once she was gone, Angel let out a heavy sigh as his head fell into his hands. He didn't know how many more people he could help. Most days he felt like giving up and leaving all together. To go where, he didn't know. He just wanted to disappear.

He didn't communicate with his friends, he didn't confide in them no matter how much they pushed him to, especially Cordelia. The two of them had once been close, but he had pulled away from her just like the others. He only spoke to them when needed, but still he only ever managed a few words.

He said none to Wesley, and after several months of a silent feud, Wesley made the choice to leave Angel Investigations, and along with him, so did Fred. As much as Angel's mind knew that what happened to Connor was not Wesley's fault, his heart wouldn't believe and he laid all responsibility on his old friend.

After a few minutes of gathering his thoughts, Angel stood and headed out to the main lobby of the hotel. Cordelia was standing with a tall, dark haired man dressed in a fancy suit. Angel didn't recognize him, there was nothing about the man that struck him as familiar.

"Angel," the man said, in a friendly tone as he extended his hand.

Angel shook it cautiously. "I'm sorry, I don't remember you. Your name is..."

"Lincoln. Lincoln Gallagher. We met quite a while back, so it'd be real possible if you don't. But I couldn't forget you. You saved me from some awful beast that was terrorizing me and my family."

Angel nodded. "Oh. Well, what can I do for you Mr. Gallagher?" Angel asked, glancing to Cordelia. He took notice of the way that she watched Lincoln like he was familiar to her, maybe she had helped him with the case. He never usually forgot a face, it puzzled him why he couldn't place this man. But if Cordelia was able to then there was no reason why he shouldn't believe the story. Still, he was cautious.

"Something is happening again. Something terrible. And I didn't know who else to turn to," he said. "It's a demon. At least... I think it is. It's messing with our memories, mine and my wife's... and not in a nice way. I was hoping maybe you could come by our house and you know... scout it out, do what you do."

Angel made a small "mhm" noise as he nodded. "I'm pretty busy at the moment. Maybe I can schedule something for next week?"

Lincoln's eyes widened at the thought. "Next week? We could be dead by then..."

"Angel, I remember him - it was a scary situation he was in and if something is bothering him again, it's more than likely really serious. I can help with a few of your cases," she offered, but he shook his head.

"No, that's fine Cordy," he said, then sighed. "I guess I can run by later tonight."

Lincoln's face lit up as he once again shook Angel's hand. "Oh thank you, thank you. I know you're a busy... man, and I wouldn't bother you if it wasn't serious. You're the only one I know who can handle a situation like this. And of course, I'll pay you. I don't have the money with me, but if you come by later I can have it then."

Angel shook his head. "No, no money. If it's the demon I'm thinking of, it won't take much to get rid of him. Try and stay out of the house until I get there. Let's say, eleven?" Lincoln nodded. "Okay. Eleven," Angel said, then turned and headed back to his office.

Cordelia smiled over at the man. "I'll walk you out," she said politely as she followed him up the stairs and out onto the street. Once outside, her smile faded. "I don't want him to get hurt."

Lincoln smiled over at her and it sent shivers down her spine. "Oh my dear Cordelia, no promise can be made there. Then again, I don't make the decisions, my boss does. You just make sure he's where he's supposed to be at eleven and you'll get what you want."

"What I _need_," she corrected, as if it made the situation any different. She was betraying one of her closest friends, one that had always looked out for her and protected her. It killed her inside, but the man she worked for was no longer the Angel she loved.

Lincoln laughed as he stepped out into the road. "Eleven," he reminded in a dangerous tone, before disappearing down an alley.

* * *

Cordelia had insisted on going with Angel to the Gallagher house, but he had told her he would go alone. Just like every other night. She had given him the address and directions, and he had left.

It didn't take long to get there, it was only a fifteen minute drive. Once there, he got out of his car and decided to make a quick sweep around the outside of the house. When he got to the backyard, he was surprised to find Lincoln standing calmly next to a large spikey red demon in a black robe.

"Hello Angel, I'm so glad you made it. I'm afraid to be the one to tell you this, but your sweet, sweet Cordelia betrayed you, she set you up. And now, here you are, all alone and helpless," he said with an evil grin.

Angel didn't recognize what type of demon that was standing before him, so he was unaware of it's abilities. But still, he managed a small but confident smile. "I might be alone, but I'm far from helpless. So what's the deal here? You want me dead so you can take over LA?"

Lincoln laughed. "No, no. We just want you dead. If you live, so to speak, you could prove troublesome for the plans that we have."

Angel shrugged. "Well, that _is_ my job. You can try and have your demon friend kill me, but you might be surprised by how hard it is for me to die."

"Stake through the heart, good ol' chopping off of the head - doesn't sound to hard to me," Licoln said.

"Let's get on with this, I have other people to save from _real_ threats," Angel said before swinging at the demon.

Lincoln backed up a few paces and watched the fight ensue between vampire and demon. He knew there was a chance that Angel might win, but his boss still had a few other tricks up his sleeve that would give Angel a nice scare.

Several minutes, and much bloodshed later, Angel stood over the still body of the demon. His head was bleeding from a deep gash just above his eye, and he thought his left arm might be sprained or broken. But he felt no pain.

He turned to where Lincoln had been standing, but no one was there. The coward must have fled before Angel could finish him off too.

With an unneeded breath and a mumbled curse, Angel stalked off to his car. Cordelia had betrayed him, that had come as a shock. He would have never expected _her_ to do something like that. He had no idea what she had been promised in return for setting him up, and he didn't care. All he knew was what he had known all along - he worked better alone.

* * *

When Angel returned to the Hyperion, Cordelia was waiting in the lobby. Her expression was grim as she watched him limp in. She stood and approached him, and he saw the slight appearance of worry on her face. Whether it was worry for him, or worry for what she might not receive, he didn't know. Again, he didn't care.

"Angel, what happened? I thought you said the demon would be-..."

Angel cut her off with a piercing glare. "Get your stuff and get out," he growled. "Because of all we've been through, I'm not going to hurt you for betraying me Cordelia. But if I see you again, I don't know if I can hold true to that."

She stepped back away from him. "Angel, I... I didn't mean for this to happen. You know that I love you, but you just... you aren't the man I fell in love with, the man that I cared about. You barely speak two words to me, you don't care about what's happening to me, what _I've_ been through. I loved Connor too. But I didn't just lose him, I lost you. Do you know how much that hurt?"

His expression never changed. "So that makes it okay for you to send me to my possible death? Because you're hurt?" he laughed. "You're still the selfesh little bitch that you were in high school Cordelia. So I'll tell you _one_ more time, get your stuff and get out."

She stared at him blankly as he walked past her and into his office. Tears began to stream down her cheeks as she turned and headed for her room. What had she done? It had all seemed worth it when she had first made the bargain. But she had never known Angel would be killed, she never wanted him hurt. Lincoln had told her only that his boss wanted to do buisness with him. If only Angel knew why she had done it. If only he knew _who_ she had done it for. Maybe then he wouldn't have been so angry.

But he would never know, because he would never let her explain. And she knew that she deserved it - she had lost his trust.

"I'm sorry Angel," she whispered to no one but herself. "I'm so sorry _Doyle_."

* * *

It was hard to sleep. He hadn't had a full one since Connor's death. Actually, it would have been when he had killed Darla to save his son. Look what good that had done him.

When he had kicked Cordelia out, he had locked the hotel doors and taken his anger out on his office. Papers were torn and scattered across the room, the desk was broken in half and anything else was left unsavagable. He was done with helping people. He was done with everything.

All he wanted was to be left alone. Maybe even to die. He surely had enough enemies in LA to make it happen.

He was sitting on his bed, staring blankly at the wall when he heard a faint knock on the front doors. He shook his head and ignored it. But it only grew louder and more persistant.

So he stood and headed to the door with a heart full of anger. He pulled it open, and found himself speechless when he realized _who_ was standing in front of him.

"B-Buffy?" he muttered.

She smiled brightly as she rocked on her heels. "Hey Angel, I'm kinda in an awkward situation, think you can help me out?"

He was stunned, he couldn't find any words. Buffy was at _his_ hotel in LA. But there was something different about her. He had made a few trips to Sunnydale after he had left, and she had grown up a lot since he'd last seen her. The Buffy standing before him didn't look like she had grown up at all - in fact, she looked the same way she did the day he had left.

"Angel?" she asked when he never responded.

"Yeah, sure, come in," he said, moving to the side as she stepped in. "What... why are you here?"

She smiled at him again, and he suddenly started to feel just a _little_ better. "Well, I, uh, I don't know. I was standing in the Bronze and then poof, here I am on your doorstep. I didn't even know you had a hotel... I didn't even know you were here. I just... _something_ told me you were."

"So you aren't Buffy?"

She laughed. "Uh, it hasn't been _that_ long has it? You... you only left a couple weeks ago."

Angel couldn't believe what he was hearing. How was this possible? _His_ Buffy was standing in the hotel he had bought years after he'd left her that night in Sunnydale and she was acting as if... No, this couldn't be possible. Could it? Most people would think vampires weren't possible, but clearly, they were.

Had she travelled through time?

"Earth to Angel," she said, as she waved a hand in front of his face. "You know, you look a lot older... is that a vampire thing?"

"Buffy, it's been longer than a week since I left... it's been almost six years."

Her expression at first was complete shock, then it turned into a playful grin. "No way. That's not possible."

"That's what I was thinking... but it's true. The last time I saw you, you were in college," he said.

She laughed. "Well, yeah, I start in like three weeks. But how did you see me-..."

"No, Buffy, you aren't listening. You were _in_ college. Living in a dorm, dating an army guy... "

Again, she laughed. "Wow, did you take a crazy pill today or something? Look, I was at the Bronze like not even an hour ago and then bam I'm here. I figured it was like a teleportation or something... but, whatever it was... I'm glad to see you Angel. I missed you."

He stood still as she walked into his arms and wrapped hers around his torso. He didn't know if he should hug her back, he didn't know if he wanted to. Cordelia had been right, he had changed. But seeing Buffy again, _his_ Buffy, all of that disappeared. He found his arms slowly encircle her small waist as she rested her head on his chest. He leaned down and took in the scent of her hair, a smell that he had long since felt, but had never forgotten.

"I missed you too," he whispered. "We'll figure this out."

She looked up at him and smiled. "Until then, can we just be us for a few minutes? I know that you left so I could have a normal life because we can never... but feeling your arms around me, I feel safer than I have in the last two weeks."

_And I feel happier than I have in the last two years,_ he thought, but never said it. "Sure," was all he managed to say.

* * *

AN: Okay, so I know some of you are thinking WTF? lol I'm a Bangel and Spuffy fan, I like 'em both. I have no problems with Angel, and I think they truly loved each other. So that's whats up with the BA action. BUT it will not interfere with BS either! This BA will just be between past Buffy and Angel, not present Buffy and Angel. Now all the twists and turns are coming out, so I hope you guys like! And I just want to mention again that the plot is BellaVision's, including this chapter's main ideas, Cordelia's betrayal and past Buffy. I only take credit for writing it :) Please review and let me know what you think!


	12. Chapter 12

Author's Note: Thank you so much for the reviews :) I never expected that many so soon! I'm happy :) I posted Chapter 11 really soon after Chapter 10, just because I had them both written since I was stuck inside. I live in a basement apartment so the hurricane barely touched me, never lost power or anything, thank God.

Oh and I realize it wasn't very clear _why_ Coredlia betrayed him, but it will be explained a bit more later on... and there was a tad hint in there ;)

Alright, so the last chapter skipped ahead 2 years, and no, nothing like Season 7 is going to be happening. This chapter has both Sunnydale and LA in it, and some sweet Spuffy fun before all the drama begins :)

* * *

6 MONTHS LATER

* * *

The sound of footsteps could be heard all around the Summers' house; the smell of a homemade dinner filled the air; and the umistakable scramble of laughter could be heard blocks away.

It was the perfect setting for the perfect family. Maybe they were perfect, just only in their own way. A Slayer, a vampire, a former key, and a miracle child made up most likely the happiest family in Sunnydale. Who would've thought? _Who_ would possibly know?

"Connor, breakfast is ready!" Buffy called out to the three year old who was running endless circles around the house.

The dark haired, brown eyed little boy stopped, slid across the floor and landed on his behind before jumping up and hopping over to the dining room table. He climbed up into his chair and sat patiently while Buffy brought his food to him.

"I like pancakes," he said excitedly as he picked one up in his hands.

"Hey now, you got a fork for a reason," Spike reminded as he picked it up and handed it to him. Connor shook his head as he stuffed the pancake into his mouth. Spike sighed. "Right then, hands work too."

"Give the guy a break, like you never ate with _your _hands," Dawn responded as she walked past the boy, rubbing his hair before sitting down beside him.

Dawn was eighteen now, and started university in a few weeks. She had matured a lot in the past two and a half years, and had become quite the smarty pants in school. She had been accepted to four universities, all scattered across the US, but had ultimately chosen to stay in Sunnydale.

Her life had taken a turn for the good when Connor showed up, and she didn't want to lose all that she had gained by moving away. Although she knew it wouldn't change how much her family loved her, she wanted to be close to them. Besides, UC Sunnydale was a great school.

"Yum, pancakes," she said, stealing a bite of Connor's.

"Hey, don't do that," he scolded, but she only smiled over at him in response.

"Morning Dawnie," Buffy said, walking into the dining room with a plate stacked of pancakes. "What are you up to today?"

"Me and Janice are gonna hit up the mall to get some early school shopping done. I need a major wadrobe update."

Buffy leaned down and hugged her from behind. "I can't believe our little Dawnie is going off to college."

Spike laughed. "Yeah, goin' down the road. We'll see her plenty Slayer, 's not like she's leavin' the state."

Dawn looked up at him and pouted. "So you aren't gonna miss me Spike?"

He rolled his eyes. "Course I'm gonna miss you Bit. Guess Connor's gonna have to step it up in order to keep the annoyin' presence in the house."

Buffy reached over and hit him playfully. "You're so cruel. Once she's gone you'll realize how much you'll wish she was around. _Especially_ when your nails get all chippy."

He sent her a glare. "Tha's not fair, appearance is an important part of bein' a vampire - gotta keep up the look pet."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Oh yeah, painted nails are way dangerous," Buffy said straight faced before the laugh escaped.

"God, you two act like an old married couple... and I love every second of it," Dawn said. "I'm gonna miss you guys."

"I miss you too sissy," Connor said, looking up at her.

"Aw baby, I'm gonna miss you most," she said, wrapping an arm around the small boy.

"Can I have choclate milk?" Connor asked, craning his neck to see Buffy. She nodded and planted a soft kiss on his forehead before disappearing back into the kitchen.

"So Spike," Dawn started. "Since I'm gonna be leaving, I figure you and Buffy won't get much time to yourselves. I mean, yeah Willow and Tara take him like twice a month, but I was thinking tonight, after the mall with Janice, I'd keep Connor here and you can take my sister out."

"Like a date?" he asked curiously and she laughed.

"Strange concept, I know. But yeah, when's the last time you two went on one? If ever... I get you guys are "special", but that doesn't mean you can't go out and have a nice supper and then party it up at the Bronze or something. Buffy really deserves a night out and who better to spend it with than you? It's been almost three years now, it isn't like people don't _know_ you're a couple."

He smiled as he pondered the idea. It was true, despite them being an item, they had never actually done couple things. But they weren't just a normal couple, they were so much more than that. _Still_, it would be fun.

"Sounds great Bit, I'm sure big sis would love it," he said. "An' so would I. Nothin' wrong with havin' a little fun, eh?"

"Definitely. A night out that doesn't involve a pointy wooden object and bruised body parts - can't go wrong there."

"Did I hear someone say bruised body parts? Whose body parts are being bruised?" Buffy asked as she walked into the dining room and handed Connor a sippy cup full of chocolate milk.

"Not yours," Dawn said. "Because tonight you're off duty, and so is Spike. You're gonna go out, have fun, and come back fully functional... alright, well aside from the alcohol induced kind."

"Like a date?" she asked and Dawn laughed.

"Is that so hard for you two to comprehend? Yes, a date! Like you haven't always wanted to go out and pretend like you aren't a vampire slayer dating a reformed vampire caring for a child that was thought to be impossible to have?" she said with a smile.

"Well, it does sound pretty tempting," Buffy said with a grin.

"So consider it done then. I'll be back around two, and then the night is all yours," Dawn said. "_And_ I fully intend on confiscating your cell phone. You aren't going to ruin your night by calling to check in every five minutes. Me and Con will be fine, we've got it covered, right?" she asked, looking down at him.

He nodded with a mouth full of pancakes.

"Then 's settled," Spike said as he wrapped his arm around Buffy's waist. "I've already got a few ideas of what we're gonna do to make this a memorable night brewin' in my head," he said with a smirk.

"You've always got _those_ ideas brewing in your head," she said, looking up at him.

"Don't pretend like you don't Slayer, I know all your-..."

"Okay, who needs syrup?" Buffy interrupted, pulling away from him.

* * *

That same day in LA...

Angel sat on his bed as he sorted through a number of research books. He would have used his desk, but it had been destroyed when he had experienced a fit of rage six months earlier. Now that his business was officially closed, he had seen no point in buying a new one. His bed served the purpose just as well, if not more comfortably.

The last thing he had expected was for Buffy to come back into his life - especially the _same_ Buffy he had left almost seven years ago. Minutes before she had shown up on his doorstep, he had given up on helping other people and closed his doors for good. But how could he turn _her_ away?

It didn't seem to bother her that he wasn't the same person she'd known, but then again, it didn't bother him either. Strangely, it had brought importance back into his life. The one person he knew he could never have, yet loved so deeply, needed him. There was no way that he would refuse her, he didn't think there was any way he _could_.

They had spent the last six months together in his hotel. For the most part, they had researched, through books and through informants on the street. Angel was almost positive it had been a spell demon, but there was a range of different types, and he had no idea how to contact one or reverse what had happened.

Maybe he didn't want to find a way.

"Angel?" Buffy asked, appearing in his doorway.

"Yeah?" he asked, turning to look at her.

"I'm hungry," she pouted. "And your fridge is low on everything except for blood... which doesn't really satisfy my tastebuds."

He smiled as he stood and approached her. "Okay. I'll give you some money and you can run to the store and pick up some food that will satisfy you."

The look on her face shook him. Her eyes were full of love, full of understanding, and full of hope. Buffy, the _present_ one, had moved on by now he was sure. Her first boyfriend since him had been Riley, the army guy, but that would have been years ago, who knew who she was with now?

But the Buffy standing before him, he could tell, was still hopelessly in love with _him._

Before he had time to react to what she was doing, he felt her lips against his and her small form pushed roughly into his. He wanted more than anything to return the kiss, but he knew if he did that things may get out of control and the last thing he wanted was to hurt her.

"Buffy, we can't..." he said softly as he pulled her away from him.

"But Angel, maybe the curse doesn't apply to me anymore. I mean, technically-..."

"It's too dangerous, you know that. Besides, we need to focuse on why and how you're here," he said.

She sighed. "Yeah, right. Too bad-... Willow! She would have to know, she knows _everything_. And add six years - I'm sure she's like an uber-genius now."

Angel nodded. "She might be able to help, it's worth a shot."

Buffy's face suddenly lit up. "Oh! And how fun would it be to meet myself? Kinda creepy maybe, but still wicked cool. I bet she'd be able to give me some great tips. You know, cause she already faced everything that I haven't even faced yet. I could totally avoid a lot of-..."

He gently quieted her with a finger to her lips. "I'll go give her a call, why don't you head to the store?"

She nodded. "Angel?" she asked and he waited for her to continue. "I... I love you."

He smiled. It had been so long since he'd heard her say those words, longer than _she_ had actually said them. It never failed to make him feel like the most important person on the world.

"You better go, if I get in touch with Willow we'll be leaving right after sunset," he said, and watched as the hurt appeared on her face before she turned and left silently.

It killed him on the inside not to be able to return her words, but it didn't seem right. He almost felt like he would be taking advantage of her, or leading her on to believe in something that could never happen.

And if he said those words, he didn't know if _he_ would be able to let her go. Whenever that would be, he knew it was inevitable - having Buffy in his life was only temporary.

* * *

_"...Your lips, my biggest weakness  
Shouldn't have let you know  
I'm always gonna do what they say (hey)  
If you need me  
I'll come right there  
From a thousand miles away  
When you smile I smile (oh whoa)  
You smile I smile  
Hey_

Baby take my open heart and all it offers  
Cause this is as unconditional as it'll ever get  
You ain't seen nothing yet  
I won't ever hesitate to give you more  
Cause baby (hey)  
You smile I smile (whoa)  
You smile I smile  
Hey hey hey  
You smile I smile  
I smile I smile I smile  
You smile I smile  
Make me smile baby

Baby you won't ever want for nothing  
You are my answers and my means now  
With you there's no in between  
I'm all in  
Cause my cards are on the table  
And I'm willing and I'm able  
But I fold to your wish  
Cause it's my command  
Hey hey hey..."

The music that filled the Bronze couldn't describe any better how Buffy felt at that moment in her life. The words spoke to her, her heart warming at the thought of Spike and the family they had created in nearly three years. She had never wanted to be so close to him, she had never thought she could be. After all that he had done in his life as a vampire, how could she love someone like him?

And now, she could not imagine her life without him in it. He may have been the last person she wanted to love, but now he was the last person she wanted to lose. He had changed not only himself, but her as well. There had been so many things that he had taught her over the years - about being a parent, a sister, and being _her_.

She had thought it was impossible to love someone as much as she had Angel, and maybe it was true. Her love for Angel was different. He had been her first, and he had touched her in a way no one else could. But Spike had also done that. And he had made it surprisingly easy to love him back. Whatever her feelings were for Angel, they weren't what she wanted anymore.

Every way that Spike loved her, every thing he made her feel, every time she hated him just as much as she loved him - that was her heaven. Nothing could compare, anad _nothing_ could pull her away from him.

His arms around her waist held her close to him as they swayed to the music, in a crowd of people, yet completely in their own world. They would never fit in, they would never be normal. Spike had helped her realize that she never _wanted_ to be. They weren't normal, they didn't belong with anyone but each other. And that was more than enough.

Her head rested on his chest, where the sound of his heartbeat _should_ be, yet there was only silence. It had taken a while to adjust to it, after being with Riley, but now it was a comfort to her.

Buffy let out a small whine when Spike pulled away from her. She looked up at him and he gently tucked a few strands of blonde hair behind her ears before smiling.

"Why don't you go 'ave a seat an' I'll grab us some drinks?" he asked and she nodded.

"I guess it would make sense, we've been dancing since we got here... three hours ago," she said with a small smile.

"Feelin' you so relaxed I couldn't be bothered to stop, but a bloke can only do so much dancin' before he needs a break. Now be a good girl and go sit an' wait... no runnin' off after any nasties, this is 'upposed to be _our_ night out," he said, eyeing her sternly.

She sighed. "Even if it's _really_ serious. I mean, you can't expect me to sit here and watch someone go off to get themselves killed. _I_ don't get nights off," she reminded.

He let out a heavy sigh. "Bugger... 'lright, but _only_ if it's a real vamp and not you just tryin' to get your jollies."

She laughed. "Why would I have to run off to get my "jollies"? Aren't _you_ supposed to give me those?"

He smirked. "You wanna play it like that Slayer? Sod the drinks, let's take this out back."

She placed a hand on his chest and reached up to kiss his lips softly. "It wasn't a challenge, more like a... reminder. Keep it in your pants Spike, we have plenty of time for that later," she said with a smile.

"Bloody hell woman," he mumbled. "Just sit your cute little ass down and wait then."

"Yes Sir," she said with a mock salute before sitting on an empty chair. She watched with an amused smile as he walked away, shaking his head.

Her eyes scanned the crowd, a Slayer was always on alert. As much as she wanted something to slay, there were no vampires in sight. Until...

A familiar tingle ran down Buffy's spine. It wasn't the feeling she got when any plain vampire was around - it was a feeling she only felt for _one_ vampire. She spun around in her seat, trying to spot him, but saw only young people laughing and having fun. She could've sworn...

"Funny," she mumbled to herself as she turned back around. Her thoughts of slaying had quickly disappeared, and she was now focused on _why_ she would be sensing _Angel._

The last time she had spoken to Wesley, he had informed her that Angel was well and recovering from whatever it was that had plagued him. He had told her that Angel had been focused on his work and nothing else, after finding out that Connor had "died". Although it had sicken her, she couldn't help but feel slightly relieved that Wesley had lied. If Angel thought his son was dead, he wouldn't come looking for him - and she wouldn't lose Connor.

So, why would he be here, in Sunnydale, almost three years later?

* * *

"Oh my God, was that Spike? Was _I_ dancing with _Spike_? Ew," Buffy said, cringing as she looked over at Angel. They stood hidden in the darkness of the Bronze, watching the present Buffy wrapped securely in Spike's arms. "I mean, can you say gross? I think I might puke... Spike, really Buffy, _Spike_? Oh God, does that mean that _I_... oh no. Oh no, no, no, _no_."

Angel stood frozen, speechless and seething with anger. Of course he had known she would have moved on, but with _him_. There was no one on this planet, universe even, that Angel despised more than Spike. To watch Buffy willingly be with him stung, but it also made him angry, _very_ angry.

He watched, unabe to stop, as Spike pulled away from her and they headed over to a table. They spoke for a minute before she _kissed _him then he disappeared to the bar, and she sat down. Once by herself, he recognized the familiar look on her face before she spun around, eyeing everyone in the club. _She knows_, he thought to himself.

"... like no, never... I can guarantee that if I get back to, well, my time, _this_ will so not happen," Buffy continued, unaware that Angel had drowned her out. "Everyone knows that I... I only _love_ you."

He would have been able to handle seeing Buffy with someone else, despite the hurt it may cause, but to see her with _him_. That was something he would not let go. He was not going to let _his_ Buffy make such a stupid mistake.

"Maybe all she needs is a little reminder," he said softly as he turned and walked out of the club, unable to watch any longer, Buffy close behind him.

* * *

AN: Well now things get interesting! lol I am not really a Bieber fan, I just heard this song on the radio and was like hmm, could work. Sooo, what do _you_ think? Let me know! :) Thanks for readin!


	13. Chapter 13

Author's Note: This might get a little confusing, because Buffy will meet her past self in this chapter. So to make things run a little smoother, I'm going to type past Buffy as PBuffy, and present normally. K? :) Thanks!

Originally, I was taking this next chapter a different way, but made a last minute change to it. Up until now I had everything planned out, but then I caught up with myself so now I'm going to have to get planning! Enjoy !

~/~/~

When Spike and Buffy returned home that night, he had gone upstairs to check on Dawn and Connor while she settled on the couch downstairs. Sometime over the last three years, Spike had moved from the basement, and he and Buffy now shared her mother's old room. Things had been getting cramped with her sharing one with Connor, so now he had hers all to himself.

Spike opened the door carefully and quietly slipped inside. The toddler was asleep on his bed, snuggled in under the blankets. Spike crept over and after simply watching him sleep for a few minutes, bent down and kissed him gently on the forehead before turning and heading back out into the hallway.

Before he went back downstairs with Buffy, he went into their room to change into something more comfortable. Being with Buffy had changed him in the simplist of ways. He never would've thought he'd find himself wearing sweat pants - he only ever wore his infamous black jeans, with the occasional blue pair. But she had insisted, and he'd been wearing the comfy pants ever since.

Just as he was pulling them on, there was a loud bang downstairs. Spike didn't underestimate _anything_, not when his family was in danger. He ran out of the bedroom towards the stairs, his pants barely pulled up all the way.

~/~/~

They had just gotten home from their date night, and Buffy was settling in on the sofa while Spike checked on the kids upstairs. She was far from tired, she didn't think she'd be able to sleep at all that night. She could hear his footsteps above her in their bedroom and smiled, knowing he was changing into the sweats that she had bought for him. At first, a year ago, it had been funny to see him in them. But now, it was just a normal part of their night, and it gave her a warm fuzzy feeling.

Just as she reached for the remote, the front door crashed open. She jumped to her feet immediately, and prepared herself for whatever attack was coming as she ran to the door. There was no time for stealth, not when her family was in danger.

She felt Spike coming down the stairs just as fast as she had moved.

When she saw _who_ had broken into the house, she stood there, stunned. "_Angel_?"

"_Peaches_?" Spike said at the same time.

Buffy looked back at him, as if to stop him from starting something she knew would be unavoidable, then turned back to Angel. "What the _hell_ are you doing?"

She could see the anger in his eyes, and as he attempted to lunge at Spike, Buffy grabbed him and threw him outside, following closely. Spike stood in the doorway, guarding it with a smirk on his face.

"Are you insane?" Buffy asked as Angel recovered from her shove and looked past her at Spike. She punched him, catching his attention. "Answer me!"

When his eyes fell on hers, she could tell this was going to be one hell of an argument.

"Am _I_ insane? You let him in your house, you're... you're with _him_!" he yelled.

"Yeah, she is mate, an' has been for the last three years," Spike said from the porch. "So you might as well take your nancy boy self back to LA before you get 'urt."

Buffy spun around and sent Spike a commanding look. "Go back inside Spike, let me handle this."

"Like bloody hell. 'm not gonna leave you alone out 'ere with the likes of 'im," he said.

"Please," she said softly, and after a muttered curse and a threatening glare directed at Angel, he returned inside.

"How Buffy?" Angel asked, visibly hurt. "Why?"

She sighed. "I didn't mean for it to happen Angel... it just did. Spike has been there for me, _with_ me, through, well a lot of hard stuff... and I-..."

"Wow, even my house hasn't changed," someone said, walking out of the shadows. "It's just so... wow. I thought maybe six years later, it'd be all... you know, falling apart and stuff. Hey, where's mom?"

Buffy's attention turned to whoever it was that had interrupted her conversation with Angel, and her jaw literally dropped. Her being with Spike suddenly seemed less important of an issue.

"Oh my God! What did you do?" she asked, glaring at Angel.

He looked offended. "I didn't do _anything_. You-... _she_ showed up at my hotel."

"What is she?" Buffy asked, approaching her.

"_What_ am I? I'm you. Jeez, did I lose a few brain cells in the future too?"

"No, this isn't... how? How am I possibly standing here staring at... at me?" Buffy asked, reaching out to poke her.

"Hey, back off! Poking me isn't going to change anything," she said, as she craned her neck to see inside the house. "Is mom home? Maybe I shouldn't say anything to her, might wig her out, y'know?"

Buffy's expression softened as it turned to sadness. This was _her_. She could tell by the way her face lit up when she talked about her mom, like everything would be alright if she could just get a big mom hug. But that wouldn't happen.

"She's, uh, she's away on business - gallery conference thing," Buffy lied. If this really was her past self, she didn't need to explain that her mother would die so suddenly. "But you're right, she would be really freaked if she saw you. Why don't we-..."

"Where's Willow?" PBuffy asked, barely noticing she had interrupted.

"She's probably at her house... why?"

PBuffy didn't even appear to hear her. "I am such an idiot. Giles! Giles knows everything, how could I forget him?"

"Giles isn't here," Buffy said plainly. "He went back to England a year ago."

"He left me?" PBuffy asked, although it really wasn't much of a question, more like a surprised statement. "But he's my Watcher... how am I supposed to know what to do without him?"

Buffy tried her best to put on a smile. "Things have changed... things are complicated now, but not all bad. The only thing you can count on to stay the same in this town is the vampires," she said.

"Well, isn't that comforting," PBuffy said.

Buffy turned to Angel. "When did this happen?"

"Six months ago," he said. "We don't know how or why she was brought here. The last thing that she remembers is being at the Bronze, and then she just wasn't anymore. I've researched every possible book I know, but haven't found any answers. Earlier today I called Willow and told her we would be on our way down. I could tell in her voice that something was up, but I never expected _this_."

"Yeah well, I can't say I expected _this_ either. So, uh, is that the only reason you came?" she asked nervously.

"Yes," he answered simply, and she nodded. "Why? Is there more? You didn't _marry_ him did you?"

Buffy laughed. "Marry? No... but, there is something that we need to talk about. And it'd be best if we did it alone," she said, glancing over at PBuffy.

Angel nodded. "But I don't feel right leaving her alone."

"This is _my_ town," PBuffy butted in. "And like she... I... whatever, said, the only thing that hasn't changed is the vampires... so I should be all good. I'll just go take care of some slayage and meet you guys back here."

Buffy looked weary about the idea. "_Or_ you can meet us at Willow's. I'll give you her address. And she already knows your coming, so it won't be a big shock to her system."

PBuffy smiled. "I can't wait to see her, I miss her so much. I wonder if she's still with Oz, that would be totally cute."

"Uh, about Willow..."

~/~/~

Twenty minutes later, Buffy walked with Angel along the streets of Sunnydale. The town was quiet, it was only a few hours until sunrise, and the locals knew better than to be wandering the streets that late at night.

Being around Angel again hadn't affected her the way she had expected. Maybe she was too shaken from finding out a past version of herself had somehow travelled through time. Or maybe it was the fear inside her of Angel finding Connor and taking him away.

That is why she needed to tell him. If he stumbled across his son with Spike, things would end badly. Maybe if she told him truthfully he would be more understanding. She could only hope.

"There's a lot more to my relationship with Spike than you know," she started. "It didn't just happen one day because I was lonely, or... I don't know. It didn't just _happen_."

Angel looked over at her, and she could tell he was trying to control his anger and jealousy out of his respect for her. "Then why?"

Buffy let out a heavy sigh. "It's complicated."

He laughed. "I think as far as complicated relationships go, we won that trophy."

"I love you Angel, I always will. But what I have with Spike, the way that I _love_ him, it's different. When you left, I was... I was broken. I didn't think I would ever find happiness with anyone else," she said. "But Spike... he knows me. He knows who I am, _what_ I am and he loves me for all my bad and good. He's never once denied what he's done... he's only ever wanted to be better - and he is. He's changed, and I know you two have this whole sibling rivalry thing going on, but maybe if you just sat down and-..."

"Not going to happen Buffy, you can't just forget two hundred years of bad blood," he interrupted.

"I guess, but-..."

"But nothing, Spike is tricking you into thinking that he's changed, when really he's probably been plotting this all along. Spike doesn't love, he obsesses. He wouldn't know real love if it came up and punched him in the face. _He _doesn't deserve you Buffy, he-..."

"Enough!" she snapped. "LA might be your town, but this is _mine_. And frankly, interrupting is just plain rude. Whatever bad things you have to say about Spike, I'm sure he has just as many in return - I don't care anymore. The feud you two have going is stupid and pointless, but I'm not going to waste my breath trying to stop it if you aren't willing. _This_ is not why I wanted to talk to you, there are way more important things. So if you can't save it, then you might as well leave."

Angel sighed, but nodded silently.

"I don't know to say this, I guess there really isn't any _easy_ way... but you need to know because I'm not going to keep lying to you, especially since you're here and clearly, back in good health."

"How did you..." he started, but she eyed him and he quickly stopped himself.

Buffy took a deep breath before continuing. "Almost three years ago, Wesley showed up at my house. He said it was an emergency, and he needed my help - that _you _needed my help. He told me all about what happened to you, how you went..." she let that part trail off, not feeling comfortable to complete it. "And so he needed me to, well, to... to take care of... your son." Buffy had never seen such a look in Angel's eyes before. It was a mixture of everything - happiness, anger, hate, sadness. She didn't know what he would do, how he would react, but she felt like she had to keep explaining. "You aren't going to want to hear this, I know. But it's better if you hear it from me... _why_ me and Spike happened, is because of him... because of Connor. Spike has been helping me, and he's done an amazing job Angel, you-..."

He turned to face her, the only emotion left in his eyes was smoldering anger. "_Spike_ has been raising _my_ son?"

"Angel, it isn't like it seems, really..."

"You let him? You, of all people, know how I feel about Spike and _you_ let him," he said, his jaw clenched.

"You don't understand. Please, just listen..."

"I'll kill him," he growled.

"I won't let you," she said defensively, yet barely in a whisper.

His eyes lingered on hers, dark and dangerous - and for the first time since Angelus, they terrified her. "You can try."

She stood frozen as he walked away from her coldly. She didn't know what to do, but she knew where she had to go - _home_.

~/~/~

AN: I feel kinda "meh" about this chapter.. kinda boring, but hope you all enjoyed and let me know what you think :) !


	14. Chapter 14

Author's Note: Thank you kindly for all the reviews :) Much appreciated! Angel's gang _may_ be included in a few chapters or so, but I'm still working out ideas and such, so I'm honestly not sure!

~.~.~

Buffy had ran faster than she could remember doing in a long time - maybe even ever. She _had_ to beat Angel to the house, if she didn't, she had no idea what she would face when she got there. Lucky for her, Angel had probably been too angry to run, and would have just stalked there instead. Or at least she prayed he had.

When she arrived at her destination, she didn't bother to look around for a sign of Angel, she plowed right inside. She found Spike on the sofa, watching her with an amused look.

"Wha's got your panties all in a bunch luv? Angelus lose that pesky soul of his 'gain?"

She paused for a minute to catch her breath. "What is it with you two? Even in the most serious of times you still manage to bicker with each other. No, he did not lose his soul, he's on his way here to kill you and I'm starting to forget why that's such a _bad_ idea," she said with a glare.

He stood and smirked. "Peaches 's comin' to kill _me_? Well now, isn't that a change, wonder if he 'as the balls to do it this time. That poof 'as been tryin' to off me for centuries, no worries luv, he won't succeed. Not while Big Bad's still kickin'."

"Big ba-...? Never mind," she said with a shake of her head. "Can you just go?"

"Go?" he laughed. "Yeah, sure thing Slayer. Like me to tuck my tail between my legs while I do so? Bloody well think not. If Peaches wants a fight, I'll give 'im one he won't soon forget."

"Do you even care _why_ he wants to kill you?" she asked, and he shrugged. "He knows Spike..."

She watched as his demeanor changed from cocky to scared, yet he hid it well underneath the anger. "So the bastard thinks he can come back three years after the fact and take 'im from me, eh? 's not gonna happen. That boy is _mine_."

"Spike," she said softly, reaching for him, but he pulled away from her touch. "Don't do this," she begged.

He ignored her as he walked past her and out onto the front porch, waiting. She followed him and thought desperately about how she could put an end to all of this, but drew nothing but a blank. Whatever it was between Spike and Angel, it predated her by a _lot_ of years. This was something that was out of her control, and she hated it. She knew quite well how dangerous each of them was when they were angry - hell, they had both tried to kill _her_ at some point in their past.

"So, what? You're just going to stand there and wait for him?" she asked, already knowing the answer. "Well don't expect me to watch."

"Prefer it if you didn't, actually. This could get quite messy," he said, coldly. "Wouldn't want you to jump in and get yourself hurt."

"Get myself hurt? My main concern here is you ending up as a pile of ashes on my lawn," she snapped.

Spike turned to face her, the same dark look she had seen in Angel's eyes was now present in his blue ones. "That so? Sure 's me you're so concerned about pet, or is it your precious Angel?"

"That's not fair and you know it. I'm with _you_ aren't I? If I wanted to protect Angel, don't you suppose I would've chased him down and tried to stop him from getting himself killed?" she let out a heavy sigh as she turned her gaze to the street. "When will you two put away this stupid feud and realize that Connor is the most-..."

"This, all of this, is about Connor," he interrupted.

Buffy knew he was right in some way. Despite their mutual hatred for each other, generally they could be persuaded to turn the other cheek - alright, maybe not _generally_, but occasionally. And Buffy was always the one doing the persuading. Yet this time, it was beyond her.

"Well, well, look who finally arrived," Spike said as he descended the stairs in a cocky swagger. "Beautiful night, ain't it Peaches? Jus' perfect for a bloodbath - like old times, eh?"

"Spike," Angel growled, before lunging at him, ramming himself into Spike's torso and sending them both to the ground. Angel lifted his body up and took the opportunity to throw a quick punch at Spike's jaw before being pushed off.

Spike stood and casually wiped the dirt from his clothes. "You wanna play dirty? I'll give you dirty," he said, crouching down and sweeping his leg around to knock Angel from his feet. Once down, Spike pounced on him and returned the hit he had recieved, along with one to the ribs.

Angel used his lower body to shove Spike from him, then jumped to his feet, and lunged at Spike in another attack. He hit Spike, Spike hit him. Spike kicked him, he kicked Spike.

Buffy watched from the porch as the two vampires fought, trading blow for blow. She didn't know why she was just standing there, she should have already made an attempt to stop it, even if it was only that. It wasn't fear holding her back, being the Slayer, fear was never a factor when it came to battle.

Maybe she _knew_ they needed to do it. She knew that she wouldn't let it get too far, no one would walk away hurt - or, at least, fatally hurt. What were a few bruises and broken bones anyway? If it helped to settle things, or even if it just helped to tire them out, she would let it play out for as long as needed.

Minutes later, she let out a sigh and crossed her arms. As shamefully amusing as it was to watch the two fight, she knew that now was the time to stop it. Angel's lip was cracked and bleeding, his speed had decreased dramatically, and his shirt was all but tore from his chest. Spike's swagger had diminshed and he walked with a slight limp, his left eye was black and blue, and his normally slicked back hair was a tangle of curls.

Buffy had a _small_ amount of pride that Spike was the lesser damaged of the two, but didn't dare show it, knowing he would never let her forget it if she did.

"Alright, alright," she said, as she moved to stand between them, glaring daggers at each of them. "No more, you two look bad enough as is and you've only been fighting for a few minutes."

"We're not done here," Angel spit out.

"Oh yes, yes you are," she replied. "This is my lawn, my town, and _my_ boyfriend. Back off."

"Come on Slayer, we were jus' 'avin' little fun is all," Spike said from behind her. "Well, I suppose _I_ was anyway, Peaches 'ere seems to 'ave been 'avin more pain than anythin'."

Angel rushed towards him, but Buffy grabbed a fistfull of his shirt and tossed him to the side, then turned to Spike and punched his jaw.

"Stop provoking him or _I_ will be the one having all the fun," she said. Once Angel recovered, he returned to stand beside Buffy. "Please, just leave. You can come back tomorrow night, preferably calm, and we talk about this like adults, not children."

"I'm not leaving," he said harshly.

"She's right Angel, just let it go. It can wait until tomorrow," PBuffy said as she appeared on the lawn.

Spike rubbed his eyes roughly before laughing. "Am I seein' what I think I'm seein'? _Two_ Buffys? My my, isn't this interestin'. I wonder if she's the same in the-..."

"Slaying department," Buffy cut in. "Spike was about to say he wonders if you're the same in the _slaying department_, weren't you Spike?"

He smirked. "If tha's what you wanna call it luv. How'd you manage this one Peaches? Got bored of your 'and an' cooked yourself up a Buffy?"

Buffy sent him a piercing stare. "First off, _ew_. Second, he did not cook up anything, he doesn't know why she's here... she somehow time travelled... or so we think."

Spike raised an eyebrow as he scanned PBuffy. "Now that you mention it, she does look 'lot younger than you," he said. "Course back then I would've been-..."

"Trying to kill me, yeah," PBuffy interrupted. "And yet, here you are, apparently all googley eyes over my future self. How pathetic can you get?"

"Ey now, your future self jus' so 'appens to be all "googley eyes" over yours truly too," he said.

"Not that this fourth grade schoolyard scene isn't entertaining, but it's nearly sunrise and if I remember correctly, you two go poof when that happens," Buffy said. "So, Angel please, let's all go get some rest and get this out of our system tomorrow."

He didn't appear to be thrilled about the idea, but Angel nodded nonetheless. "He better not be here when I come."

Buffy looked to Spike, then back to Angel. "He won't."

She watched as he turned and stalked off. PBuffy sent her a small smile and wave before following him. Part of Buffy wanted to offer her a place to stay, but she knew that if that was her - which, technically it _was_ - then she'd rather be with Angel, wherever they intended on going.

When Buffy turned around to face Spike, he was staring back at her with a defiant glare. "You're not serious Buffy, you're bloody well kickin' me out? For _that _wanker?"

She sighed as she walked past him and headed inside, he followed her. "I'm not kicking you anywheres Spike, I'm asking you to let Angel come over for a few hours so we can talk, about _his_ son... then you can come back. I just... I can't handle the drama that follows when you two are together. You really don't want Connor to see that, do you?"

"Of course not, but 'ave you even considered _my_ feelings on this? That boy is like a-..."

"Duh! Do you think I'm _that_ coldhearted? Spike, you are such a huge part of his life, you've been with him for three years. Angel can never replace what you've done for him, he can never replace _you_. Like, when he tripped over that stump in the park and cut his eyebrow open real bad, who was there to pick him up and tell him everything would be okay? - You. And who stayed by his side in the hospital while he had to get four stitches and was scared out of his mind? - You. Connor will always love you Spike, but if you deny him the chance and _right_ to know his father, you might as well throw that all away. Because ten years down the road, he'll hate you for it," she said, then smiled softly. "I'm not telling you to stop protecting him. I know how you feel about Angel, but trust me enough to know that I'm not going to let him waltz in and take Connor away from us..."

He sighed as he rested against the living room doorway. "Two hours, then I'm comin' back, an' if that ponce is still here, I'll-..."

"Two hours and he's gone, I promise," she interruped as she approached him, pressing her body into his ever so lightly. "Now, have I thanked you for being so mildly pleasant about all of this?"

He smirked down at her as she looked up at him with innocence in her eyes. "Not yet, but 've got a few ideas on how you can get started luv."

"Mhm," she said, pulling her body away from his. "And do any of those ideas involve _whipped cream_ and _handcuffs_?"

He reached out and grabbed her waist, moving her body back into his forcefully. "You better not be teasin' Slayer, or I'll make you pay for it."

Buffy leaned up and touched her lips to his in a soft, seductive kiss before backing out of his hold and walked towards the kitchen, swaying her hips in a way that drove him insane. She glanced over her shoulder and sent him a sly smile. "Oh I hope you will. I'll get the whipped cream, _you_ get the handcuffs."

She didn't need to say another word, Spike bolted up the stairs so fast he thought he might not be able to stop.

~.~.~

The motel room was small; it consisted of a bed, a chair, and a dresser with a TV ontop. The walls were bland, and there was no decor aside from a few terrible paintings that depicted Sunnydale at its finest.

But Angel wasn't complaining - he hadn't even noticed. He was still fuming from his run in with Spike a little over an hour ago. There were no words to describe how he had felt when Buffy had told him that his son was alive and _Spike_ was helping her take care of him.

As mad as he was about being lied to for _three_ years about the death of his son, he understood why it had been kept a secret. He was not suited to be a parent; it didn't mean he didn't love Connor, because he did, he just wasn't sure he'd know how to raise him. Without a doubt he trusted Buffy's ability to - but not _him_.

Just thinking about it sent a fresh wave of rage through his body. Without realizing what he was doing, he picked up a nearby lamp and threw it violently at the wall.

"Calm down," he heard _her_ say softly as she placed a hand on his arm. She showed no fear of him, but why would she? He would _never_ harm her. "We'll get through this, _all_ of this, together."

It surprised him how her words worked like magic to settle his anger. He suddenly didn't feel so mad, so full of hate. When he looked into the familiar green eyes staring up at him lovingly, he let go of everything but what he felt in that moment, and many past ones they had shared - happy, peaceful, _loved_.

She reached up and gently cupped a small hand to his cheek while she held her uncertain, but genuine smile. "Together," she repeated.

The temptation to kiss her was intensifying every moment they were alone together. He didn't know how much longer he could continue without breaking - he didn't know how he hadn't yet. _This_ was why he had left Sunnydale, and Buffy, in the first place.

He placed one of his hands over hers and returned the smile, although his was slightly more forced. "Always."

They stood there, staring into each others eyes for what seemed like hours, but was only seconds. He could tell it was killing her as much as him to be so close to each other, yet so far away.

"I want to kiss you," she whispered, fearful for _another_ rejection.

Maybe _one_ kiss wouldn't hurt - maybe he could control himself just enough to not let things get too far. But what if he couldn't? What if he couldn't stop himself and he unleashed his own demon. One that would not rest until every person who he loved was tortured or dead. Knowing Connor was alive and healthy, he couldn't risk losing his son again by acting so foolishly out of lust.

He sighed as he gently removed her hand from his face and leaned down, kissing her softly on the forehead. "I want to Buffy, but you kno-..."

"Yeah," she interrupted, her tone sad, but with a hint of defiance. "I know... So, um, there's one bed, two of us, how are we going to go about this?" she asked, trying her best to change the subject.

"You can have the bed, I'll take the floor. Or, the chair doesn't look _too_ lumpy," he added with a smile.

She nodded as she pulled back the blanket on the bed and climbed into it. "Goodmorning Angel."

"Goodmorning Buffy," he said, watching her silently for a brief minute before heading to the bathroom. "Sweet dreams, my love," he added in barely a whisper.

~.~.~

AN: Okay, so am I ruining the story with the Bangel action? Give me your opinion on it, and I'll adjust according to :) It's apparent that some want Buffy to kick Angel's ass, so I can make it happen ;) I hope you guys enjoyed, let me know :) !


	15. Chapter 15

Author's Note: Thank you again to all my lovely reviewers! I promise the Bangel will be gone ASAP, sorry if that got under your skin! Also, thank you for all the flags as well, much appreciated :) !

I didn't even remember that Connor's name is actually spelled Conner... my bad! But I don't think that's _too_ big of a deal, eh? :)

~.~.~

The atmosphere in the Summers house had been tense since Angel's unexpected arrival. No one had been thrilled over the idea of him being a part of their lives after going so long without him. It had just been the four of them for the last three years, working together and creating a family that despite their obvious issues, was a happy one.

Spike had been especially vocal about Angel's appearance. As apparent as it was from their first encounter, the past they shared was unable to be buried. It didn't help that they had the habit of provoking each other into violent fits either. Oddly enough, what had upset Spike the most was not his unwanted reunion with his grandsire, but the reunion between two former lovers. He was well aware that Buffy would always have a connection with Angel, and it worried him that she would suddenly have a change of heart and fall back into his arms.

Of course Buffy and himself had grown exceptionally close over the past three years, and raising Connor had been only one of the reasons. There had always been an unspoken connection between them as well, ever since the first time they'd met and had been intent on killing one understood what the other _needed_, what made them who they were, and although it may not have happened at first sight, like with the Poof - it _had_ happened.

What Spike shared with Buffy was more than just some silly first crush, it was real, raw, hate your guts but love them just as much, love - and he would not let it slip away from him.

"Mornin'," Buffy said cheerfuly as she walked into the kitchen, Spike sitting at the island as he drank his mug of blood.

He raised an eyebrow at her as she bounced around to the fridge. "Can't really be considered mornin' since we never went to sleep, now can it luv?"

"Uh, heck yeah it can. Morning is morning, regardless of whether or not you go to sleep. Although, I suppose technically, this is _your_ bed time, isn't it?"

"Supposed to be, yet 'ere I am, alert as ever," he said.

"Aw, is Spikey a whipped little vampire?" she teased. "You've been hanging around with us humans for far too long."

"You suggestin' I don't then? Maybe Captain Forehead can take a bloke's place," he hissed. "Bet you'd enjoy that, wouldn't 'cha Slayer?"

Buffy let out a sigh as she rested her back against the counter, facing him. "This again? Really? Angel is my past Spike, you know that. If I wanted him to move in here, don't you think your ass would be on the curb by now? Or, I could just be playing it cool, you know? Waiting for the right time to stick a pointy metaphorical stake through your unbeating heart? That would be harsh, but I bet Angel would love it," she finished, rolling her eyes.

"Think your funny, eh? Wouldn't be the first time you done it," he snapped. "'sides, if the ponce takes my place, you might actually 'ave a shot at makin' this "normal family" thing work. He _is _the boy's father, right?"

"I'm not doing this with you. It's ridiculous. No matter how many times I tell you that I want _you_, you're always going to think, even if only in the back of your head, that I'm going to go running to Angel. You, Connor and Dawn are my family, normal or not. You were the one who helped me realize that I didn't even want normal, and here you are telling me I do? Well, _William_, what about Drusilla, huh? Your precious dark princess? What if she ever came into the picture again, do I get to act all crazy jealous girl?" she asked, then laughed. "Actually, that would _never_ happen... I mean Dru? Like she's got anything on me - _me_."

"An' they say _I'm_ a cocky bastard," he said, standing. He walked over to her and rested his body against hers, dipping his head and grazing her neck with his fangs ever so gently. "Incase you're so quick to forget, Slayer, I was willin' to drive a not so metaphorical stake through Dru's 'art jus' to prove my love for you. If she was to come back, she'd be a pile a dust 'fore you 'ver saw 'er. An' yet, Peaches is still walkin' 'round like he owns the damn place."

She wanted _so_ bad to be mad at him, push him away and maybe even hit him - but the feeling of his body against hers, his mouth at her neck, caused her ability to do so to melt away - along with the rest of herself.

"Angel is not a pyschotic murderer," was the only protest she managed to get out.

"That so? Well I reckon the Angel I know used to be quite the-..."

"The Angel you _knew _is dead. I'm sure the Spike _he_ knew was quite the killer himself. But I don't see him around, do you?"

He cocked his head and looked down into her eyes, a playful smile lingering on his lips. "I can bring 'im out if you want a taste pet," he purred.

"You really know how to turn a girl on," she said sarcastically.

He smirked. "I know 'ow to turn a _Slayer_ on. Your memory must not be doin' very good, vampire 'ere," he said, his gaze travelling down her body. "'m surprised Peaches can't-..."

"Don't even _think_ what you were going to say," she said, bringing her hand to his cheek. "Just kiss me already, and show me how much you know about Slayers."

"One might conside tha' a challenge," he whispered, his arms encircling her waist.

She smiled up at him. "One might be right... the Spike _I_ know loves a good challenge."

Yellow flecks flashed in his oceanic blue eyes as he lifted her from the floor, and she wrapped her legs around his waist as he pulled her into him. "That I do pet, that I do," he said as he carried her up to their bedroom.

~.~.~

Later that night, Spike had left the house. He hadn't gone very easily, protesting every sentence that came from Buffy's mouth, while making his own ludicrous demands that she had quickly shot down. He had actually wanted Buffy to videotape the whole encounter, to make sure that "Peaches" didn't try anything he shouldn't. Or, he insisted, he could always eavesdrop from outside, _of course _he'd stay hidden so that Angel wouldn't notice him, but he'd be there - just incase.

It wasn't easy for Buffy to dismiss his ideas, but after a few lengthy threats, Spike gave in and stalked off - making it clear he'd be back in _two_ hours and not a minute later.

As Buffy tidied up the living room, a swarm of butterflies hit her stomach. Not the nervous lovey kind, but the scared out of your mind kind. What if Angel decided to take Connor away? Everything had changed once he had found out about Spike. She didn't know if she'd be able to reason with him, to salvage any chance she had to convince him that she only wanted the best for Connor.

_Knock Knock_

The sound of the door pulled her out of her depressing thoughts, and she headed to answer it. When she opened it, she wasn't surprised to find Angel standing in front of her, waiting.

"Hi," she said softly, moving away so he could walk inside. "Come in."

He nodded before following her into the living room. They sat down together on the sofa in silence, unsure of how to start the conversation.

"I, um, I thought it'd be best if we talk first. You know, settle things before you see him... it might help, I guess..." she said, akwardly.

"That's a good idea," he said.

She sighed as she mindlessly played with her hands. "Promise me you won't take him away Angel...I know... I know he's _your_ son, but I, well, I love him so much. And this is the only home he's known, to just pack his things and send him off... he'd be so confused."

He let out a sigh himself. "I didn't come here knowing... I never came with the intention of taking him away, because I thought he was dead. I know why Wesley brought him to you, who else would I trust my own son with? - No one. And no one would be able to protect him if I would've... I know that _you_ love him, and I know that _you _have taken good care of him. But _Spike_? You let him in, you let him around _my_ son when you're well aware of how much I _hate_ him. I just, I don't know if I can forgive that Buffy."

She finally managed to lift her gaze from her lap and look over at him, this time with a defiant gleam in her eye. "I'm not asking for your forgiveness Angel, I think we're well past that. I did what I thought was right, and if you could have seen Spike with Connor, you might have been able to put your anger aside and see how much he truly loves him. Spike has been nothing but a godsend. Connor adores him, and if you take the only father figure he's ever known out of his life, I can guarantee that is something you'll regret in the future. None of this is about me, or you or Spike... it's about Connor. And he deserves the best. I would never deny you your son Angel, that's not... I don't even have the right to do that. But it's been _three_ years - there is no way in hell that I will walk away from him." Angel smiled, and she let out an irritated sigh. "What could you possibly be smiling about?"

"As mad as I am right now, as _jealous_ as I am, I see how happy you are. Here, with Connor, and Dawn, and... _him_. I don't understand it, I definitely don't like it, but the last time I saw that in your eyes... was when you loved me. And funny as it is, that was this morning," he said, attempting to joke, but the pain was evident in his voice. "I won't take Connor away from you. You're right, he deserves the best, and as far as parenting goes, I don't think I can be that for him. _You_ can. It's the _him_ part that I can't let go."

"Thank you, really... but I won't give up Spike... and I'm sure as hell Connor won't either. It's all of us or none of us, and that's never gonna change. I am happy, we're all happy, and as wrong as it may be, it feels right. I really can't stop you from taking Connor, he is _your_ son, but he's been _my _everything for the last three years. I know you Angel, and I know you don't act on a whim, you think things through and you do what's best. As much as I hate to put it all in your hands, I trust you. Whatever decision you make, I'll agree to it. But either way, I will _always_ be in Connor's life, that is something you would have to kill me in order to change."

He nodded with a small smile. "Trust me, I believe you. I'm sorry if I caused you any pain Buffy, that wasn't my plan. But I'm _not_ sorry for hitting Spike - that, that felt pretty good... no, _really_ good."

She smiled. "I'm sure it did. And your little display of non-affection made it nice and clear to me that you two are _never_ going to get over this."

"No, we're not. Not as long as we're both still breathing, so to speak. But you, you I can talk to - you I can reason with."

"Glad to hear it. Cause we're gonna be doing _a lot_ of reasoning," she said, trying her best to put on a stern face, but it softened. "It's good to see you, healthy and all, even though... well, I might be with Spike, and despite you being back, that isn't going to change, but still... it's good to see you - pure platonicy."

He laughed. "You always had a way with words Buffy. It's better than good to see you too..."

She nodded. "So, I guess you wanna meet your son, huh? That is why you're here and all... he's, um, he's upstairs with Dawn. Just let me go up and get him..."

"Take your time," he said, watching her as she stood and quickly climbed the stairs.

Once Buffy reached the upper level, she paused in front of Dawn's bedroom. Sure, the conversation with Angel had went rather smoothly, more so than she had expected. But who knew what would happen when he _saw_ his son? Everything he had been so quick to agree to could just as easily be thrown out of the window.

None of this was easy - not even from the first day she had met Connor. She had always known that Angel would find out the truth, and that he would come looking for his only son. Okay, so maybe he hadn't _found_ out, more like _stumbled_ across it, but all the same - she had never once ignored the possibility.

Even during the family moments that she had spent with Spike, Connor, and Dawn - she had never forgotten.

And now that it was actually happening, and going better than she could have ever hoped - bloody brawls aside - she felt like she needed to slow everything down. It was happening too fast. Angel had only shown up in Sunnydale hours earlier, and to add to it, he hadn't been alone, but with _her_. Or, kind of anyway. Maybe Connor wasn't ready to meet Angel - but if she didn't introduce them now, would that change his decision?

_What decision? He never told you what he was going to do now - he's only going to be thinking about it_, she thought. _And if I don't do it, he'll probably stay longer... and how much longer can he stay? Alive... between him and Spike, they'll kill each other before I get the chance to._

After taking several deep breaths, Buffy gathered any amount of courage she had, along with her love for Connor, and opened the bedroom door.

The teenager and toddler sat on the bed, apparently acting out scenes from _The Wiggles_, Connor's favourite TV show, with stuffed animals.

"Dorothoy the dinosaur-... hey Buff," Dawn said, cutting herself off when she realized her sister was watching them from the doorway. "Whatcha doin'?"

Buffy smiled as she walked in, sitting down beside Connor and wrapping an arm around the small boy. "Oh, just watching you make a fool of yourself - and loving every second of it."

Dawn laughed lightly before her expression turned serious. "Is he, uh, ready?..."

Buffy nodded. "He is... hey Con, remember that friend I was telling you about earlier?" when he nodded in response, she continued. "Well he's downstairs and he _really _wants to meet you. Think you can be a big boy and come with me?"

Buffy had thought many times over the years he'd been with her how she would introduce Connor to Angel. Should she just come out and say, "here's your daddy", or maybe "this is your uncle"... In the end she had decided it would be best to start with something simple, yet truthful. Angel was technically her friend, and she thought it to be the best way for Connor to warm up to him.

Connor looked down at the stuffed pig he held in his hands. "Can I bring Gord?"

Buffy laughed. What used to be an attempt at saying "Mr. Gordo" a year ago, had turned into his usual name for the pig now. "Of course you can, I'm sure Angel would love to see his old friend Gord."

"Okay, I'm ready," he said, jumping from the bed. "Can we have ice-cream?"

Buffy gently ran her hand along the top of his head. "Sure sweetie."

As they left, Buffy glanced over her shoulder at her younger sister one last time, who sent her a reassuring smile. When they reached the top of the stairs, Connor slipped his hand into Buffy's, and she held it tightly as they headed down to the living room.

It surprised her how much the warmth of his little touch calmed her nerves, as if he was trying to tell her everything would be okay. He couldn't possibly know that, or understand what exactly was happening. But his innocence always worked magic on her.

They turned the corner, and Buffy watched as Angel's eyes fell onto Connor. She had never, _never_ seen that look on his face before - happiness, peace, pride, excitment - so many emotions wrapped into one that he would have never been able to explain what he had felt at that moment.

"Connor, this is my friend Angel," Buffy said softly, kneeling down beside him. "Can you say hi?"

Connor had always been shy around new people. When he was at home, now that was a different story.

He reached over and clung tightly to Buffy's side. "Hi," he mumbled, barely audible, yet Angel heard it perfectly.

Angel squatted down in front of them, but was careful not to crowd him. He didn't want to scare Connor during their first meeting - or to better word it, reunion. The last time he had seen his son, Connor had been barely a few weeks old.

"Hi there," Angel said. "My name's Angel, can you tell me your name?"

Connor pulled away from Buffy's side slightly, and took in Angel's presence for the first time. "Connor. I three."

"You're three? Wow, aren't you a big boy Connor," he said, extending his hand. "Is that Mr. Gordo you're holding? Do you think you can show him to me? It's been a long time since I've seen him."

Connor smiled immediately. "He's Gord. You miss him?"

Angel nodded. "I missed him very much," he said, his words intended for Connor, not the stuffed pig.

"Sweetie, why don't you go sit on the sofa with Angel and I'll get us all some ice-cream?" Buffy asked, standing up as Connor released his grip on her.

"Okay," he said cheerfully, before taking Angel's hand and leading him over to sit down. "You gonna live here?" he asked, looking up at Angel curiously.

He laughed. "No, I won't be living here. But I'd like to come and visit you - maybe even take you out for some treats, if Buffy says its okay."

Buffy stood in the doorway, resting against the wall as she watched them briefly. She hesitated before answering, a little uncertain about what she should say. "That'd be fine, just... not yet. Soon, though."

"Of course," Angel said, sending her a smile of appreciation before turning back to Connor. "So tell me all about yourself."

"My like ice-cream," he said with a wide grin.

"That, little guy, is an understatement," Buffy said, then disappeared into the kitchen, listening contently as Connor filled Angel in on _all_ of his favourite flavours.

~.~.~

"Spikey!" Connor yelled when he heard the front door open. He moved from his place next to Angel on the sofa and ran to the entrance way. He wrapped his arms securely around Spike's thighs. "You home!"

Spike laughed as he ruffled the hair on top of Connor's head. "Yeah bitty bit, I home. Where's the Buff at?"

"Kitchen," he replied. "Come meet Angel, he nice."

A low growl escaped Spike's throat at the sound of _his_ name coming from Connor's mouth. He should have picked up on the familiar scent of his grandsire, but had been distracted by the toddler at his legs.

"Con, why don't you go find Auntie Dawn? I bet she's hidin' in 'er room with a bag a cookies," he said calmly, and watched as the little boy scampered upstairs. He waited to hear Dawn's voice before barging into the living. "What the bloody 'ell are you still doin' 'ere? I thought I made myself quite clear when I said I'd be back in _two_ 'ours, and 'ere it is, two hours, but you're not gone Peaches."

"He's _my_ son Spike," Angel spit out, intentionally knowing it would spark even more rage. "I can stay as long as I want to."

"Oh like 'ell you can. This is my house now, you best get yourself outta 'ere before I gladly do it for ya," he said, inching closer.

Angel opened his arms. "I'm standing right here Spike, do something."

"With pleasure," Spike growled, lunging at him. The two went crashing down onto the coffee table, splintering it in half. Spike stood, grabbing Angel by the collar of his shirt and bringing him up with him, then cocked his fist and landed a punch square on his jaw.

Angel raised his left hand and returned the same, before pushing Spike away with his right. He was about to attack, when a bolt of searing pain shot through the back of his skull. He turned on his heels, his face no longer in human form, to find a very pissed off Slayer staring back at him, a leg from the broken table in her hand.

"You idiots!" she yelled. "Connor is _upstairs_, or have you two forgotten that already? My God, act like grown-ups, you are practically old enough to be my great-great-great-great grandfathers!"

"Actually pet, it'd be great-great-... nevermind," Spike started, but stopped when she sent him a piercing glare. "He started it," he accused, pointing his finger at Angel.

"I did not! _He_ started it," Angel retorted.

"Do I look like I care?" Buffy asked. "Not only have you broken my favourite coffee table, but you've probably alerted half the block! Out, now, both of you," she ordered, and when they didn't move, she started to shoo them. "Out!"

The two vampires shared glares as they silently walked out of the house, Buffy behind them. She stopped in the doorway and watched as Spike paused a few feet away, Angel down on the bottom step.

"Buffy, luv, can I come in now?" he asked, giving her his best 'I'm sorry' look.

She only smirked in return. "No, you cannot come in. In fact, you can't come in until you two come to some sort of agreement. If that has to end with a pile of dust, so be it... I'm not putting up with it anymore. So, come back when you've grown up, or when you've won," she said, with a innocent smile directed at Angel. "Oh, and get your Buffy to stop by the Magic Box tomorrow at noon, we _adults _need to figure out a way to help her... me... whatever. I'm sure you children will find a way to, uh, amuse yourselves."

And with that, the door slammed shut.

"Great, see wha' you did," Spike scoffed, turning to face Angel.

"What _I_ did? Clearly, this is all _your_ fault," he said.

"Oh right, blame it all on Spike. Jus' cause you 'ave tha' soul, doesn't mean you're the only good vamp 'round now. Matter of fact, I didn't even need tha' pesky thing, I got good 'cause I wanted to," he said with a satisfied smile.

Angel laughed. "You _became_ good, because the goverment put a chip in your brain. I'm surprised they could fit it in there, it's pretty tiny."

"Well, at least I got somethin' to make up for it, wha's your excuse, poor circulation?"

"That's it, you're dead," Angel growled.

Spike laughed as he rocked on his heels. "Yeah mate, kinda got that already. An' you say I got a small brain? Ain't that the pot callin' the kettle black."

"Spike," he warned, jaw clenched.

"Don't tell me I'm pushin' those pretty little buttons of yours Peaches? You know whose buttons Big Bad's real good at pushin'?" he asked, allowing time for the question to set in before continuing with a smirk. "Buffy's."

The next thing Spike knew, he was on the ground laughing as Angel pinned him down, his yellow eyes burning with hatred.

~.~.~

AN: So I have three or so more chapters before I'm going to end this. I hope you guys enjoyed this chap, please review and let me know what you thought :) !


	16. Chapter 16

Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews :) You guys are awesome! I personally love Spike and Angel fighting, but I needed her to kick his butt out for this next part to be possible. I'm putting a warning here because there is _attempted _rape in this chapter. So if you're uncomfortable with it, please don't read :)

~.~.~

Books. _A lot_ of books. That was all Buffy had seemed to process over the entire morning. She had never been research girl - that had always been Giles duty, and even Willow's, with the occasional help from Xander. But Buffy? No, she was slay girl, not research girl.

After three hours of reading, her brain ached with an overload of information that she could not even begin to remember.

Her only thought that seemed to be consistant was Spike, and more specifically the look on his face when she had slammed the front door on it. It wasn't like he hadn't deserved it, because he did. His constant bickering with Angel had gotten to be too much - I mean _twelve_ years of hearing about it was enough to drive a girl crazy. They were like an old bitter married couple - one was not content unless the other was suffering, _imensely_.

At first it had amused her, she hadn't thought it was possible to ruffle Angel's feathers in such a way that Spike had the tendancy to. It hadn't taken long before the amusement died and annoyance took it's place. They had been undead for centuries, you'd think they would've picked up some communication skills along the way. Instead, they had managed to perfect the skill of annoying her.

"I can't take it anymore," Buffy said, letting her head fall onto the open book infront of her. "All these words, most of which I've never heard of, they're all just mushing together... so _not_ of the good."

"You get used to it," Xander said, patting her gently on the back. "I prefer the ones with pictures - much easier to grasp."

"Thanks for the tip," she said with a groan. "Will, _please_ tell me you found something... anything..."

The red-headed wicca looked up from her laptop and smiled apologetically. "Nothing as of yet - but I have hope."

"Hope is good, yet surprisingly useless... Am I helping? I mean, _really_, am I? Cause to be honest here, I'm feeling a lot like hope," Buffy said.

"You're a big help!" Willow reassured with a kind smile. "Tons, definitely of the helpful."

Buffy rolled her eyes as she stood from her spot at the table, her eyes gliding over the never-ending book titles stacked so organized on their shelves. "Do you think Tara's okay with Connor? Of course I _know_ she is, but maybe she's had enough? I should go get him..."

"No way Buffy, we're giving you a break tonight, one you muchly deserve," Willow protested, then sighed when she realized what her friend was trying to do. "Go... I'm sure there's at least one baddie that needs his butt kicked tonight."

Buffy's face lit up as she turned from the shelf. "Really? Are you sure? I don't want to be ditchy girl."

"Me and Wills here can make our own fun," Xander said. "We're kinda close, you know? It may seem like an odd friendship, but it-..."

"Okay thanks bye!" Buffy yelled, cutting him off as she grabbed her jacket and quickly disappeared out into the night.

"Well that was rude," Xander mumbled. "I'm wounded."

Willow glanced up from her laptop once again, oblivious. "Did you say something?"

~.~.~

The crisp night air was a comfort to her as she strolled through the streets of Sunnydale. Daylight was enjoyable, it gave her ample time to spend with Connor - but there was no denying where she _belonged_.

The dark corners of the night hid many things - demons, secrets, and occasionally a young couple or two. While the latter two were fine and dandy, it was the demons that she was interested in.

It wasn't only for the adrenaline, the fight, and the power - there was more to it. This was _her_ world. She wasn't a normal girl, she could do all the normal things she wanted, but she would never _be_ normal. That had used to bother her, she had wanted nothing more than to fit in and just be. After time, she had come to the understanding that she didn't need nor wanted to be - normal was so _boring_. And she, well, she was definitely _not _boring. No, she was the Slayer.

Her tiny form contained more power than any man twice her size could ever dream of having. She was a force of nature, and a pretty damn cute one if she had anything to say about it.

If _he_ had anything to say... Afterall, he had been what she had needed to accept and embrace who she was born to be.

_I wonder where he is right now... more than likely fighting with Angel_, she thought as she pulled a small object from her jacket pocket.

Opening her fist, she gazed down at the tiny locket that rested in her palm. Spike had given it to her on their one year "anniversary". They had never _said_ the word, there was no need to. What they felt for eachother was far beyond words. Inside the locket held a picture of Connor as a baby on one side, and Dawn's school picture on the other. Inscribed on the back were a few simple, yet meaningful words, "life after you".

Buffy smiled at the warm memory of him giving it to her. She had been able to tell by his shakey hands and unfocused gaze how nervous he'd been, and that only made it all the more special. For years Spike had been living only for himself, the only thing in his life worth losing was Dru, and come on, how much of a loss was that? All of that had changed, he had a family now, and _everything_ to lose.

It had only been one night - _one_, and she missed him. God, she was desperate.

She turned left at the next corner, and since she was distracted by her locket, she had never noticed the person until their bodies collided.

_Stupid Spike and his stupid presents_, she thought as she regained her balance and did a general look-over of whoever she'd run into. "Parker?... hi?" she said awkwardly.

Suddenly, she didn't feel so bad. This was the guy who had taken advantage of her years before, and as much as she _hated_ to admit it - he had broken her heart. Parker had been the first guy she'd let in since her break-up with Angel, and he'd managed to completely destroy her over _one_ night.

"Buffy, hey. How are you?"

_Honestly, how am I? Like he really gives a care_. "Uh, great chat, bye," she said, moving to walk away, but he stepped in front of her. It hadn't been a threatning move, _per say_, but it still bothered her.

"That's it? You don't have time for an old friend?" he teased with a smile that sent a wave of chills down her spine.

She laughed, ignoring the feeling, this was _Parker_ - she was the _Slayer_. "Friend? Isn't that an amusing thought... last I remember, you used me, abused me, and ditched me. I don't consider that very friend-like."

"What can I say? You were just so..." he paused, his eyes trailing down her body. "Tempting... and a tease too, you wanted it as much as I did. I bet you still do."

"Not so much, no. Bye Parker," she said, once again moving to pass him, but this time he reached out and grabbed her arm roughly.

"Not so fast," he said, his tone calm, yet dark.

"Excuse me? Listen, you better get your hand off-..." she started, but was cut off when he threw her face first to the hard ground, catching her off guard. Before she could react, she felt him on her back, pressing one knee into her as he steadied himself to hold her down.

Since when was he _that_ quick?

"You shouldn't have done that," she warned, her green eyes glaring, even if he couldn't see them. "You _really_ shouldn't have done that."

Parker smirked, an amused look in his eye. "So you said... now, I wonder if you've gained some experience over the years, any input?" he asked, then continued when she said nothing. "Well, I guess it really doesn't matter much - you won't be doing anything but lying beneath me."

Buffy struggled against his hold, but his grip was too strong. She might have been the Slayer, however the position he had put her in left her almost powerless - almost.

Despite the fear that rested in her stomach, she managed to laugh. "The girls aren't throwing themselves at old Parker like they used to, are they? You're so desperate you have to _force_ a girl to sleep with you... and I thought you were pathetic before."

The rage in his eyes intensified at her words, and she felt herself smile. Pissing him off may have not been a clever thing for a _normal_ girl to do, but she was far from normal.

"This isn't about other girls Buffy, this is about _you_. I can't promise it won't hurt, but I can promise _I'll_ enjoy it," he said, his gaze drifting once more along her shape. "Oh, will I ever."

He held her wrists tightly behind her back as he freed one of his hands and reached down, pulling his belt free from his jeans. She cringed at the sound, the fear inside of her growing. He brought the belt up to where he now held her small wrists with one hand, and quickly but carefully, tied them together.

He enjoyed watching her squirm beneath his weight, and kept her in that position for several seconds before rolling her over so she was facing him, his body still pressed tight to hers.

"There's my girl," he said coldly.

Buffy shocked herself when a _growl_ escaped her mouth. "I am not _your_ girl."

He shrugged. "Maybe not, but I can guarantee after tonight you won't be thinking of anyone else but me."

"The only thing I'll be thinking about is how to get away with your murder," she hissed.

"Ouch - that one hurt Buffy," he said, bringing his lips down to graze hers, but she yanked her head to the side, away from him. "Fine... there's plenty of other places I can kiss," he threatned, his eyes lingering on her chest. "Like here, for instance."

She struggled violently to free her wrists, but when it only resulted in more pain, she tried her legs. He smirked down at her as he held them firmly between his. He'd have to release his hold at some point.

Buffy closed her eyes tight when she felt the cool touch of his lips against her skin. How had this happened? How had she let him get the best of her? She was the _Slayer_! Not even an hour ago she had felt incredibly powerful, and now, now she felt completely powerless... _normal_.

In the darkness of her mind, an image suddenly appeared. One that she had invisioned _many_ times before. It was _him_. A tall, slender being with unspeakable power and the most amazing blue eyes she had ever seen. _Her_ vampire. Her _Spike._

Parker's hand worked it's away onto her flat stomach, teasing her by playing with the hem of her shirt before so wrongly slipping underneath it.

She held her eyes closed tighter, wishing she could will herself away. Will herself away to _him_.

"_Open your eyes Slayer - open your power_," he spoke.

Buffy hesitated, confused. How had Spike just-... No, it didn't matter _how_ - what mattered was that he had. Hearing his voice, if only in her mind, had given her a sudden surge of power that she had so easily shut down minutes before.

And with that, her eyes flashed open. Parker was staring down at her, his eyes boring into hers as his hand made it's way up to her breast.

"I warned you..." she whispered, but he only smiled.

That smile quickly disappeared when he found himself flying through the air, the result of Buffy's lower body strength. His body crashed painfully into the brick building near them, and he groaned loudly before losing conciousness.

She didn't hesitate before using her back to jump to her feet. She glanced over at Parker, who was out cold in a very awkward and painful position. A smile formed on her lips before she turned and ran.

"You shouldn't have done that."

~.~.~

I might have one or two extra chapters now, I have the next one basically complete so it should be up soon :) !


	17. Chapter 17

Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews people =) ! Keep 'em coming! I'm sorry if the Bangel is ruining this story for some of you! I hope you've enjoyed it besides, & I tried to keep it at a minimum the best I could! BellaVision, the one who gave me the plot for the story, had a plan for the whole Bangel action, so I couldn't go against it - & I think it was a pretty darn good plot =)

PS: About Cordy coming back & delving more into _why_ she betrayed Angel, it doesn't appear like that will be happening as I had planned. Possibly in a _sequel_ if there shall be one! Who knows? Sorry to those who wanted that to happen!

~.~.~

_Dirty. Disgusted. Helpless._ Those were only a few of the emotions that Buffy felt the moment she arrived home once the earlier event had it's time to set in. How could she allow Parker to get such control over her? She was the smybolism of power - and yet she had been nothing but _helpless_, if only for minutes.

She had immediately stripped off her clothing and taken a long, somewhat relaxing, hot bath. His touch lingered on her body, reminding her of her own weakness. Parker had touched her in the past, but then he had been gentle and loving, or so she had thought. That night, however, the sinister look in his eye turned the feel of his touch to nothing but utter disgust.

Not only was she disgusted with him, she was also disgusted with herself. A part of her knew that this was not her fault, that she was still human and _not_ invincible. But it was hard to bring reason into her thoughts. She was still, silent and devoid of emotion as she laid soaking in the water.

What if she hadn't have stopped him when she did? How far would he have actually gone? That was a dumb question - she had known the answer from the minute she'd looked up into his dark eyes.

She had faced monsters before, monsters that wanted to do more to her than just kill her - Spike had been one of them. They were different, they had power that was equal to hers, or in some cases, like Dracula, greater than. Yet, she had never felt the type of fear as she had when Parker looked down at her.

Maybe it was because she _couldn't_ kill him. The real monsters could do all they wanted to her, but she could seek her revenge and they would pay immensely for their actions. Yet, Parker was human - no matter how much she _ached_ to feel his blood on her hands, she was unable to act.

She tried to free her mind from all thoughts, but it was a near impossible task. Climbing out of the tub, she slipped on her bathrobe and headed to the bedroom, fully intending to curl under the blankets and drift away from the world.

But that was interrupted when a knock came from the door. Panic rised in her gut, what if it was Parker? Would he be that stupid to come to her house? _Of course he would - he doesn't know who you really are_, she thought as she slowly descended the steps.

It scared her even more when she realized _who_ was on the other side of the door. It wasn't Parker, it was _him_.

"Spike?" she whispered to herself as the familiar tingle of his signature presence creeped through her body.

She hesitated at the end of the stairs. _Could_ she face him after what had happened? She didn't feel like herself, she didn't _trust _herself. But if she didn't answer, she knew he would find his own way in. He could smell her, she knew that, and being Spike, he could probably feel her pain.

Taking a deep breath, she reached for the door knob and carefully pulled it open. Sure enough, he stood there, hands buried in the pockets of his duster as his eyes searched hers.

Without a word he stepped towards her, a frown on his face. "Buffy, wha's wrong?"

"Nothing, really... I just... I let my guard down..." she mumbled, backing away from him as she averted her gaze to the floor.

"_What_ happened?" he asked, his voice growing stronger.

She shook her head before she spoke. "It happened so fast... I didn't... one minute we were talking, and then he was... he was all over me... his hands... and I couldn't stop him. I... I wanted to, but I just... _I_ wouldn't work... but then I saw you... and I _made_ myself work..."

"Did somebody _touch_ you?" he growled, his anger escalating. The very thought of someone else's hands on her made his stomach turn. "_Who?" he asked, as h_is rage consumed him, and the next thing he realized was his hand was _in_ the wall.

Buffy flinched as she watched him do it. "It's over... it won't happen again... I'm sorry."

Spike sighed before stepping closer to her and pulling her tightly against him. "Shh, no pet, don't you be sorry. Tell me who dared to touch you an' I'll stake the vamp-..."

"It wasn't a vampire," she interrupted softly. "Spike, he was... he was human."

He laughed, although there was _no _humour in it. "Human? A bloody human? I'll kill 'im! The nerve of-..."

"It doesn't matter, it's done..."

"Like bloody fuckin' 'ell it doesn't matter! No one touches _my_ girl! Now you tell me or I'll go huntin' every damn human wanker I see in this soddin' town 'til there's none left," he growled.

Buffy looked up from his chest to his eyes, and pleaded. "Please, just... hold me."

He let out a heavy sigh. There was no way in hell he would let the bloke who laid a hand on Buffy live - but _she_ needed him. It would have to wait, but he'd be damned if it didn't happen.

He nodded, then gently scooped her up into his arms and carried her upstairs to their bedroom. He laid her down, and followed suit beside her, raising his arm so she could snuggle into him.

"Promise me you won't do anything..." she said, looking up at him.

He couldn't promise that, and she knew it. But still, she pushed the idea anyways. "I promise I won't kill anyone," he answered, changing her words slightly. "An' tha's jus' gonna 'ave to be good 'nough. Now close your eyes an' get some rest, 'm not goin' anywhere."

She nodded against him, knowing his answer was better than nothing. Spike was a vampire of his word - if he promised he wouldn't kill, she knew he'd stay true to it. She was still concerned about what he would do if he ever found out it had been Parker - death would be mercy for him.

But she had let it go, she knew pushing him on the matter would only upset him more, and then who knew what he would do?

Lying in his arms gave her a comfort that she longed for, so she listened and closed her eyes, allowing herself to drift off to sleep knowing she would be safe.

~.~.~

Spike laid motionless, watching Buffy as she slept beside him. Rage still coursed through his veins and his unbeating heart ached for vengeance. He didn't know how he would find out who was responsibile, but he wouldn't rest until he had. He might have been reformed, but _no one_ hurt his family, especially _her_.

"No... stop..." Buffy cried softly in her sleep. Spike gently soothed her by running a hand along her back. "Parker, please..."

His movement stopped suddenly when he realized she had spoken _his_ name. _Parker_? That idiot who had used Buffy when she was in college, the one who had managed to hurt her in a way not many ever would - _he_ had done this to her?

He moved slowly, careful not to wake her as he slipped away. He grabbed his duster off the chair where he had discarded it sometime throughout the night, and stormed out of the house.

He didn't know where to find him, but he wasn't going home until he did.

~.~.~

It had been harder than Spike had hoped to find Parker. Apparently getting information on the whereabouts of a human was a hell of a lot harder than your average demon. Thank God Sunnydale was so small it was barely on a map - it made things fairly easier.

Luck. That was the only explanation, luck along with a town the size of a shopping mall.

He had been passing by the Bronze, it had closed minutes before, when he saw him stumbling around outside. Sober or not, it had no affect on Spike's plans - the wanker wasn't much of a challenge for him either way.

The thought of him recieving a mind-blowing headache by harming a human crossed Spike's mind while he was searching the town, but it had diminished as quick as it had come. It would be well worth it.

Spike stalked across the street, closing the distance between him and his target.

"Hey man, do you have any change? I need a taxi," Parker slurred, looking up at Spike as he approached him.

"Change? Nah mate, but I got a whole lot of rage to let loose," Spike growled, punching him. It didn't take much to knock Parker from his feet. He braced himself for the pain that followed, but swallowed it quickly. "You had no right to touch 'er," he continued. "An' now, 'm 'ere to reak some vengeance."

Parker stared up at him, confused. "What the hell did you do that for? Oh, wait... you're... you're talking about _her_ aren't you? Look, dude, she begged me for it, I was just-..."

Spike cut him off as he connected another hit to his jaw, then a powerful one to his ribs. Once again pain echoed through his brain, there was no doubt it was there - but it had taken a backseat to his anger. At that moment, he felt nothing.

"_Begged_ for it, eh? You fuckin' ponce," he snapped. "Le's see 'ow well you can beg, shall we? 'cause when 'm done with you, you'll be wishin' you were dead."

"I didn't know she was _your_ girl, I swear," Parker pleaded. "Come on, this really isn't fair - I'm clearly intoxicated, maybe we can reschedule?"

Spike laughed. Here he was, the man who had tried to rape Buffy hours earlier, wanting to _reschedule_...

"Don't care much if you're an elderly man with grandkids - if it wasn't for Buffy, I'd be drainin' you dry by now," he growled, allowing his human face to shift, his yellow eyes and piercing fangs emerging. "'m really gonna enjoy this, can't say the same for you mate, but no worries, you'll get wha' you deserve."

Parker scrambled to his feet and started to back away, horrified at the monster who stood before him. He didn't make it very far before Spike pounced.

~.~.~

Sweat trickled down her forehead and her heart raced as she sat up suddenly in the bed, waking from the nightmare that had plagued her dreams. She could have sworn she had _felt_ him, even if he wasn't really there - it had only been in her mind. But the panic in her chest tried to convince her otherwise.

Her eyes darted to the space beside her - Spike was no longer there.

"Oh God... oh no... oh no," she muttered, a hand coming to her mouth as she gasped.

She must have said something in her sleep, something like _his_ name. Spike had promised he wouldn't kill, but he had been unable to promise anything else. She knew him well enough to know torture had never been his signature, he had preferred the kill. That didn't comfort her - he was _Angelus's_ grandchilde, that thought sent chills down her spine. Just because Spike wasn't one for it, didn't mean he wasn't capable or had the skills.

She swung her legs over the side of the bed and sat motionless for a brief time before standing. She needed to get dressed, she had fallen asleep in her bathrobe. She _needed _to find Spike.

She quickly threw on a pair of gray yoga pants and a plain white tank top. She hurried down the stairs, grabbing her leather jacket off the banister before pulling open the door.

She was frozen in place when she realized she didn't need to leave, she had already found him. Or more so, he had found her.

"Spike..." she whispered, watching him as he stepped into the house, his face blank, but a look of resolution in his eyes. "What did you do?"

He sighed as he turned his gaze to hers. "I did wha' 'ad to be done."

Buffy gasped, her hand swiftly covering her mouth. It was then, when her eyes left his and did a quick scan of his body, that she realized the blood. It stained his white shirt, as well as his hands. "You didn't... you couldn't... you killed him?"

"Sure as 'ell wanted to... but no, I didn't kill the wanker - mighta paralyzed 'im though, surely put 'im in the 'ospital for a few months... but, he's breathin', barely anyway," he said, a coldness in his eyes that she recognized all too well.

"Spike, I can't... you shouldn't have done that... he was only human, it wasn't fair," she said.

"Fair? _Fair_? If that was 'Bit, would you be so worried 'bout fair? No one touches my girl, no one touches my _family_. I'd 'ave done the same if anythin' was to 'appen to Nibblet or Connor. An' if you wanna stake me for it, then go ahead Slayer - but you're well 'ware of what I am, always 'ave been. I don't take well to the law, don't care much for justice... vengeance is what I seek, an' tonight, I got it. For _you_," he said, somewhat bitterly.

Buffy shook her head. "No..."

Spike sighed. "Look, he's gonna live, that much I did for you pet. If I wasn't so bloody well in love with you, I would've ripped 'is soddin' 'ead off - but you could never love a killer. Don't you see I've changed? But, 'm still a vampire, will be for the rest of my years, an' if someone that I love is hurt, in any way... there is payment to be made, an' I ain't interested in the money type. The only payment I accept is in blood. I 'xpected you to be rightly pissed, an' you got every reason to be - what I did goes against every instinct in your body. But you aren't jus' the Slayer Buffy, you're so much more. An' I protect wha's mine. I'll give you proper space, let you take in wha' 'appened, but 'm not leavin' this house 'til I know that you're alright - you'll bloody well 'ave to stake me then."

Buffy hesitated, she was being pulled into two different directions - her love for Spike, and her contentment at knowing Parker had gotten what he deserved; and what her mind _knew_ was right. With a deep breath, she swallowed her feelings. "I'm fine," she said simply, the familiar wall building up, hiding her weak state.

Spike laughed. "Yeah, right. I didn't mean you tellin' me, I meant me knowing. An' you should be well 'ware by now luv, that I know what you're feelin' - and it sure as 'ell ain't fine."

Buffy sighed, crossing her arms. "What do you want me to say? Oh, alright Spike, it's perfectly "A OK" that you nearly beat a guy to death... for me! I'm the Slayer! I fight to protect people, not hurt them. And yeah, Parker did deserve it, and sure, he deserves a lot worse - but that doesn't mean it's okay to _do_ it. He should be rotting in a jail cell, not bleeding in a hospital bed..."

He raised an eyebrow. He wanted to comfort her, she had been hurt in a way she should have never known, one that he had been cause for many girls. But, his anger had overtaken him, and her objectiveness towards him had only made it worse.

"That so? An' who was gonna put 'im in that jail cell? You? I don't believe you called the police, now did you? An' still, wha' good would tha' 'ave done? The wanker's da' would've bailed 'im out by now an' he'd be livin' it up at the country club by mornin'. No, the only way to get justice is to get it yourself - an' tha's what I did. An' I'm damn well proud of teachin' that little ponce a lesson he won't soon forget."

She sighed as she ran a hand through his wavy blonde hair, still tangled from the shower. "I'm tired Spike, but I'm sure since you know what I'm feeling, you've already figured it out... just please, go... the basement, the backyard, wherever... I just need to sleep, and think... and be alone for a while," she said softly, refusing to look him in the eye. She didn't want to argue with him over what he had done, she wasn't even sure herself how she _really_ felt about it yet.

Spike mumbled a muffled curse before turning and heading for the door. "Don't think 'm leavin', just goin' out for a bloody puff," he said, then looked back at her, his face soft. "Never forget that I love you Buffy... an' I will never 'urt you. 'm sorry tha' what I did upset you, but 'm not sorry for hurtin' the one who 'urt you."

She nodded, but said nothing as he left. She knew he hadn't gone far, she could still feel him close. She didn't want him to leave, she wanted to curl up in his arms and thank him for protecting her the way he had. But that was her emotions talking, and she had to get control of herself before she could take the wall down and let him back in.

What he had done was huge; it hadn't been a rowdy bar fight started because a beer was spilt - it had been an act of pure violence that had been planned with the intent to cause serious damage.

She couldn't allow herself to be the damsel in distress. She had to think things over, and only then could she really come to terms with everything that had happened that night and make a decision - forgive him, or forget him.

~.~.~

Angel sat in his motel room, his mind wandering to the fight he'd had with Spike the night before. It wasn't something he had _wanted_; that was just their way - they would never change. He could tell by the way Buffy had looked at the both of them that she was fed up and dead serious on her threat.

As much as it bothered him, he knew what he had to do - he had to mend things with his grandchilde.

How that was going to happen, he hadn't yet figured out.

"Angel?" PBuffy called as she walked into the room. He glanced up at her from his place on the bed, resting against the headboard, and she smiled. "Good news and bad news, which do you want first? Personally, I'm all for the good."

He couldn't help but return her smile. "Then let's hear it."

She slipped off her jacket and sat down beside him on the bed with a bounce. "Okay, so I was just at the Magic Box, right? I guess Willow has been research girl _all_ day trying to find something on the why and the how I'm here.. apparently it had been a dead end, but then..." she paused for dramatic effect before continuing. "I was out in the back, kicking around the bag and all that - they've got a nice set up in there by the way, real old school but totally awesome - so, I was in there, when I heard Willow yelling my name, so of course, I went... and she had this really serious look on her face, you know the one right? I guess some things _never_ change."

He couldn't deny that he enjoyed her rambling, but after everything that had gone on since they'd arrived in Sunnydale, he just wanted to hear what had been found. "What did she find?" he asked, trying not to sound dismissive.

Buffy sighed. "I can't remember most of it, she used a lot of fancy magic words, but the gist - she found the demon that cast the spell, you were right, it was a _spell_ demon. She found the type, but again, memory loss... anyway, after another _hour_ of research, she basically said that there doesn't appear to be a way to reverse it. It was kind of a bum moment, well, for her and Xander, but really, Angel... I'm glad. I... I like it here, with you... I don't want to go back," she said, finishing in barely a whisper.

Angel looked down at her, he could see the desperation in her eyes. This was _his_ Buffy, the one who was still in love with him, the one who _needed_ him. As much as he tried to fight it, he needed her just as much, maybe even more.

"Buffy, I understand, but you can't stay here, in this time, you're needed back there," he said softly.

She looked up at him, hopeful. "But what if I can't? What if it isn't do-able? Then I'm stuck here... and I don't see that as all bad - _three_ Slayers. Okay, so one might be a tad on the looney toons side _and_ technically in a coma, but still... I mean, are you saying you wouldn't be the tiniest bit happy?"

He let out a heavy sigh. "It isn't that simple and you know it. I left for a reason, not because I didn't love you."

Her hopeful gaze turned to hurtful. "_Didn't_? As in, don't anymore?..."

He reached out and gently touched her hand with his. "I will _always_ love you. It just doesn't change what can never be... if you stay here, it could disrupt events in the future, in the _now_."

"Things like my being in love with Spike?" she asked, knowing it would spark something inside of him. "You don't know that it will, how can we be sure that I didn't stay in the past too? ... Alright, not a brilliant idea, but it _could've_ happened... and if I'm here, with no way to get back, wouldn't you say it was meant to be? That I'm here for a reason, like maybe... a second chance," she said as her fingers intertwined with his.

"Buffy, I-..." he was interrupted when the phone rang on the bedside table beside him. He glanced down at her, and they shared an emotional look before he turned away and answered. "Hello? Oh, hi Willow. Yes, she told me. Are you sure there's no way to reverse the spell? Oh... well, was there any indication of _why_? I see... there's something else? Well, what is it?" PBuffy watched him intensely as he spoke, and tilted her head in confusion as he paused for several seconds. "Are you sure? How is that possible? ... Two hours, I'll be there," he finished, then hung up.

"What's going on, what'd she say?" PBuffy asked.

"There's something she needs to discuss with me," he said, as he stood from the bed and grabbed his jacket.

"Well I'll come with you then," she said, but he shook his head. "Why not? This is about _me_ afterall, I think I-..."

"What Willow found isn't about you Buffy, it's about me," he said simply, his gaze catching hers. "Stay here until I get back, I won't be long."

She stared at him in confusion, but decided not to push him. Whatever Willow had told him had obviously upset him in a way that led her to believe he wasn't in a sharing mood. "Maybe I'm wrong here, but you said _two_ hours. It talks half an hour to walk twice around the entire town."

"I have to stop somewhere first," he said, heading for the door.

"Bye," she whispered to no one but herself as he disappeared into the night.

~.~.~

AN: I know most of you don't want any more Bangel, but next chapter it's gone - promise!


	18. Chapter 18

AN: Once again, thanks for the reviews =) They seriously make my day & I love to see when I have even _one_ new one!

~.~.~

He couldn't believe he was going to do this. In his 200+ years as a vampire, this was not something that had seemed even the slightest bit possible. He had too much pride and too much hatred for the younger vampire to even _want_ this. Well, he didn't really _want_ it then either, but there was no other way.

If Angel wanted to see his son, he would have to mend things with Spike.

The thought alone was enough to drive him crazy - again.

As he made his way down Revello Drive, he considered the possibility of turning around and walking away. No one would have been the wiser. But he shook it off, Buffy was right, they had been acting like children - it was just their way. Could things change? He didn't know, but he had to try.

He found himself standing on the sidewalk, staring at the house. Despite the fact that he had decided to _attempt_ to end things with Spike, actually _doing_ it was proving to be difficult.

It wasn't until he saw the bleached blonde vampire slip outside to light a cigarette that he stepped onto the lawn. He had obviously caught Spike's attention, because his gaze peeled away from the window of the house and turned towards him in an instant.

"Peaches, came back for a secon' go I see," he said, venturing down the porch steps.

"I don't want to fight you," Angel said in response.

Spike raised an eyebrow. "Then wha' is it? You come to see Buffy? Cause she's-..."

Angel sighed, hardly believing the words that were about to come from his own mouth. "No, I came... I came to make a truce, alright?"

The familiar smirk appeared on Spike's face as he cocked his head to the side. "Truce, huh? Isn't this interesting, big ol' Poof on my lawn wantin' to settle things... never thought I'd see the day."

"Yeah, well, I never thought I'd see it either. But if we don't do this, Buffy won't let me see Connor, and she won't let _you_ back in the house."

"Actually-..." Spike started, but cut himself off. The temptation to taunt Angel's request was strong as ever, but he had to stop and think. The last thing Buffy needed was to wake up and find them fighting again, that was for sure. She had been through enough over the night, she didn't need another reason to stress - especially one that could be so easily avoided. Finally, he nodded. "Alright then, truce it is."

Angel was stunned. "Really? I expected you to laugh in my face - I would have if it was possible."

"Temptin' as is, 'm not much in the mood for laughin'. So, we done 'ere?" Spike asked as he took a long drag of his cigarette.

Angel nodded. "Yeah, I guess we are."

Annoyance appeared on Spike's face as he motioned with his hands. "Right then, off with you."

Angel simply rolled his eyes before leaving. He wasn't about to ruin something that would _never_ be able to be repaired if broken. Besides, he had somewhere else to be. Somewhere important.

~.~.~

"You're telling me that me and Buffy... Buffy and me..." Angel tried, but was unable to get the words out.

He was sitting in the living room of Willow and Tara's apartment, across from the red-head who looked slightly nervous about their conversation.

"Technically, not _Buffy_, just this one, the one from the past... when I was trying to find out information on what spell had been used, I stumbled across a little extra stuff - in simple terms, because of the spell that was done to her, she's... well, she's immune to pretty much any kind of magic," Willow explained. "That's why it's impossible to reverse the spell, because it would just reflect off of her, so to say. So, yeah, you and Buffy can make with the happy without the "grr" afterwards... but, that's not to say I'm _condoning_ it - I just thought... well, this is all a little weird, you know? But I was thinking, me _and_ Tara were thinking, something else is at work here, something big. For Buffy to be pulled out of her dimension and dropped on your doorstep with the immunity to your clause, right after you woke from your... state, and were well, not yourself, it just... it seems like it was meant to be."

He sighed as he rested his head against the back of the chair he was in. "She seems to have the same thought," he said.

"But you're not so convinced..." she added.

He nodded. "I can't deny that I'm not happy to have her with me, but I do have a sensable side. I may not be an expert Willow, but I am aware of how these things usually work - and it never ends good."

"Always with the optimism," Willow said sarcastically. "I'm about as skeptic as you are, and probably more creeped out... but these things just don't happen Angel, they're extremely rare - as in one every century or so. I'm still looking into it, I have a lot of questions floating in my head that need answers, and as soon as I have them - I'll call you. I just... well, I thought you'd want to know about this, it's kind of huge news..."

"I appreciate it. Did you tell..."

"Buffy Buffy? No, I didn't. I figured I'd give you the information to do with it what you want. It really isn't my place, I just found it... it changes _everything_ for you," she said softly.

He nodded, then stood. "Thank you Willow, you're becoming a very powerful wicca, I can sense it. But you're also still quite the smarty-pants."

She smiled. "And you're still quite the broody-pants... but thanks. I'll call you," she said, walking with him to the door. Angel sent her one last smile before leaving. "What have I gotten myself into..." Willow mumbled as she closed the door behind him.

~.~.~

Buffy pulled the blankets over herself as she crawled into bed, and snuggled close into them. They were her only comfort, since her usual one was downstairs - her own doing, yes, but that didn't mean she didn't _want_ him with her.

She had never expected to be the victim, not in the way she had been. _Victim_ - it sounded so depressing, so final. As if she would _always_ be. And, maybe she would. She tried to deny her emotions, tried to act like it hadn't upset her - but in reality, it haunted her.

It had barely been a day, she didn't want to think that it would _never_ go away. She couldn't bare to feel like this for the rest of her life, so helpless and so violated. She wanted to kill Parker for what he had done to her, for how he had tainted her heart.

She supposed she didn't have to, Spike had been willing to do it for her. He had left him alive, but not without consequence. Part of her ached with pride, love, and gratitude for what he had done - the other part ached with worry, anger, and disgust.

Confusion also held high in rank, but it wasn't confusion over what he had done, it was how _she_ felt about it. He had been right when he said that she was never misled to believe he was something he was not - she knew what he was. It hadn't mattered how much he had changed, or how human she considered him - he was still a _vampire_, and that would never change. She didn't want it to. She loved all of him, there was no inbetween.

So, how could she blame him for doing something that he only saw as natural? Something that was technically a part of him? Did his being a vampire even really have any part in it? Afterall, they had been together for three years, and he had been in love with her for a few before that. He was protecting her, defending her - how could she deny him that right when she would've done the same in return?

No, she may have not taken it to the _extent _that he had, should the case be, but she knew well enough that Spike was no "one punch" vampire. He had tried to kill her on numerous occasions, one being the result of her trying to kill Drusilla. Spike went in all or nothing when his loved ones were concerned - that _was_ one of the reasons she loved him so much.

Buffy let out a sigh, as well as a mumbled curse as she rolled onto her back, staring up at the ceiling. Why did she have to love _Spike_? He made her so angry she wanted to scream, yet made her so happy she wanted to cry. Talk about confusion.

Who was she fooling? She definitely wasn't fooling herself - she _needed_ him. He hadn't killed Parker, just beat him near to... that was _something_. And, he himself hadn't come out of this Mr. Happy Pants - he had been in immense pain, she could see it written on his face. Not only from the chip, but from knowing what her reaction would be and how scared he was of causing her any more pain.

It wasn't like Spike did this on a routine basis - he fought by her side, helping her to _protect_ a whole heck of a lot of people. And he didn't do it to please her, he did it because he had changed, because he _wanted_ to.

A smile formed on her lips as she slipped the blanket off of herself and sat up in bed. She was about to get up and go to find him when the phone rang. She reached over and picked it up. "Hello? Hey, Angel, what's going on? Oh, sure, when did you want to come see him? Tomorrow night, okay... Talk to me? About what? Alright, I suppose I can wait - it isn't going to involve you breaking anymore of my furniture, is it? Well then, tomorrow night it is. Goodnight Angel," she said softly before hanging up.

The tone in his voice worried her slightly - whatever it was he wanted to talk to her about, it sounded urgent. Maybe he had made up his mind and thought it'd be best to take Connor back to LA with him? No... it was something else, she could tell. Something important, something that couldn't be mentioned over the phone - but _what_ was it?

With a shake of her head, she stood up. Whatever it was, she couldn't try and figure it out, she knew she never would. She would just have to wait until tomorrow.

Until then... she had some making up to do with a bleached blonde vampire in her living room.


	19. Chapter 19

Author's Note: Alright, so I know the Bangel lasted longer than most wanted, and longer than I expected.. but it was all part of the plot - so I couldn't stray away, but I enjoyed writing it, and I kinda like how it worked out =) This is the _last_ chapter for Bangel!

& of course a huge THANK YOU to _all_ of my readers, I genuinely appreciate each & every review & try my best to return them =) !

~.~.~

After hanging up from her conversation with Angel, Buffy headed downstairs to find her vampire. She could still feel his presence lingering around her, so she knew he hadn't gone far.

It surprised her to find her stomach in knots, nervous about his reaction to her turning around so soon after she had blown up at him. Everything had happened so sudden, she wasn't given any time to think about things. It had been hard enough for her to accept what had happened with Parker, and she wasn't even sure if she had yet.

But despite that, she knew if she ever wanted to get over it, she would _need_ Spike to help her. Pushing him away when she needed him the most was not the smartest thing to do - she'd done it too many times in the past that she was well aware of it by then.

As she crept around the corner of the entranceway to the living room, she saw him lying on the sofa. She moved around the room, and watched him silently for a few minutes as his body lay motionless, his eyes closed.

If she didn't know any better, she would think he was dead.

That thought brought out a small smile, and she hesitated slightly before tiptoeing over to him and throwing her body onto his.

She watched his eyes flutter open, and felt his strong grip on her waist.

"An' wha' do you think you're doin'?" he asked, smiling up at her. "Thought you needed some space to think pet? Was doin' wha' you asked of me, but if you're gonna be doin' that, well, I can only play good for so long."

She returned the smile before grazing her lips against his. "I have thought, and I've decided that I don't hold it against you - but I don't want to talk about all that right now. There are more important matters at hand - like me, you, a big bed with a view."

He removed a hand from her waist to gently trace the features of her face. "Maybe then you can tell me 'bout wha' happened?"

She hesitated. "Maybe... but it wouldn't hurt to just _be_ with you, you know? Words haven't always been our only way of communicating."

"True luv, but talkin' is how you heal - an' as much as I know you without the words, you need to trust me 'nough to let me in."

Buffy frowned. "I do trust you Spike, I just... I don't know if I'm ready."

"Well, 'm not goin' anywhere, I got lots of time."

"And I got sleepy eyes," she said, standing up, and pulling him along with her. "Hold me?"

"It'd be my pleasure," he said, planting a kiss on her cheek before following her upstairs.

~.~.~

The next night, Buffy sat in the living room waiting for Angel's arrival. Informing Spike on the plan had gone insanely well, compared to what she had expected. He simply let out a mumbled curse, then agreed and said he'd take Dawn out shopping for school. Spending time with Dawn had been a part of his daily life for the last three years, but volounteering for a shopping trip - well that was just insanity.

But, she had shaken it off. He had probably decided against the possibility of upsetting her, which angered her a little - she was no child. Then again, why wouldn't she savour the moment? She knew well enough to know that there was far and few between to come in the future.

Once Angel arrived, they sat down together on the sofa and began to talk.

"I'm leaving... going back to LA," he said, avoiding her gaze.

"Already? I figured-..."

"There's more," he interrupted.

"Okay, well don't let me hold you back."

"Willow found something about Buffy - the other one. The demon who brought her here was a very rare type with the ability to cast a spell that hasn't even been _attempted_ in centuries. As a result of this, she's immune to magic, or at least that Willow could tell," he explained.

Buffy nodded, trying to absorb the information. "Which means that there's no way to send her back... right?" He nodded in reply. "So, um, what are we going to do? How is she?..."

"She's you Buffy. I think you know better than I do how she's coping... she wants to come back to LA with me," he added softly.

"Oh yeah-... wait, she _what_? Are you _insane_? You're going to take her... me... her back to LA with you, to what, have another go at things? Do you even know how badly this could mess up the future... or now...? Like, for one, I _love_ Spike - what if none of this happens because little Ms Magic Reflector doesn't get back to _her_ time? Huh? You know, I bet this was your plan all along, wasn't it? Bring her back so that me and Spike-..."

"Buffy, calm down," he said, cutting her off gently. "I understand how it might seem that way, but I wanted her to go back as much as you do. And me and her are not..." he sighed. "She's scared, and confused... I'm not saying she'll be moving in for good - but she feels safe in LA. Everything is different for her here. She can't go home, she doesn't even know your... her... mother is dead."

"I guess that makes sense... and having her around was kind of creeping me out. But still, it's like, what's going to happen? Is everything just going to go all "poof" because |'m not back there doing all that butt kicking and world saving, you know, the normal stuff?"

He smiled over at her. "No. Nothing changes. What happened in the past, between her time and ours, will all have happened. Apparently that's part of the spell - it's complicated and difficult to understand, but to sum it up, it's almost as if she never came here..."

"Except she very much did..." she let out a sigh as she shook her head. "Never mind, don't even _try_ and explain - my head is already spinning. Let's just leave it as settled, 'kay?" When he nodded, she continued. "So, what about Connor? Are you taking _him_ with you?"

"No Buffy, I'm not. He's happy here, he's adjusted - _this_ is his home. I'd still like to see him, and call him too," he said, catching her gaze.

She smiled and reached out to gently squeeze his hand. "Of course Angel. You don't know how much this means to me, to _us_. Don't think I don't understand just how difficult it is for you to leave your son in the care of someone you despise - but Spike is nothing but good to him. He would never-..."

"Hurt him - I know Buffy. It might kill me to even think it, but, I know... we, uh, came to a sort of... agreement, you could say. But I don't know how long that will stick, which is another reason it's best for me to leave."

She laughed, not believing what she was hearing. "Are you saying _you_ and _Spike_ finally made up?"

He managed a small laugh himself. "No... we did not, nor ever will "make up". Let's just say that if we pass each other on the street we won't intentionally cross the road to try and kill each other - if it happens _accidentally_, well, that's different..."

"Mhm... I'm starting to see the positive of you leaving now that you mention it," she teased.

"Oh, so you're admitting there was a negative?"

She smiled. "Yeah, there was. As much as I am _way _over you, you're still... Angel. That'll never change."

"_Way_?"

She nodded. "_Way_... how about I go get the big guy now? He's playing up in his room, I'll only be a minute."

"I'm not going anywheres."

"Not yet anyway," she said with a wink as she headed for the stairs.

~.~.~

When Angel returned to his motel room, he found PBuffy lying on the bed, flipping through a magazine. She looked up at him as he walked in the door.

"How'd it go?" she asked, abandoning the magazine and sitting up.

"It went good," he answered, taking a seat in the chair by the window. "Connor is just so..."

"Amazing," she finished. "I know. When I was at the Magic Box yesterday they had him there... he looks so much like you Angel."

He nodded with a smile. "But he acts so much like her. My looks are genetic, his personality comes from how he was raised."

"That's not _all_ true," she said. "I noticed a few things of yours - he is kinda broody for a three year old."

He laughed at her comment, then his demeanor turned serious. "I told Buffy that I'm leaving."

"Oh? How'd she take that?"

"How do you think? With me out of the picture she can raise Connor and be with Spike without the burden," he said, then shook his head. "No, that isn't right. As much as I'd like to put a sharp stake through Spike's heart for..."

"Replacing you," she added when he couldn't. "If I know a thing or two about Buffy, which, hello - _me_, what she has with Spike can never replace what she had with you. Yeah, she might not be in love with you anymore, but Angel, you'll never leave her heart."

He nodded. "I know. She's happy, and Connor's happy... and if it means having Spike around, then I'm just going to have to accept it. But I don't like it, and that's the main reason why I can't stay here. Buffy understands that, and she promised not to keep me from Connor, that's all I can ask."

She nodded as she moved closer to the edge of the bed. "And me... what's going to happen to me?"

He sighed as he looked into her eyes. "If you want to come with me to LA, I won't say no."

A smile snuck onto her face and she found herself in his arms. "Really? You're serious? You aren't pulling my leg in a really, _really_ cruel way?"

He gently pushed her away and back onto the bed. "Yes, I'm serious. But there are a few things that we need to make... understood."

She frowned. "I can't help the way I feel about you Angel... I thought you were out of my life, and then bam... there you are. How do you expect me to be? You've had what, like six years, I've had two weeks... it's not easy for me to just forget you, especially since you're the only one that I can trust."

"Buffy, it isn't that I don't care about you... it's the fact that we don't know what will happen if we were to get too... close," he said. "And if you continue pushing it, I... I don't know how long I can keep saying no."

She smiled, taking his hand in hers. "Then do us both a favour and stop saying it... Willow said herself that we can... and I'm not saying we'll do _that_... I'm just saying... God I don't even _know_ what I'm saying... all I know is that I'm in love with you, and I don't see that _ever_ changing. Well, obviously in some way it did, but so not my point... what happened between then and now happened, but it didn't happen to _me_ - and I can see it in your eyes that it didn't happen to you either..."

He pulled away from her touch and stood, pacing the room. "You haven't changed," he said with a sigh.

"Is that a bad thing? Would you rather me be in love with someone else... let's say... Spike?"

He growled. "Don't talk like that."

"Well what else am I supposed to talk like? You tell me no, yet it's clear that you don't want me with anyone else. So it isn't me who needs to understand things Angel - it's you," she said, walking over to where he stood. She placed her body in front of his and looked up into his eyes. He turned his gaze away, but she forced him to look at her. "Tell me... tell me that you don't still love me and I won't say another word; I won't try another thing..."

He hesitated. He knew he could never say those things to her, not after all of the pain he had caused her. And now they had a chance to see if things would have been amazing between them. But how could he? None of this made any sense - and he _needed _to make sense of things.

As he looked down into her emerald green eyes, he had forgotten everything that he knew. All he saw was her, the Buffy he had fallen in love with. The one that he still loved, the one that still loved him.

Without another word, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her.

He could feel her anger in the kiss, and then it softened into nothing but love... for him. His grip on her waist tightened and he felt a low growl escape his mouth as she moved her small body against his.

When he pulled away from her, she was looking up into his eyes. "Angel..."

"Get your stuff together, we'll leave tonight," he said softly, and she simply nodded as he left her standing there to pack his things. Before he made it a few feet away from her, he turned and reached out, gently placing a kiss on her forehead. "I still love you Buffy Summers," he whispered, then disappeared into the bathroom.

~.~.~

AN: Okay so I know it got smutty with the Bangel, but the next chapter is the _last_ chapter and completely Bangel free! & who knows, maybe I'll add an extra one with pure Spuffy because of the torture some of you Bangel haters have endured =) !


	20. Chapter 20

Author's Note: I had a lot of fun writing this story, it gave me the chance to escape reality for a few hours every so often, which was much needed! My life is definitely not average & can get pretty stressful, so I enjoyed having this to turn to =) Special thank you to ALL reviewers/taggers, again, much appreciated! I hope it was liked, & thanks so much again, I wouldn't have continued if it wasn't for you guys, you're awesome =) !

PS- In chapter 15, I referred to Dawn as "Auntie Dawn", but I altered it because Connor refers to her as "sissy". It had just been a brain fart I suppose! So just incase you're wondering =) !

PPS- =) The whole Cordy issue... I added a little something into this chapter - it's not much but hopefully it can give you a bit of closure on that!

~.~.~

3 weeks later...

~.~.~

"No more Buff, please - I don't want to start my first day of college blind," Dawn whined as her older sister took yet another picture of her.

Buffy smiled. "This is a big moment Dawnie, you can't expect me to _not_ take forty million pictures... where do you think I learned this tradition?"

Dawn smiled softly. "Mom... I remember... and I also remember you being just as annoyed as I am by it, so don't even go there."

"Oh come on Bit, 's not like you don't fancy bein' the center of attention and all tha'," Spike chimed in. Dawn reached over and swatted his arm. "'ey! No need to get violent with a bloke for speakin' the truth."

"That coming from someone with bleached blonde hair," she said. "I really bet you did that to _blend_."

"Got me there," he admitted, then turned to Buffy. "I think she's 'ad 'nough of the photo shoot, why don't you go get 'er presents luv?"

"Presents? Nobody mentioned anything about presents," Dawn said with a grin.

"You expected us to send you off with nothing?" Buffy asked. "Now that is hurtful."

"Well you aren't exactly present girl Buffy," she said. "You're more like crossbow and stake girl... you didn't get me a crossbow, did you? Because that would be totally hard to hide from my roomate."

She laughed. "No, no crossbows. Although it was at the top of the list."

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Oh God..."

Buffy left the living room, leaving Dawn, Spike and Connor behind. "You going away now?" Connor asked, climbing up onto her lap.

She nodded. "Yeah, I'm going away now... but I'll be back to visit _all_ the time Con, I promise."

He smiled up at her. "And you bring treats too?"

Dawn laughed as she pulled him into a hug. "Of course I will, I wouldn't be a very good sissy if I didn't, now would I?"

"Now Bit," Spike started. "You bring a boy home with you, an' I can't promise he'll make it outta 'ere alive, you 'ear me?"

"Need I remind you about Blake? He was practically in tears when he left here that night, I'm sure he spread the word about who _not_ to date, and I bet I was at the top of _that_ list. I doubt they'll be lining up," she said.

"Nonsense, a beauty like you, they'll be linin' up 'round the block... that doesn't mean you're gonna say yes though, 'cause if you do-..."

"I know, I know - they'll die a horribly painful death after several hours of unspeakable torture... I think I've heard this speech _once_ before," she said, rolling her eyes. "You do realize I'm eighteen and only had, let me see... _zero_ relationships. Unless you count Zach, he lasted a whole week..."

Spike smirked. "Right, that one... took a lot to scare 'im it did, but he changed 'is mind quick when I-..." Dawn sent him a glare that stopped him mid-sentence. "'ad a nice chat with 'im, 'course... so, movin' on, you nervous 'bout startin' big school Bit?"

Her glare turned to a smile. "Yes and no. I mean, I managed to survive school while being hunted by a demon God, so I suppose I can handle the usual freshmen stuff, you know?"

"'bout that, no parties either," he butted in. "Nasty things they are."

She was about to protest when Buffy walked into the room, holding three wrapped gifts.

"Goody, presents!" Dawn chimed as Buffy sat them down on the table in front of her. Dawn looked over at Connor. "Want to help me open them?"

He nodded and quickly got to work on the biggest one. She watched him with a smile for a few seconds before diving into one herself.

She pulled the wrapping paper off in a hurry, and opened the medium sized box that rested on her lap. Inside, were three stakes - all different shapes and sizes. One was small, about the length of a pencil, with a razor sharp tip that had been coloured purple; another was a bit longer, and the tip was somewhat dulled, it wasn't painted but there was a "D" carved into the handle; the last one was the largest, it was thin and plain looking, yet she was sure it would get the deed done.

She looked up from the box to Spike and Buffy who were watching her closely. "Not what a typical girl would expect for a present, but _I_ love them... thank you so much."

"I did the one in the middle," Spike stated, proudly. "Carved the D in it an' all that on my own - pretty bloody amazin' if you ask me."

Dawn reached over and wrapped an arm around his shoulders in a hug. "It's my favourite."

"Hey!" Buffy exclaimed. "_I_ did the purple one - very girly and compact, great for the ankle."

Dawn laughed. "I love them _all_, thank you."

"Here sissy," Connor said, handing her the gift he had unwrapped. She looked down at him and grinned when she saw what he was holding - a laptop.

"You got me a freaking laptop?" she said, examining it as she set it on her lap. "Now _this_ was unexpected!"

"That so? You 'aven't been whinin' 'bout bein' the only kid at school without one for the whole summer then? Good to know..." Spike teased, resulting in a smack. "Watch the arm, you're gonna leave a bruise."

"Sure, it's a more practical gift, but you deserve that bit of normalcy Dawn," Buffy said. "While stakes are great and useful for _our_ lifestyle, this is what you need for _your _new one."

"Aw Buff," she said, standing to hug her sister. "But I'm not starting a new one, I'm just extending _ours_. I'm still the little sister of the Slayer, that will never change. And with a guardian vampire scaring away all of my potential boyfriends, I'm sure I'll be reminded of it quite often."

"Damn right," Spike said.

"Besides, who _wouldn't_ want a set of personalized stakes?" she said. "Now, enough of this, I still have one more present to open before you spill the details Buff."

"I've kept them a secret this long," Buffy defended. "But you're probably right - go on then."

Dawn smiled as she grabbed the last box off the table and set in on her lap.

Inside was a framed portrait of herself, Connor, Buffy and Spike. There were no other words to describe it other than beautiful. Dawn took in every detail, tracing her finger along the different faces of her family.

"Who..." she whispered, looking from Spike to Buffy. Her older sister smiled, then nodded to the vampire beside her. Dawn turned to face him. "Oh my God Spike, it's... it's amazing. I can't even tell you how much it means to me... when did you..."

"Well, back in my day as you're well aware, I was quite the awful poet... however, I did have a way with the ink," he said. "I was a bit unsatisfied with the shading, bu-..."

"It's perfect," she interrupted. "Beyond perfect."

"That goofy-happy look on his face is his way of saying thank you," Buffy said, smiling over at the two. "And your welcome for expressing that, no need to thank me, I can see what you're feeling written all over your face."

"Yeah, an' it doesn't include those two words you jus' mentioned, more like a-..."

"Is there cake too?" Dawn asked, putting an end to whatever bickering was about to start. "_Please_ tell me there's something else to distract you two from each other."

Spike grinned. "There is one more thing."

"Goody, what it is it? Cake? Is it cake?"

He laughed. "'s not cake Bit, 'though you are makin' a bloke hungry with all that talk... why don't you let Big Sis take the reins on this one, it was 'er idea."

"Well I can't take _all_ the credit - but I will take most," Buffy said, standing. "Follow me if you please."

"Oh I please," Dawn said, quickly trailing behind her to the front door. "Are you kicking me out _now_?"

Buffy laughed. "No. Your last present is outside. It was too big to fit in the house."

Dawn's eyes widened. "Did you get me a _pony_?"

"I do reckon you're a bit too big for a pony, don't you?" Spike teased and she sent him a glare before Buffy reassured her it was better than a pony.

"Three stakes, a laptop and a family portrait... what could possibly be better than that?"

Buffy pulled open the front door and watched as Dawn stepped out onto the porch.

"A car, for starters," she said, following her little sister as she stopped just before the stairs, her mouth hung open at the sight in front of her. "Mind you it isn't in it's prime, but it's a good little car - easy on the gas, which is a plus, and just enough room for you and a few friends."

"_Female_ friends," Spike added. "If I find any trace of-..."

"Shut-up already," Dawn said before skipping towards her "new" care. "I love it. I absolutely love it. I just... wow, how? I mean, two kids, a house, and a large grocery bill with extra blood bags... how could you afford this?"

Buffy shrugged. "Spike's been feeding off humans, it was a sacrifice but you're worth it."

Spike looked over at her and raised an eyebrow. "Thought we don't joke 'bout eatin' people in this house?"

"Minor exception," she said, then turned back to Dawn. "Mom had some money stashed away that was untouched by the banks, that kind of jump started it, and then we saved for a few months... and tada, car."

"You didn't have to do this," Dawn said as she ran her hand along the body of the car. "I'm _really_ glad you did, but you didn't have to."

"We know... but we wanted to. You deserve it Dawnie."

"Yeah, an' it makes your regular trips back home a 'ell of a lot easier, and quicker... which means you can leave sooner," Spike added.

"Actually, it would mean I can leave _later_," she corrected. "But it also means I can bring a few friends with me... oh and the backseat looks awfully spacious, I wonder if I was lying down on my back, with him on-..."

"Give me the keys," Spike ordered, motioning his hand towards Buffy. "Changed my mind, girl's not gettin' the car."

Buffy smiled as she took his hand in hers. "Relax, deep breath... she's eighteen Spike, you're going to have to let her date at some point. Need I remind you I was dating a 200 year old vampire when I was _sixteen_ - I think she's done well considering her genetics," she said, then looked sternly to her younger sister. "But there will be no lying down in the backseat, even if it is just to piss off Spike, understood?"

Dawn sighed. "Fine, understood. I was totally kidding anyways - that's what _his_ backseat is for."

"'s not too late to lock you in the basement Bit, might wanna watch what you're sayin'. Provokin' a vamp is _not_ a good plan, I assure you."

Dawn put on her best pout. "You know I love you, and would _never_ do anything to displease you... now give me my keys," she said, finishing with a smile. Buffy tossed her the keys and Dawn immdediately jumped in the car.

"That girl's gonna be the death of me," Spike mumbled, and when Buffy sent him a teasing look, he cursed. "Bloody 'ell, you know what I mean."

~.~.~

"I can't believe she's gone," Buffy said to Spike as she crawled underneath the covers beside him in their bed. "Our little girl is all growned up."

He wrapped her tightly in his arms as she laid her head on her chest and snuggled into him. "Bit'll be 'lright, she 'ad you to look up to all her life, an' myself, well, I taught her quite a lot 'bout protectin' her own."

"It's going to be so quiet..."

"An' peaceful."

"You're cruel," she said, looking up at him.

He smirked. "Vampire, 'member Slayer, 'm supposed to be cruel."

"We both know that's just a front - you're a real softy on the inside."

There is a moment of silence between them, and Buffy can tell by the look on his face that he's hoping she'll open up to him about the night she was attacked by Parker. It had been three weeks, and she had wanted to tell him many times, yet never allowed herself to. Every night she saw the same look in his eyes, and every night she refused to acknowledge it. But that night had been different.

"It's been three weeks," she started. "But... I can still feel his hands on me. I just... I keep replaying it in my mind, like what could I have done to prevent it? I should've moved faster, been stronger... that stuff is not supposed to happen to _me_. I can fight off a gang of vampires but I can't stop one normal man from getting me down on the ground? How..."

"Buffy, you're not invincible, you can't always be stronger or faster... you're allowed to be weak, you-..."

"No! No, I'm not..." she cried. "I'm the _Slayer_. That's like saying it's okay for cookie-dough not to cook. It doesn't work that way - _I_ don't work that way. I know I'm not perfect, I know that I can fail... but not like this. If it had been a vampire, a demon or a freaking hell God... then and _only_ then, could I be okay with it. But it was Parker, _Parker_. Not only is he human, but he's a human that I knew... one that I had been with... someone that should_ not_ have been able to catch me off my guard in that way."

"Tha's where you're wrong luv. 's only the ones that you know that can catch you off guard... you don't believe they're possible of doin' such a thing tha' you don't expect it when it 'appens. It doesn't mean you did anythin' wrong, it doesn't mean that your senses failed you... it means that you're human too. Yeah, you are the Slayer - and a bloody good one at tha'. But you're also a woman Buffy, maybe you don't think you are, but there's no denyin' it. I lost the man in myself long ago, but the woman inside of you will never leave - it'll always be there, an'... an' I'll always be there protectin' it," he said, then sighed. "If anyone failed, it was me luv. _I_ shouldn't 'ave been so God damn foolish an' then you wouldn't 'ave been out on your own an' none of this woulda 'appened. _I_ failed _you_. An' every night after tha' I... I saved you. 's only been in my dreams, an' I've done it a few different ways, but one thing 'as always been the same - I saved you."

The tears fell freely from her eyes as she gazed up at him, never once peeling her eyes from his. What he had just said meant more to her than anything. She also came to a realization that what had happened had not only affected her, but it had affected him to. He blamed himself for what happened, while she blamed herself.

If they kept believing their own words who knew where that would take them? Of course it was easier said then done to just move on so quickly. But with Spike by her side, what couldn't she do? He had been her rock through so many things, and he always had the ability to pull her out from the darkest of places. It would not be easy - but it would be worth it in the end. She had to let go, and she had to _try_.

"You don't know how true that is... you saved me in so many ways Spike that I can't even begin to explain. And to hear you... for you to blame yourself for what happened just puts it all in perspective. The only person at fault here is Parker - and he most definitely got what he deserved. If we keep punishing ourselves, then he won... but if we can _both_ let it go, _we_ win," she said softly as she reached up to carress his face. "I love you, and I trust you will all of my heart. What happened, it wasn't... and still isn't something that I can just forget about... but I refuse to let it ruin my life... ruin _us_. Shit happens, right? But we just have to pick up and keep going, because that's the only way to move on and be happy."

"For once, you're makin' sense," he teased. "All I want 's for you to be happy luv, an' whatever I can do to make tha' 'appen, you let me know. You're my world Buffy, my always."

She smiled up at him as she reached up and kissed him softly. "And you're mine Spike... you know what would make me _really_ happy?"

"Wha's tha'?" he asked.

She grinned. "Willow told me about this nest across town that they stumbled upon a couple days ago - I was leaving it until I felt more like myself... but I could not be more ready for this. I'm warning you though, it could be dangerous."

Spike smirked down at her. "Wouldn't be much fun if it wasn't - wha' are we waitin' for?"

~.~.~

"Ughhh go away," Buffy groaned as she swatted at the ringing telephone beside the bed. She buried her head deep in the pillow before reaching over to tap Spike - but the space beside her was empty. "Stupid vampire..." she mumbled as she rolled over and angrily answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Buffy? It's... Cordelia."

Buffy's eyes widened at the familiar voice, and she found herself sitting up feeling very much awake. "Cordy? I, uh..."

"I know, I just... is Angel with you?"

"He was... but he isn't anymore. He told me what you did. Well, he didn't delve into details, but I got the gist of betrayal. What do you want?"

Cordelia sighed. "I want to explain. I know that won't fix what I did, but I need someone to understand. I thought maybe if he was there, he might listen to... to you."

"You want me to do your dirty work for you? Some things never change..." Buffy said bitterly.

"It isn't like that Buffy. I've grown up since high school, and a huge part of that - actually _all_ of that - is because of Angel. I hurt him, and there is no going back... but I feel like if he knew why I did it, maybe he could understand."

Buffy sighed. "Fine, Cordy... lay it on me."

"It all started when a demon approached me with an offer-..."

"And you said _yes_?" Buffy cut in, then her voice softenend. "Sorry, years of Slayer instincts kicking in... go on."

"So the demon told me that if I could get Angel to a certain place at a certain time then I could have one wish. I guess he was some sort of time demon - I don't know. He told me that I could have the one I'd loved and lost... I thought... I didn't know they would try and _kill_ him. It was a mistake, a really, _really_, big mistake, but I _needed _him back so bad, and when I thought I could have him, I..."

"Who? Whose life were you hoping to recieve in trade for Angel's?"

There was a long pause before Cordelia answered. "Doyle. I don't... you don't know him. He was... well he was Angel's best friend I guess you would say. He sacrificed himself and-..."

"I don't need a long explanation Cordy. You were willing to sacrifice Angel to have the love of your life back... I can understand that... I'm not saying I _approve_ of what you did, but I understand... I just-... wait, did you say a time demon of sorts?"

"Well, yeah. He was going to bring Doyle back from the time just before he died - why?"

"Okay... this is new and confusing information my brain does not want to deal with _this_ early in the morning," Buffy said. "Do you have any idea what's been going on the last year?"

"No, why? Is something wrong? Is Angel-..."

"He's fine, he's fine. It's just... well, this may be a bit hard to grasp, but there are currently two Buffy's present. I, uh, kind of showed up on Angel's doorstep all confused and oh say, a decade younger." Silence filled the line, and Buffy waited for Cordelia it take in what she had said before continuing. "Willow found out that she had been brought here by some demon, and the spell itself had make had made her magic repelant or whatever - so now we can't get rid of her. But what I don't understand, is _why_ this demon who was looking to make a pile of dust out of Angel, would go to such lengths to... well, make him happy?"

Again, there was a long pause. "I don't think it was to make him happy Buffy. He could never have you... if you were being dangled right in front of him - how do you think he would feel, knowing you're there but unable to be with you?"

Buffy sighed. "That's true - but there are other factors. Like, for one the curse doesn't apply to her... if Angel wanted... well, they _could_ be together. Maybe this demon guy didn't realize that but... he should have been smart enough _not_ to bring a Slayer back."

"Maybe he didn't know. And maybe this had nothing to do with Angel. I didn't give this guy what he wanted, Angel didn't die, I didn't hold up my end of the bargain so... bringing you back into his life... well, that hurts... no offense."

"None taken. Listen, I actually _would _like to help you Cordy, but it just isn't my place to call Angel up and lay all of this on him. It's something that you have to do yourself. Trust me, he's probably feeling a bit more understanding now since, well everything that's happened. Even if he doesn't forgive you, at least you'll know you tried, right?"

"I guess you're right," Cordelia said, then paused before saying, "So are you _really_ in love with _Spike_?"

~.~.~

AN: Okay, so I'm not really happy with the Cordy phone call, but I kind of just squeezed that in. I hope it answered some questions for you all. This chapter is technically the last - but I will be adding one PURE Spuffy chapter =) Kind of like an epilogue of sorts.


	21. Epilogue  Part 1

Author's Note: Wow! This took me awful long to get up, hey? Sorry! I've been super busy with school & personal crap, but here it is :) ! I hope you guys enjoy it, an all spuffy chap with absolutely NO bangel! However, I'm going to add a chapter after this with _just_ bangel - give some clarity on their whole situation... that will be up sometime over the next couple weeks. Thanks for sticking out the wait - if you did :) & let me know what you think!

PS: Oh, & if some words are mispelled, please correct them in your mind - I'm writing without Word, & although I am generally _good_ at spelling, I'm sure there are a few mistakes :)

~.~.~

6 months later...

~.~.~

A tear slid down her cheek as she watched the most precious thing in her life disappear from her view. So many emotions ambushed her at that moment she was left frozen in place, unsure of what to do next. She was the Slayer, she could face a vampire without so much as a butterfly in her stomach, but yet the slightest look from him and her insides turned to mush.

Buffy didn't know how he did it - he was only _four_ years old. But Connor had wormed his way into her life, and had changed everything she was.

"Buffy, luv, you alright?" Spike asked, wrapping an arm around her waist as he pulled her against him. "'s just pre-school, you'll see the little bugger in a few hours."

She glanced up at him, then back to the empty driveway. "It's just... what if he needs me? What if he falls, or what if he gets sick? Oh no, what if another little boy bullies him? What if-..."

"He'll be fine - the teachers 'ave your cell number jus' incase somethin' _does_ 'appen, but it won't. If you don't let the boy explore now, then you'll only make it 'arder later," he said, and she nodded. "On the bright side, jus' me an' you all alone in the house - _all_ day."

She found herself smiling - how Spike always managed to make her feel like everything would be okay, she didn't know. All that mattered was that he did.

"And I bet you think you're going to get lucky, don't you?" she asked, turning in his arms to face him.

"Well, the thought 'ad come to mind," he said, smirking down at her. "'s a perfect opportunity to get your mind off things. I know plenty of ways to-..."

"Do you really think I can do _that_ at a time like _this_?," she interrupted. "Our baby has just gone off in some van to pre-school where I can't see him, talk to him - nothing. He's all alone, and-..."

"_Alone_? He's got like twenty other kids his age to play with - you really think he's gonna 'ave time to stop and miss you? No offense luv, but I'm certain he's nothin' but 'appy."

"Are you saying he doesn't _like _me?" she asked.

Spike sighed. "Look pet, I 'ppreciate tha' you're all emotional durin' a time like this - you got every right to be, but don't you think you're takin' things jus' a bit far? Connor's four years old, he's not a baby anymore - he needs to be 'round kids his own age. 's no good for 'im to be stuck in the house all day with us two. He _loves_ you, tha' 'as nothin' to do with it."

She frowned. "But what if-..."

"Tha's it - 've 'ad 'nough of the wha' if's. Time to make with the 'ere an' now," he said, pulling her body tight into his.

"Spike..." she whispered against him. "I told you I-..."

"Need I remind you of jus' _wha'_ I am luv. 'sides the fact tha' I can tell wha' _you_ want from miles away," he smirked down at her. She sent him a stern look, but he ignored it before crashing his lips into hers.

~.~.~

Buffy's birthday was around the corner, and although most people her age would consider it a burden, she thought of it as a miracle. She was the Slayer, her life had pretty much been mapped out for her, including her death certificate. She was the oldest living Slayer in history, and she knew exactly why - she was _not_ alone.

No matter what evil she had been destined to defeat, she had the support and skills of her family and friends - and _him_.

However, she couldn't deny that the majority of her previous birthday celebrations had ended in disaster, so while she was glad to have one, she was also terrified to show it.

When Willow appeared on her doorstep, she knew that she was in for the ritiual lecture. She couldn't have been more _wrong_.

"You want me to do _what_?" Buffy asked, staring over at her red-headed friend in disbelief.

"_We_ want you to have a birthday full of partying and relaxation - just not here," she said with a smile. "It's no secret that your birthdays aren't always... conventional... but regardless you deserve to have some fun - and if you're miles and miles away from the Hellmouth, well, seems like the perfect opportunity."

"And you're volunteering for babysitting duty for a _week_?" she asked. "Have you lost your mind or are you just delusional?"

Willow laughed. "Don't even worry about that, Connor will be fine. He's a four year old little boy, how much trouble can he be for one week?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

"This is a present, you're supposed to say thank you and take it with a smile - not argue it. Besides, it's already been booked and it's non-refundable. So unless you plan on wasting your friends hard earned money, your butt will be on that plane and loving it," she said.

Buffy sighed, then smiled. "Alright - but when Connor is tearing your house apart just remember that this was all _your_ doing."

~.~.~

That night, Buffy and Spike walked through the cemetery, hand in hand. Xander had offered to take Connor for a "man night", and after seeing the expression on Connor's face when he had heard all of the gross things it would entail - there was no way she could refuse.

As they walked, she could feel the bottled up anger inside of Spike from just the touch of his hand, and she knew exactly why - _Dawn_. Well, not Dawn specifically, her boyfriend - _David_. On her weekly phone call home, she had given a few too many details to Buffy, which Spike had overheard as a result of his vampire hearing. Needless to say, he was not going to be welcoming David into the family any time soon.

"You have to let it go," Buffy said softly. "She's almost _nineteen_ - she isn't a baby anymore."

He looked over at her. "This comin' from the woman who was havin' a nervous breakdown at the thought of her _four_ year old goin' off to preschool?"

She rolled her eyes. "_That_ was different... Connor is just barely out of baby years, Dawn, well... she was never actually in them. Technically, she's older than you - so she should be dictating who _you_ date."

Spike laughed. "Tha's your argument? Someone's lost their touch."

"I have _not_ lost my anything," she said. "But if you don't let Dawn get out and explore, it's just going to be harder later on... isn't _that_ right?"

"You're throwin' tha' back at me, eh? Fine then, let the little Bit go and get herself a boyfriend - I jus' can't make the promise tha' he'll live long 'nough to propose."

"Stop being such a vampire. David is a nice guy, at least... I think he is," she said.

"For all you know he's a serial killer, maybe me killin' 'im will be doin' the world a favour, you know, savin' girls from a horrible death an' all."

She glanced over at him and raised an eyebrow. "Or here's a thought - you could _not_. Besides, when would you ever find the time? We have a vacation to take, remember?"

He smirked. "Yeah, 's long as the sun doesn't decide to shine down on us."

"Willow took care of all of that - night flight, cozy cottage for two, shady deck... it's almost perfect," she said, smiling over at him.

"Almost?"

"Well, it _would_ be perfect if my boyfriend was excited to spend a week alone with me, but it seems like he's more interested in-..."

Spike interrupted her when he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her body into his. "I'll show you excited luv." He was about to kiss her, when she brought her hand up to stop him. "Bloody 'ell, not this 'gain."

She laughed lightly. "Don't worry, you'll get a chance to show me how excited you are later - but _after_ I dust the vampire that's creeping up behind you."

Spike smirked before turning his head to see that she was telling the truth. "You mean after _I_ dust 'im."

"No, I mean after I do."

"Not if I get to 'im first."

"_Not_ going to happen," she said, pushing him to the side as she pulled a stake from her pocket and headed towards the vampire.

Spike let out a frustrated sigh and rested against a nearby tombstone as he lit up a cigarette. He hadn't really wanted to fight the vamp, but how could he pass up an opportunity to argue with the Slayer? Watching her fight never ceased to amaze him - the way her body dodged an attack, the way she landed one - the way she _danced_. It had taken her a while to accept the term he used, but she had and by the way she fought he _knew_ that she felt it.

He watched her with pride - knowing that he was with the most powerful woman alive had the ability to make his heart skip a beat - metaphorically speaking of course. A part of him, mostly the vampire instincts, felt as if she was his - and in a way, she was. But he knew that she would never truly belong to him, that was just part of being the Slayer. Still, it hadn't and never would change his love for her. Whether she was his or not didn't matter in the end - it was the fact that she had _chosen_ to be with him that mattered.

~.~.~

A week later, Buffy sat on the deck of the small cottage, staring out at the beautiful beach it rested on. It was mid-morning, and Spike was still sleeping - habit, she supposed. But Buffy was far from sleep. Here they were, Slayer and vampire, on a romantic vacation in a warm climate - who would've thought? Surely not her. The thought of ever having a normal relationship had disappeared the minute she had realized she was in love with Spike. There was nothing normal about him, vampire issues aside.

A smile formed on her lips at the thought. Spike was definitely unique, and while some of it came from being a vampire, she knew it hadn't all. But despite his many quirks, she loved him all the same. His undead status didn't matter. He was a great father figure, an amazing fighter, and a sensational lover.

_That_ thought turned her cheeks a light shade of red.

"Daydreamin' 'bout me 'gain luv?"

Buffy turned at the sound of his voice and smiled over at him. "Yeah right Mr. Self Involved. For your information, I was daydreaming about that guy running across the beach all shirtless and sweaty."

She could hear Spike's familiar growl and laughed as she stood to face him.

"You best be jokin' or I'll-..."

"Save the threats. You know I only have eyes for you," she said, walking into his arms. "It's just so fun to tease you. That noise you make reminds me of this cute little puppy I had when I was a kid. But then we had to get rid of him... turns out I'm allergic," she said, then paused before faking a sneeze. "Uh oh..."

"You think you're somethin', don't you?" he asked, tightening his grip on her waist. "You jus' wait 'til the sun goes down. 'm feelin' like a nice dip in the big blue, an' if you don't start showin' some respect then I jus' might not treat you - no need for air, remember kitten?" he said, smirking down at her.

She tried her best to look disapproving, but failed. "While that offer is tempting - and I promise I _will_ hold you to it - I think it'd be nice to look around town first... scout the place out - who knows, maybe they've got vampires down here?"

He groaned as his head fell back. "Thought we weren't gonna talk 'bout work. We're 'spposed to be relaxin', doin' anything but _that_."

Buffy shrugged. "It's in my blood, what can I say? Just one quick look and then we'll head right back - _please_."

He sighed. "One condition," he said, waiting for her to nod before continuing, "you start my day off with that pleasant little trick you do with your-..."

"Fist? The one where I punch you?" she teased. "Or maybe my foot - the one where I kick you? No? Ohhh... you must mean the _other_ one."

"Never knew a tongue could move that way until you showed me," he said with a pleased smirk. "An' thanks to you I'll never forget it neither."

"_Before_ we get to that, hows about some nice lunch? I pre-heated an already cooked meal and the cupboard is stacked with wheetabix - almost like someone gave specific instructions, huh?" she said, and he smiled innocently. "If we're leaving work at home, that means leaving the threatening behaviour there too."

"But 's jus' so fun," he said. "An' you know it makes you hot Slayer, admit it."

She gasped. "I will _not_. You think you're the first bad boy I've been around?" she laughed. "I've had _plenty _of experience with guys like you in every way possible... wait, okay, so that might not have come out the way I thought, but you know what I mean."

He laughed. "Now that you mention it, I could go for a nice mug of warm blood and some of tha' wheetabix."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "There must be like twenty boxes in there, how in the heck are you going to manage to eat _all_ that? It's so... blah."

"Yeah, well, not much else I _can_ eat, is there? At least nothin' I get much satisfaction out of," he said, then paused to scan her body with his eyes. "On second thought, there is one-..."

"Do you ever stop?" she asked, pushing him into the kitchen.

"Do you ever want me to?" he teased.

"It's not that I don't enjoy all of the sexy talk and lust filled eyes, but hello - my stomach is practically begging for attention. Food first, play later," she said, glancing over at him as she pulled her lunch from the microwave.

"An' you say _I _got a problem with food."

~.~.~.~

_...What do you got, if you ain't got love,_

_Whatever you got, it just ain't enough._

_You're walkin' the road, but you're goin' nowhere,_

_You're tryin' to find your way home, but there's no one there._

_Who do you hold, in the dark of night,_

_You wanna give up, but it's worth the fight._

_You have all the things, that you've been dreamin' of._

_If you ain't got someone, you're afraid to lose,_

_Everybody needs just one, someone... to tell them the truth._

_Maybe I'm a dreamer, but I still believe._

_I believe in hope, I believe the change can get us off our knees..._

After a quick sweep of the downtown area, Buffy's search for the paranormal came up empty, so the two decided to make a stop at a local club. Buffy may have persuaded Spike slightly with a few promises, but it had been well worth it.

Nothing felt better to Buffy than being held in Spike's arms. There were no words to describe the feeling of security and love, but words were never needed in their case. They had an amazing connection, what that few - if any, would ever have.

She looked up into his eyes and smiled. "What are you thinkin'?" he asked.

"I can't believe it's been _four_ years. Not just Connor... but me and you."

"Seems like, but at the same time it doesn't," he said with a smile.

"I know, right? Sometimes I think 'God, it's like we're married', and other times I'm all 'can I stake this guy already?'", she teased. Spike tightened his grip on her waist in response. "Can I, uh... ask you something?"

He tilted his head. "'course pet, anythin'."

"Well, I've been wondering this off and on for, well... a while. Does it bother you? Being with me, I mean? Not because _I'm_ the Slayer, but because my _blood_ is."

Spike sighed. "I can't lie Buffy, your blood is like no other, an' 'course there are times where I'd want nothin' more than to taste you - but 'm not 'bout to cross that line. I love _all_ of you, but even if you weren't the Slayer, if you _didn't_ 'ave the power in your blood - I'd still love you no different," he said, and she nodded, not seeming fully convinced. "An' wha' brings this 'bout?"

She shrugged. "Just thoughts I guess... you know us girls, always with the selfconcious."

Spike laughed as he looked down into her eyes. "You? Selfconcious? I'd say you're anythin' but."

Her face softened as her fingers played with his hair. "Not when it comes to you," she whispered.

He gently brought his hand up to caress her cheek. "You've got nothin' to worry 'bout Slayer, you're the perfect one for me - there is _nothin'_ I would change."

"When did you get to be so gentleman-like?"

He smirked. "Somewhere between you... an' you."

"Do you remember the first time we met?" she asked with a mischevious smile.

"How could I forget tha'? You were shakin' in your boots."

She glared up at him. "I was _not_ shaking my anything - I was merely judging the situation... and it's not like you were all confident either," she said, and when he sent her a look, she rolled her eyes. "Okay fine, you couldn't have been any cockier. But I seem to recall kicking your cocky butt on more than _one_ occasion that year."

"An' I seem to recall nearly killin' you," he said.

"Key word there - _nearly_."

"Maybe I was plannin' not to, maybe I was plannin' to let you live long 'nough so that I-... oh 'ell, who am I kiddin'? Killin' you proved more challengin' than I thought."

"I'll take that as a compliment, thank you," she said with a smile. "But I can't take _all_ the credit - you managed to avoid the end of a pointy stake as much I did your fangs."

He nodded. "Call it a tie then?"

"I don't know, maybe we'll have to have a re-match," she said with a playful grin. "I think it might be time to go back to the cottage... take a little dip."

He smirked. "Don't tease me luv, you know tha' never ends good - for you."

"Who said anything about teasing? You can have me, _all_ of me... as soon as you find me." Spike raised an eyebrow. "Oh come on, _live_ a little - we only have a few days left, then it's back to real-life... slaying, parenting, _housework_... amuse me."

"Alright then - you got 'til the count of five before I start huntin'..."

She smirked up at him before slowly pulling herself out of his hold. "Catch me if you can," she said before taking off.

Spike watched her leave with a smile on her face - life could not be better.


	22. Epilogue Part 2

Author's Note: Alrighty, here's the second & last part of Life After You! I'm sooo glad you guys enjoyed this story, & thanks SO much for the nice reviews :) This chapter is strictly B/A/C, so if you don't want to read it - no hurt feelings! :) Enjoy!

~.~.~

"Angel?" PBuffy asked as she poked her head into his office. "I just got off the phone with some guy who has a major demon problem. Some sort of slimey thing in his basement... I think it might have eaten his dog."

Angel looked up from his desk with a smile. "I'll check into it. Anything else?"

She shook her head as she made her way over to him, sliding down onto his lap. "Nothing of the work kind, but something of the Buffy kind."

PBuffy gently touched her lips to his in a soft kiss. The pair had been back in LA for six months, and had re-opened the business four months ago. Things between them hadn't started off right away, but Angel was only able to deny his feelings for so long before they surfaced. It was still awkward at times, as well as confusing, but they had managed to work through it together.

PBuffy's skills had also proven usefull to Angel's business - what better partner to have than the Slayer? Of course, along with the good came the bad. While most demons and vampires shyed away at the thought of fighting the Slayer, there were still the braver ones who dared to challenge her.

Despite a few close calls, PBuffy was _not_ going anywheres - and she had made that very clear to not only Angel, but the demon population as well.

There was a knock on the front door, and PBuffy groaned as she felt Angel pull away. "We don't _have_ to answer it," she whined. "It's like what - ten? Come on people, ever hear of business hours?"

"We don't have business hours Buffy," he said. "We're here to help whoever needs it, it doesn't matter what time."

"Fine, but this one is all you," she said, standing up.

He smiled over at her as he stood and headed for the main entrance. PBuffy followed slowly behind him, uninterested yet still curious.

When Angel opened the door, he wasn't really certain _what_ to do. As far as he had been concerned, _she_ was out of his life, and had been since the day she'd betrayed him.

"Cordelia, what are you doing here?"

"Angel, I know you don't want to see me, let alone talk to me, but I really-..."

"Cordelia?" PBuffy asked, appearing beside him.

"Wow, so she was telling the truth..." Cordelia said, then looked back at Angel. "I called Buffy a while ago, I wanted to talk to you then but you had already left, and I just didn't have the guts to face you until now... I understand that I'm the last person you want to see, but if you could please give me a chance to explain."

Angel sighed. "Come in."

Cordelia wanted to smile, but she was unable to make herself do so. Why she was there was no reason to be smiling about, whether or not Angel was giving her a second chance.

"You re-opened," she noticed as she stopped in the lobby, turning to face him. "And you look happy."

"I _am_ happy," he said, then turned to PBuffy. "Can you give us a minute?"

PBuffy looked over at Cordelia, unsure how she felt about her. The last time _she _had seen Cordelia they were graduating; but she knew better than to think that the one standing in front of her was the same person.

"Uh, okay... I'll go give that dog man a call," she said before disappearing.

Cordelia followed Angel into his office and sat down in a chair across from his desk. She waited for him to sit as well before speaking. "What I did was wrong, _so_ wrong and I can't tell you how sorry I am. But I'm here because I want you to understand _why_ I did it - and no, I don't think it will make much of a difference, and maybe it will only make it worse... but you need to know."

He nodded. "Go on."

"Doyle. I made a deal - a _stupid_ deal with a demon, and-..."

"_Doyle_?" he asked.

She nodded. "I never knew you would get hurt, I swear. All I knew was that this demon wanted to do business with you, I didn't know what, I-... he gave me a meeting time and address, and then sent Lincoln over to make sure I went through with it. I had no idea that they would try and kill you, and then-... well, then when they didn't, I didn't get Doyle... I think you got Buffy instead."

"Buffy? Why would a demon send the Slayer to someone he wants dead?"

Cordelia shrugged. "I don't know... to spite me? To spite _you_? Maybe he has no idea you knew her - maybe he knows the exact way that you do..."

Angel sighed. "If you came here asking for forgiveness Cordy - I've already forgave you. If anything, I partially blame myself. You were right. I was so involved in my own pain, I didn't take the time to recognize yours... _I_ was wrong."

Cordelia couldn't help but smile - _that_ was something to be happy about. "I missed you so much. After what happened... I realized that if... if it had worked, and Doyle would've came back... he would've hated me for what I did as much as I hated myself. It was a lack of judgment, I just felt so alone, and-.."

"I've heard enough," he said sternly as he stood from his chair and stopped in front of her. "I think it's time for a hug," he added with a soft smile.

Cordelia's face lit up as she stood and molded herself into his embrace. It felt so good to be in his arms again, if only on a friendly basis. That is all she wanted from him - his friendship.

"If you need a job Cordy, there's plenty of space for you here," he said as she pulled away from him.

She looked up at him and shook her head slightly. "Thank you, really... but I think that would only complicate things and the last thing I want is to mess me and you up again..."

He nodded. "I understand."

"But don't think you're getting off the hook that quick Mr., I already have a job and a semi-decent apartment right here in L of A. So if _you_ need _me_, I won't be far," she said with a smile.

"It's nice to see you again Cordelia," he said. "But I should get back to work, lots of humans who need saving."

She nodded. "I understand. Don't be a stranger... and, I'm glad you're happy Angel, it almost makes me feel like I did something right in the big mess I made."

He smiled. "Keep in touch."

"Oh I will. Tell Buffy I said goodluck - if she's working and living with _you_, she'll need it," she said with a playful smile.

"I'm kind of tired of your company already," he said, walking her to the door. "But you're always welcome here."

"Thank you," she said, and with one more hug, was gone.

~.~.~

"Aww, look at this one-... no wait, that one-... no, no, here, this one-... aww, but look at him," PBuffy cooed as she peered into the kennels that held several different types of dogs. Her and Angel were at the local animal shelter. It had taken much persuading on her part, but after pout number thirty-five, Angel finally gave in and agreed on the idea of a business/companion dog. "Angel, he's the cutest, isn't he? Look at those ears, oh and his mouth, it's like-..."

"It's a dog Buffy, not a child," he said with a smile. "If you had your way there wouldn't be any left once you're through."

"Clearly I do have it _my_ way considering you were so dead against the thought of a dog in the hotel. It's not an easy decision, this is a committment, something that we'll have for the rest of our lives - however long that may or may _not_ be... hey, maybe he could even help us out, you know? Track down the baddies for us," she said as she placed her hand against the metal of one of the kennels.

Angel smiled over at her. "What about that one?" he asked, pointing to a kennel that was a few away from where they were standing. "He looks like a potential demon fighter."

She smirked at him before moving to get a better look. Inside the kennel was a medium-sized German Shepherd - he appeared to be roughly ten months old, not even an adult yet. One of his ears flopped slightly, and above his left earbrow rested a crescent scar. The look in his eyes told PBuffy that although he may look young and innocent, he was far from it. He had seen a lot in his short life - something she could relate to well. While many of the other dogs in the shelter were cute and likable, there was something about this one inparticular that she felt herself drawn to.

"He's the one," she said, crouching down to his level. "I think I'll name him... Scout."

Angel raised an eyebrow down at her as he stiffled a laugh. "Scout?"

She glared up at him. "You have a problem with my name?"

"Well, it doesn't exactly _fit_ him, don't you think?"

PBuffy stood to face him. "Okay Mr. Big Shot - you name him then."

"Duke."

Buffy hesitated, pondering the suggestion. "Don't think you're all special or anything, but I... I like it. Duke. _Duke_. Yeah, it's perfect."

"_Clearly_, you don't always have it your way," he mocked.

"See, I so knew that you would get like this if I agreed with you - nevermind, I'm naming him Scout, or maybe Dixy..."

"You've got to be kidding me," he said. "Why do you always have to be so stubborn?"

"I am _not_ stubborn - I prefer strong willed."

Angel rolled his eyes. "Fine, lets go with Duke - _please_."

"Since you asked nicely, I'll reconsider," she said with a smile. "But, there is _one_ condition." He nodded as he waited for her to continue. "Duke gets his own room - a bed, a tv, a mini fridge, bathroom - the whole works."

Angel laughed. "He's a dog Buffy."

"He's a lost soul looking for someone to love him and take care of him for the rest of his life - he's been living in a dingy shelter with no personal space or material items and God even knows where he was _before_ this... he deserves it."

"Stubborn," Angel mumbled.

"Fine - I'll just make your office his personal bathroom."

"You're impossible, you know that?"

She nodded with a smile. "It's one of my many qualities."

"Alright, alright. He can have his own room - but unless you can train him to use the toilet, he does his business outside."

"Agreed. Shall we?" she asked, heading towards the main office.

"We shall," he said as he followed behind her, nothing but happiness and love in his heart.

~.~.~

AN: Well, that's it! I'm not overjoyed with this chapter, but it's been a while since I've written the story & I've kind of lost my connection to it. But I hope that I satisfied :) Please leave any kind of review you see fit, & thanks again for reading this story !


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